tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post8131487415845531600..comments2008-01-27T13:55:25.533-08:00Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-79755634655210696812008-01-27T13:55:00.000-08:002008-01-27T13:55:00.000-08:00Thanks for commenting, Calia. I know there are some women who flourish inside these standards and I don't take issue with that, but so many of us die a little every time we are told how to be a better wife/mother/daughter/hostess/priestess etc. <BR/><BR/>I'm no expert on dating, but I would say don't go gray to find a husband, because you will be setting yourself up for him having a certain expectation of who you are.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-14440391963394145512008-01-27T13:50:00.000-08:002008-01-27T13:50:00.000-08:00Thanks Hanan. That's really what it's about - individual beauty.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-86813609460729829302008-01-27T07:52:00.000-08:002008-01-27T07:52:00.000-08:00Hi, thanks for writing this. It sums up so much of what I feel about being a Christian woman. We're not taught how to be who we are. And hence we either try to squeeze ourselves into a place where we don't belong (and turn ourselves grey, as you put it), or act out and become a caricature of ourselves.<BR/><BR/>And it doesn't help when (I'm not saying all here) Christian guys don't know who they are, so are frightened of the technicolour and push us towards the grey. As a single Christian woman in her 30's, I'm tired of scared little Christian men thinking I should be more grey and then they MIGHT be interested in me.<BR/><BR/>By the way, found you through the lovely, and also very technicolour, Barbara.Calia77http://www.blogger.com/profile/16692255604018422147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-9482409389939701542008-01-23T06:57:00.000-08:002008-01-23T06:57:00.000-08:00As a man, I could never completley resonate with your feelings as I haven't been there myself. However, listening to your experience, I'm impressed with how what you're experiencing more and more is what Jesus came to free each one of His kids (girls, boys, women, men) to be able to do. To be the beautiful individual person that He's created us as and to heal our brokenness to allow that individual beauty to shine brighter.<BR/><BR/>Of course we all know that life has valuable trials, but may you never feel the devil trying to stuff you back in the pressure cooker of other's expectations again!!!<BR/><BR/>Good post!Hanan Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17624424768025862146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-79548064435446307672008-01-22T20:02:00.000-08:002008-01-22T20:02:00.000-08:00Nate - I hear ya. I wish it was easier to pass on to others.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-26511010942689181102008-01-22T19:12:00.000-08:002008-01-22T19:12:00.000-08:00Erin I have the same passion. Not just for women, but everyone in religion. Men have the same expectations pushed on them as well. The participation in the different "Men's Groups" and things like that. <BR/><BR/>One of the groups was about setting your heart free as a man and not being afraid to do manly things. I went to 1 meeting, then never went back. I was already me, and did not need to be taught how to be me.<BR/><BR/>I guess a lot of the bondage I broke was not worrying about what people thought. But what God thought of me. I had no convictions of improper behavior on me, so why worry about it. It was not always that way, but it is now. I would like to help others find that.Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11286219824281974297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-86325559621236435332008-01-21T22:12:00.000-08:002008-01-21T22:12:00.000-08:00Pam - "Ex-good-Christian-women" is Kathy's thing...I just borrowed it. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for being my friend. I'm so glad we have each other to share some of these controversial views with!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-85789817964834471972008-01-21T21:05:00.000-08:002008-01-21T21:05:00.000-08:00<B>ex-good-Christian women </B><BR/><BR/>oh, that's good. that needs to either be the title of your book or at the very least the topic for one of those synchro blogs you are fond of doing. that would be sooooooooo much fun to write, don't ya think? i know this post had a lot of good stuff in it, but I know that you have a helluva lot more to say on the subject of Ex-good christian women.<BR/><BR/>Last night was great. Loved the meeting of our hearts and minds with Kathy. Glad that worked out...<BR/>and I'm glad that you are out of that weird place of religious bondage that held you back. I love that you are free and getting freer! You inspire me!!!Pam Hogeweidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12667139057131247825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-24304804538354104652008-01-21T19:02:00.000-08:002008-01-21T19:02:00.000-08:00Mary - I agree. I wish it weren't so.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-77780179488921271832008-01-21T16:00:00.000-08:002008-01-21T16:00:00.000-08:00Thanks for sharing about this. It's amazing what people will do when they think it will please God.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14210237440245609870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-30929519338840973032008-01-21T15:39:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:39:00.000-08:00Oh, thank you Cindi. I'm so glad to hear you are feeling more settled there in the land of the midnight sun! Hehe.<BR/><BR/>I was very good at hiding my misery because I didn't think I had a choice. I know you could have told me differently if I had let on, but that's just who I was at the time. I was an unwavering evangelical.<BR/><BR/>Love you!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-30360799152799162422008-01-21T15:33:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:33:00.000-08:00As I'm getting more settled in, I'm more able to get online and check in on your blog. You have such a beautiful and talented way of writing in a way ppl can relate and understand. <BR/><BR/>I never knew all those years you were so miserable, but I'm very happy for you that you're finding your way out of the fog and being who you truly are - a bright, shining - and yes, a technicolor woman. You inspire me :)Cindihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07836841526306338690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-5801660238821563472008-01-21T15:29:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:29:00.000-08:00Barry - I wish I had been able to avoid the conformity...I would have been a lot happier.<BR/><BR/>I'm so thankful, though, that I have found people who agree with me about this crazinessErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-52083589827433264352008-01-21T15:25:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:25:00.000-08:00Amen, BarrySuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-32243079411988046952008-01-21T15:24:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:24:00.000-08:00I'm <I>so</I> glad I'm married to a woman who's happy being herself and doesn't try to conform to the Stepford Church Wives sort of image. If she did, she wouldn't be the wonderful person she is today.<BR/><BR/>As you said, Erin, it's not only women who are forced into a mould that doesn't fit. For years I was forced into the mould of 'good Christian man'. In the end I couldn't fit - mild mannered, meek, inoffensive and non-opinionated (i.e. church doormat) just isn't my style. Nor is listening exclusively to worship music, wearing a suit and tie to church or cutting myself off from the real world.<BR/><BR/>We should encourage people to be who they really are in God, not try to force them into conformity - whichever sex they happen to belong to.Barryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18344399473884127122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-34963583451024329082008-01-21T15:04:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:04:00.000-08:00Hi Kathy - You'll have to ignore the previous series of comments, Sue and I have a mutually good-natured but harassing relationship. ;-)<BR/><BR/>I so very much loved talking with you last night. I can't even explain how encouraging it is to me the progress you are making on this subject.<BR/><BR/>More power to the ex-good-Christian women everywhere!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-70895204835813362282008-01-21T15:00:00.001-08:002008-01-21T15:00:00.001-08:00hey erin, it was so fun hanging out with you both and i LOVED this post! you articulated it so well...i will be sharing with my ex-good-christian-women group for sure...stay in touch. i am so glad to share the journey with people like you...may your colors become more vivid, deep, rich, mixed together in all kinds of crazy beautiful ways in the months and years to come...kathykathyescobarhttp://www.kathyescobar.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-39353889221312667202008-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:002008-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00No, that's very true (and a bit lame, but we'll let that pass).<BR/><BR/>I don't buy those cards anyway, so you're not talking to me (you're talking to the hand, but you can't see me so I just thought I'd let you know)<BR/><BR/>:)<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing some passive aggression with me! It's been really fun!! Now, I really need to go and eat or else I'm going to pass out.Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-19997366968943205982008-01-21T14:54:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:54:00.000-08:00Hey, we're not the ones who put snowmen on our Christmas cards even though it's SUMMER!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-8329304591406763862008-01-21T14:51:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:51:00.000-08:00Hehe. Me laughing here too. But that's enough Warrant on an empty stomach. I don't want to begin my TUESDAY hurling.<BR/><BR/>It is so Tuesday. You damn Americans. You think that just cos it's Monday over there that it's Monday everywhere else.<BR/><BR/>;)Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-5419463051989744682008-01-21T14:49:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:49:00.000-08:00(Erin's just laughing and laughing...)<BR/><BR/>If you think about baseball you can swing all night...<BR/><BR/>Shame is right...Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-4959166820421588632008-01-21T14:46:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:46:00.000-08:00No, it's not too far away. I'm just not sure how to get there. But apparently, even though I ain't got money nor any gas, I can' get where I'm going if I swing real fast.<BR/><BR/>Doesn't sound like a particularly Christian worldview, but there you go.<BR/><BR/>See, these Christian women - you liberate them, take them out of their pressure cooker kitchens, and they become nasty, feisty little creatures, spewing out their musical evil. Shame, Erin, shame.Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-80407950788470295272008-01-21T14:41:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:41:00.000-08:00I'm sorry Sue...wait, no I'm not. Heaven isn't too far away, you know?<BR/><BR/>And it's not Tuesday.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-54910730681408818312008-01-21T14:39:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:39:00.000-08:00You know exactly the effect that will have on my internal radio station (Radio Susie).<BR/><BR/>Problem is, with Warrant it's always double-shot Tuesday. I get Big Talk *and* a neat segue into Sometimes She Cries.<BR/><BR/>So thanks. Thanks a goddamn bunch.Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16714549.post-27899758681329714212008-01-21T14:38:00.000-08:002008-01-21T14:38:00.000-08:00Sue - What, quoting Warrant is nasty now? Hehe.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01067954787472463337noreply@blogger.com