It's too damn hard.
There are far too many expectations, arguments and theologies that one must live up to, be well-versed in and subscribe to. There are too many people telling you what to do, what not to do, what to believe, and what roles you are allowed to play.
A few of the things Christianity aims to control, which are designed to keep us righteous, pure, and holy:
How to dress
What to eat
How to parent
How to vote
Who to marry
How to spend money
What kind of music to listen to or movies to watch
What kinds of items to have/not have in the home
What kinds of books and magazines to can read
Who to be friends with
How to educate children
How many children to have
When and how and with whom to have sex
What to drink
What to buy
What businesses to boycott
Which version of the bible to read
When and how often to go to church
Which holidays to celebrate and how to celebrate them
What a person may or may not do with his/her own body
How a husband must treat a wife, and vice-versa
What kinds or words to use or not use
How to pray
How to worship
....
I'm sure there are a thousand more, but I'm exhausted just thinking about those 25 items that came off the top of my head. What's worse, there are far too many conflicting theories about those rules. Trying to keep track of it all is thoroughly mind-numbing.
Every one of those things is another nail in the coffin of our individuality. There is nothing holy in attempting to neuter the amazing variety God works so hard to create in us. Every time a baby is born into Christianity, the adults around the child almost immediately begin to take an eraser to him or her, hoping to clean up the any color that exists outside the lines.
Maybe I'm lazy, but the truth is, if I'm going to follow an ideology, it has to fully integrate into my life without requiring me to bend and stretch at every turn in order to conform to it's demands. It must be comfortable with who I am, and be able to grow with me, without insisting I grow in any certain direction.
I believe it is really this simple: love and be present with the people I am around, and give what I can.
Someone once asked me if I could stop talking so much about what I'm against, and talk instead about what I'm for.
I'm FOR feeding hungry kids (physically/emotionally)
I'm FOR doing what I can to make people's lives better
I'm FOR teaching my kids to think critically for themselves
I'm FOR allowing people to choose how to live their lives
I'm FOR generosity
I'm FOR peace
I'm FOR grace, hope and love.
If you have any questions about what I'm against, simply read the last 5 years of this blog.
(Feel free to add to my list of "controls"!)
I really love your list, and while I am sure there are people are Christians who do not subject themselves to that list or similar ones, it was never my experience to feel that freedom. And not that I could improve upon your list, but my list would include being able to think for myself and come to my own conclusions, without hearing something to the effect, "You can't believe that, because..." Makes me want to cry, seriously.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Like I said, that was only the first 25 things that came to mind...there are sooo many others. Being able to think for yourself is a huge one! Feel free to add more...
ReplyDeleteI never felt that freedom, either...not until I had cut the ties. I always heard about freedom, but never really saw it in action, and every time I tested the waters, I was shot down.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
ReplyDelete29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Love your blog Erin
Nestus & Erin....
ReplyDeleteI love the Message version of that passage in Matthew. :-)
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
I love the 'unforced rhythms of grace'....
Nestus - Yes. I am thinking it is possible to follow Christ without the baggage.
ReplyDeleteKatherine - Beautiful! The 'unforced rhythms of grace'!
ReplyDeleteAh, the unforced rhythms of grace, yeah :) I'm for those, to.
ReplyDeleteI'm also for being able to love God, as you perceive him/her at any particular stage in your journey, without needing to adhere to what the current consensus of God is
I completely agree, Sue. No current consensus for me!
ReplyDeleteSo funny, that verse came to my mind also before I even read the comments. I love that version. I have found that to be true...when I just come to God, and not all of the other stuff that religion "offers," somehow I am refreshed and able to see clearly what's important. I have no idea how that works or how to explain it, and I am sure it's different for everyone.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to totally agree with your 25 that come to mind...even more. I think also, there is so much to "DO." So many events to attend, so many services you are expected to be at, etc...Those are the things that really wear me out, and when I'm not there, people think something is wrong. Nope. Just get exhausted by all of the running around.
Well, of course, Kari! If you don't attend every possible event, you are falling away, you know.
ReplyDeleteSarcasm aside, I completely get that. Years ago, we actually quit going to my husband's family church for precisely that reason...no matter what we did, it was never enough. There was always something we missed that we should have been at. Every day of the week, and at least 3 things on Sunday.
But even in a "normal" congregation, you are expected to be there every Sunday...and I've never understood that. What's wrong with missing a week? I mean, I get the theory - commitment and all that, but seriously? It's a sin to sleep in? Or go on vacation? Or to be sick?