Puppies and Other Joys

My mom's dog, Ruby, had puppies three weeks ago. Ruby is an English Springer Spaniel, and she is beautiful; show quality and from champion lines. The puppies' father is also a champion, and they were bred on purpose. 

Ruby had eight puppies - but we are refraining from calling her "Octomom". They are the most beautiful, most precious things I can imagine, other than a human baby, of course. 

I have had the unique privilege of spending a great deal of time with them, and I hope to be able to bring one home with me in about five weeks. That is still debatable, as things are right now, the expense of owning a new puppy is something we might not be able to manage. We'll see. 

These are house-puppies, that is, they were not born, nor are they being raised, in a kennel. They are securely housed in my parents' kitchen. These pups are being held a lot, as there is no shortage of hands to cuddle them. My parents have had as many as 15 visitors in a single day, and have had some visitors every day. My boys have played a huge role in the endeavor to hold them all every day. 

They are special in the way they are being loved on and cared for, and by the way their mother is loved. 

This has been a healing, energizing experience for me. This summer has been difficult and I have dealt with overwhelming anxiety like never before. In fact, anxiety has never been a problem for me until now. I have lost sleep, I have been angry and stressed, even to the point of not being able to be a good host to guests. 

I have had to make the difficult decision not to return to school this year. The timing isn't right. It was hard because the program I was to start this fall is restricted entry and I had been one of 32 applicants selected from a pool of over 100. I did not want to give that up, but it just wasn't going to happen this year. Our finances are in a jumble due to some changes in our income, and I need to be helping out with that rather than adding to our debt. 

However, I have no college degree, and I haven't worked in over 14 years. I have lots of skills, none verifiable. I can't even tell a prospective employer how to contact my last supervisor, as she is not at that job anymore. In this job market, I'm hard pressed not to be tossed into the trash can, much less actually be interviewed or receive a job offer. 

All that said, there is nothing more soothing to the soul (OK that's a dramatization, because there are many things soothing to the soul, but this is a big one for me) than squirming, squeaking puppies. 

I've watched them begin to scoot/walk on wobbly legs. I've watched their eyes peek open. I've watched them learn to bark, growl and wag their tails. All in three weeks. Over the next five weeks we will watch them learn to play, learn to relieve themselves in the grass, learn to eat kibble. We will see their personalities emerge and develop, see them begin to reveal shadows of the adult dogs they will become.

All in eight weeks. 

And I thought watching my kids grow up went by fast!

Then, we will see most of them go off to relatively unknown homes. My mom is keeping one. Ruby's co-owner will be keeping one, and hopefully I'll keep one. The other five will wander away with carefully screened owners. Hopefully they will go to homes where they will be loved and nurtured and live to a ripe old age. Hopefully we will have a chance to see most of them from time to time, although probably a couple of them will move a state or two away.

This is a good lesson for me in parenting, in letting go, in releasing my grip on my own children as they test the boundaries of their freedom and look toward a future where mom and dad are no longer the center of the universe.