PCXmas

I saw this cartoon the other day:

Each year our Christmas is downgraded from the year before, by choice. When my kids were small, they were showered with a million gifts, most of which they only played with a few times. It took me awhile, but eventually I realized the ridiculousness of it all. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite; we haven't done away with Christmas altogether, but we are spending far less than ever before, and buying fewer gifts than ever before. In my immediate family, we have purchased one significant "family" gift, from a locally-owned merchant. There will be a few other things, but not much.

I read a lot these days about the importance of buying fair-trade, local or "green" gifts. There is an ever-growing marked for these types of items, and many people are capitalizing on it. Especially here in Portland. I understand and respect the sentiment, and consider this a much improved plan over the Black Friday Wal-mart run. But I tend to wonder if the problem isn't really the quality of gifts we give, but the quantity?

My family was together not too long ago, and my siblings and I discussed the fact that none of us really need anything from each other, and buying for each other is just playing into the consumeristic frenzy that dictates that we must give a gift of some kind, whether it be from Wal-mart or the local Artists market, to everyone we love, lest they feel un-loved. This decision not to buy for siblings and spouses/s.o.'s eliminated the purchasing a total of of as many as 24 unnecessary gifts among us in my family alone. Carry this over to my husband's family and it becomes 34.

I'm not suggesting this is a good-fit answer for everyone. However, I do wonder if most of us give "token" gifts to many people we don't really need to exchange gifts with. Consider exchanging gifts of time or service instead, and minimize the way you play into the expectations of the season. Consider baking or buying gifts of local produce. Certainly give thought to the origin of what you give. However, I'm not naive; I realize that small children often have a heart's desire that is some toy made by a major manufacturer. I'm not suggesting we give them oranges instead. My thoughts on this apply more to adults than to children. If you do feel you want to give to everyone you can, certainly work to give one of the good-five types of gifts: local, fair-trade, green, homemade, or service/time.

I realize there are people in our lives who truly have needs that we might have the opportunity to fill. You know who they are, and I'm not suggesting you eliminate those people from your gift-giving list; just to be clear.

As well, I'm not trying to be a hypocrite. We are buying a few things. However, we have reduced our buying frenzy by about 75%, and the emotional, mental, and financial impact is tremendous. And seriously, nothing is really lost in the relationships with people we aren't buying for anymore, even though that is often a great fear.

One aspect of this that can be difficult to resolve is the non-agreement by the other party. In other words, if you decide only to give gifts to the children, but other adults insist they must buy for everyone, it can be complicated. My best advice is to discuss it far in advance, and if there is no consensus, decide for yourself if it is better for you not to buy for those who insist on buying for you, or to give in to maintain familial peace and harmony. Only you can be the best judge of this, however I would suggest sticking to whatever is best for your conscience, if at all possible.

What do you think?