The religious system is broken. It's not my fault, and you can't fault me for leaving it. It's not a little bit broken, and it's not due to just a few "bad apples". It's deep-down-all-the-way-to-the-bone-broken.
We have a Pope that not only fails to resolve terrifying reports of child molestation in his church -- he also thinks that ordaining women to the priesthood is as evil as child molestation, he believes atheists are similar to Nazis, and he doesn't believe we should use condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS because they are a form of contraception, and contraception is a sin.
We have dozens of pastors who have fallen into illicit sex or drug use, primarily due to the pressures of modern evangelical Christian leadership.
We have a system that looks so completely unlike anything Jesus ever intended (read the New Testament) that it is entirely self-serving, self-supporting, and self-righteous. Unloving, unpeaceful, and ungracious.
I could go on, but I won't.
Sigh. Is it really that difficult to understand why some of us want nothing to do with the church anymore?
Sadly, most of those still in the institutional church are selectively blind to its faults and failings, and will defend it well past the point of logic or reason.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, it's true. There is nothing on earth people are so illogically committed to than religion.
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ReplyDeleteSad, but true. I think that most who are irrational about defending doctrine do so out of fear. If their doctrine is wrong, their whole internal paradigm must shift (NOT a lot of fun, I know). Their world revolves around their doctrine being right. They're afraid if they let even a little doubt creep in, their world will spin apart. And they're right. They just can't see enough to know that's a good thing. We never can until we're on the other side of it.
ReplyDeleteBreaking rank with the "church" is one of the scariest things someone steeped in the religious doctrine from birth can ever do. It is also one of the most rewarding and freeing things... and I think it is where anyone who is pursuing God and/or Truth will eventually find themselves.
'Breaking rank with the "church" is one of the scariest things someone steeped in the religious doctrine from birth can ever do.'
ReplyDeleteIt's scary, true. Not as scary as going through the process of leaving the faith altogether. The indoctrinated ideas of hell and judgment take a long time to leave you even after you've stopped believing in God.
Very true...
ReplyDeleteAnd Barry, for me it's the other way around. The hell and judgement part have been easy to get rid of once I have realized a different understanding of God.
Katherine - "Their world revolves around their doctrine being right. They're afraid if they let even a little doubt creep in, their world will spin apart. And they're right. They just can't see enough to know that's a good thing. We never can until we're on the other side of it."
ReplyDeleteYes.
And it's so interesting how when we are in that place on the other side of it, it seems so strange that we were ever "over there".
Barry - I have left behind the fear and the ideas of heaven and judgment without leaving the faith. And even so, they are very challenging to get over, because there is always that tiny doubt; "what if I'm wrong and I'm going to burn in hell"...thank God then my logic kicks in and I realize how ridiculous that is.
ReplyDeleteRainer - In some ways that has been true for me, as well...even though my previous comment might indicate otherwise :) ...shifting that belief allows one to (eventually) completely dismantle all the old ideas about who God really is.
ReplyDeleteYup, it's the same for me. Irrational fears are best conquered with logic.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Although maybe some would say any faith at all is illogical...I think there are definitely varying degrees of logic (or lack thereof) within the faith systems...and for me, if it doesn't make sense, I can't believe it...excepting the fact that I do still believe in a power greater than human beings. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd, yet, even that is debatable on some levels...
Erin, I totally agree that the religious system is broken. I have no idea if it ever was NOT broken. I know there are so many examples in religious history of horror and inexcusable behavior, beliefs formed to fit people's agendas, to further themselves at the cost of innocents.
ReplyDeleteAs I read your post, I could not help but compare the religious system to myself, and my own errors and pride and stubborn-ness. I lose my temper and say things I don't mean. I have done mean things on purpose! I guess one of the biggest pulls for me, towards Christianity, is the idea of God's grace. One of the worst things religion has done (in my opinion) is to put preachers and popes and church leadership up on this throne and treat them as Gods, then we are so disappointed when they fail so miserably. Maybe they start to believe they are invincible too, and that they don't have to follow the same rules, lose all humility, and become numb to their own consciences?
Wow. For me, this is a HUGE conversation. I've struggled with this in my own life for so long. The only conclusion can come to, is that it is just imperfect. We are all imperfect. Some things are not at all excusable. If I ever came face to face with a child molester, and I knew what he/she had done, I would likely do everything in my strength to kill him/her. I just would.
I must admit, in response to the comments, that at this moment, my faith is certainly a choice, not based on any logic or rational explanation. It's been hard to find a faith community of people who believe and yet admit that they struggle with believing at the same time.
You know, Kari, you said something that really got me to thinking. You said the system has always been broken. Yes.
ReplyDeleteBut then, I have to look at myself and wonder what was it in me that allowed me not to see that it was broken during the times when I was so enraptured with it? What was different about me "then"?
Erin -
ReplyDeleteI think what was different about you was that you were mixed in with the irrational thinking that seems to prevail the "it's all worth it" idea of churches. When you're winning souls for heaven, and subsequently stealing souls from the devil, the means seem to justify the end. The actual crusades are, thankfully, behind us -- at least Christianity's version -- but the "soldiers for Christ" thought process still marches on.
That is probably some of it, Michele. But I think for me it was primarily something else. I never really gave a hoot about evangelism...
ReplyDeleteI think it was two things...one, because I grew up in it, it just seemed like the thing to do. Two, at least during the last five years before I left, I was severely depressed and lonely as a stay home mom of two toddlers...and I was desperate for friendships and acceptance. I was willing to overlook the unhealthy aspects of church in order to find a place to "fit in"...if that makes any sense.
Erin, those are the 2 areas that hit me the hardest also...I grew up in it, and right now I AM a lonely mother of 2 preschoolers. I know personally, christianity was presented to me in a completely different light than I see it now. It was never presented to me as something broken, but always as something perfect. I think that draws people in, people who are depressed, and looking for some hope, something good. We are taught that perfect is good. But...is it? It was also presented to me as something to be afraid of if I "did it" wrong. So, when you are enmeshed in this belief that christianity is somehow perfect, and that is what you are supposed to strive to be, and if you fail, it's hell for you!!! ...well, there MUST be a lot of cover-ups going on. Who could live up to that? We all have to lie to fit the mold we are being taught to fit into.
ReplyDeleteI just keep thinking about Adam and Eve...and the supposed start of humanity, and our relationship with God. There were no religious leaders...hell, there weren't even clothes! It was just man and God. Man enjoyed creation, that was, the way I see it, their main form of worship, was to enjoy the garden. Maybe it's as simple as that?
In answer to your last question, Kari, I think so. I believe it really can be that simple.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, the deeper I got into Christianity, thee more depressed I was...for just what you mention - needing to feel like I was doing it right, and no one can EVER do it RIGHT. I could never lived up to the expectations, and it's the institution that inflicts these unreasonable expectations - not God.
And in my experience, it's even harder when you have small kids...the pressure to be super mom AND superchristian is almost unbearable. The best thing I can say about that is to know who you answer to (and that is different for everyone). No one is completely autonomous, but really, we don't have to be who all those "leaders" say we have to be.
Erin... "we don't have to be who all those "leaders" say we have to be."
ReplyDeleteTHank God!!! :-D
Really! ;)
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