4.27.2010

Embrace Change

Five years ago, I had certain expectations about life, love, parenting, faith and friendships. I naively expected things to remain the same, indefinitely. Back then I didn't even own blueprints for what life would look like today.

Life dictates that we expect the unexpected. Plan for the future, sure...have specific expectations for the future, not so much. Life could be boring, safe, simple...and I'm sure it is for some people. But for most of us, there are twists and turns, sorrow and joy, peace and conflict, safety and insecurity. Keeps us on our toes, keeps it interesting.

Learning to adapt to changes in life is half the fun. Fun. Yes, FUN. It's ugly, messy, angry, painful, frustrating. And we adapt. However, not becoming bitter and cynical in that adaptation is really where it's at. It's far easier to be angry, to point out faults, be self-righteous, to say "it's not fair!" when things don't go the way we expect them to, than it is to say "I'll adapt, I choose to embrace the change". Yes, it's more challenging, but more rewarding in the end than harboring bitterness. Bitterness just makes us old.

Certainly there are different types of change. Some changes come at us entirely unexpectedly and knock the wind out of us, devastating what we thought was the future. Others can be seen as opportunity if looked at the right way. Sometimes it takes awhile to learn to breathe again, sometimes it's a breath of fresh air. I understand that, and I'm not suggesting that letting go of expectations and embracing change is always easy. In fact, it usually takes concentrated effort.

However, holding tight to our expectations can seriously retard our ability to enjoy life. Instead we can choose to be fluid, to move with the future, and to embrace the changes. Of course, as many expectations as I've learned to move in harmony with, there are still some where I struggle to find peace. I am trying to recognize and improve upon those things.

Right now, the change I'm embracing is parenting a teenager. Anyone who has had one knows what that change means. Learning to let go, knowing I cannot retain the same level of control as I used to have. Making room in my life for the man he is becoming while still allowing him to be a child when he wants to. This is a change I have known was coming for so very long, so it is not unexpected, and it is an opportunity to examine the way I relate to this person. He is an individual now, no longer simply an extension of me, and I have to respect him.

But this change is only one area of life that has moved away from my expectations. Still, some of those changes are exciting, not always a struggle. And some of them produce stress, worry and fear.

The world is always shifting under our feet, and sometimes we have to dance to remain standing. But joy is found in the learning, if we dare.

What change are you embracing?

8 comments:

  1. I feel on the cusp of a lot. A teen in the house, two more a year away from the "teen" suffix in their age. Possible change in direction in career. An interesting educational opportunity coming up. Lots to be worried about. Lots to be excited about. Lots of baggage I am still sorting through, trying to figure out if I still want to carry it or not.

    I hope I can be positive toward it all, and not "Hey! Get off my lawn!" We'll see.

    Good post, Erin.
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  2. Oh, it was good to read this. It's so good to be able to lean on others like you through your words, get strength from them.

    What change am I embracing? Well, at the moment, apart from starting to work from home and also entering into a new relationship all in the last six weeks, I have also come round the mountain once more back to issues of gender and patriarchy and religion and women. Back to where I have been sitting for the last several years and just ... it amazes me how we go away, come back, go away, come back, to the same sorts of things, and the same space but nowhere near the same space. This time for me it is a real deep and strong seeing of the ways I have taken those external cultural voices into myself and used them to silence myself. Me, the bigmouth opinionated one, is also so terrified and scared of not being the good cultural girl, of letting down the big cultural daddies, whatever they may be. I recognise that in myself as an old, old thing and I am watching with delight and some sort of miraculous amazement as slowly those things are being dismantled for good.

    But oh, the process in-between. Of sitting on air, on uncertainty. That's why this post was so good to read this morning for me. Thanks, Erin!!! :)
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  3. Great post Erin! I'm currently embracing the change with my son and possibly my daughter too. I've learned a lot this past year as you know, and I've gone thru the whole spectrum of the grieving process. I'm now on the other side and I can safely say that looking back at this growth process, God had my back each agonizing step of the way. I can also say I'm a better human being and have been blessed to have this experience. I tend to be a complete butt in the face of those who don't understand and am dedicated to raising awareness. A year ago, I would've never thought I'd be where I am today. Life is truly a growing process isn't it?
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  4. Fortunately I'll just have one teenager for 2.5 more years. Then there will be two and one will be driving. Gah!

    Some days I just have to stop and take a deep breath and think "OK what does any of this really mean for my life? Is it bad or good or uncertain?" Because I still find myself panicking about things that aren't really panic-worthy...just different.
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  5. Sue - you are a busy girl! Change comes all at once for you, and I'm always hoping that you are moving on to better things. Aren't you planning a move, too? Or is that on hold now?

    I know you and I could have a colorful rant about the patriarchal thing....boy does it burn me some days.
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  6. Cindi - You are facing something that is uncharted for most of us in the parenting realm. I can only say I understand because of my brother...but it's not the same as raising a child with aspergers.

    I applaud your efforts to raise awareness and wish you all the peace and patience you need.
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  7. I am saving this post! This is perfect timing for where I am at today, this second. This is the perspective I want and need to keep being reminded of it constantly. Life is not at all how I imagined it would be and I am grieving some of my pre-conceived of ideas I had for my life and my son's. Good stuff as always, thank you!
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  8. Barbara - It's not always easy to let go and face that things haven't turned out how we thought they would...but in the end if we can't do anything to change how things are, we have to adapt.

    Still, some things are harder to work through than others...and I think the things you have dealt with are some of those things. So don't be afraid to grieve.
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