I was bored, so...

A month ago I never would have thought I'd be saying to my kids, "Not now, mommy has homework". But there it is.

The relay is over, the kids are in school, and I haven't known what to do with myself. I've been, well, bored.

So I thought, "I know, I'll go to college!"

Well, considering I have a family and we are not wealthy, going to college is going to be a one-step-at-a-time process. But this term, I'm going to school; who knows what winter will bring. I don't have even an undergrad degree at this point, so I'm starting from scratch. I did go to college one year, but that was almost 20 years ago, and apparently that doesn't count for anything today. ;)

So off I go. I am easing into it, I'm only taking 8 credits this term, mostly because I got into it too late to get any financial aid this term, so I'm taking what we can pay for. Also, and more importantly, I'm still uncertain how well this will fit into my life.

A degree has always been my dream. I'm a brain and I feel wasteful if I don't use it. Not that all these years of raising kids has been a waste, because anyone who has done it will tell you that it requires as much smarts as anything. However, they are both older, don't need me as much, and so I have three choices. I can knock around the house all day, make coffee dates, watch TV and surf the internet (which is boring as hell if you do enough of it). I can go get a job, but considering I've been out of the workforce for 13 years, have no degree, and no verifiable skills other than childcare, my options are limited. Or, I can try to move forward.

Who knows where this will go. I'd love to tell you that I have it all mapped out, but seeing as how I don't even know if I will be going from one term to the next, it's all uncertain. But the worst that will happen is I won't be able to follow through, but I will at least have some credits toward something in the future.

As well, we will have children entering college in a few years, and if I can complete my education and be reasonably employable by that time, the two incomes won't be a bad thing. I have been going around in my head with the idea for several years, but it was only a pipe dream until about three weeks ago. Then, I decided, why not TRY?

So then what to study? I have had to think carefully about whether to take on a field where I can be employable in two years, probably something in medical assisting or such. But I don't really want to do that, even if almost everything in medical fields is a great job market around here. Especially elder care. But I don't really want to do that, either.

So then, do I spend time studying something that is easily employable, but that I won't enjoy? Why? I could do something I don't enjoy right now. I'd bet you money Wal-mart would hire me tomorrow. Maybe it's a rite of adulthood that one must work in whatever field makes the money, regardless of whether one likes it or not. I get that and I can do that. But why should I spend money on an education learning to do something that will make me miserable in 5 years? There's no point in that.

What should I study? Well, I have known all my life what that should be, but it's not a high-paying field. At least not at the bachelor's level. It's what I wanted to study when I went to college the first time, but every one told me there was no money in it. Therefore I didn't study it. I am still not clear on the specifics, because there are several directions I could go. This year will be a chance to take some general ed, and explore the possibilities.

I want to go into counseling. I am not sure what kind of counseling. I would really like to work with kids and families. I don't know if I will go the psychology route or the social work route. I'm hoping to begin a two year course of study next fall at the community college where I'm attending. Three years from now I could be a university, working to complete my degree.

There is no telling where this is leading; all the plans could change. I could decide study history (not inconceivable but not very employable) english/writing (definitely conceivable but not very employable) or chemistry major (doubt it) or I could fail entirely. Who knows?

But I'm really excited to find out.

Call me nuts, but my inspiration has been a good friend of mine, who is my age. She began college maybe 7 years ago, and is now working to complete her doctoral studies in chemistry. If she can do it , why can't I?

Fortunately everyone I know is supportive, and no one thinks I'm as ridiculous as I feel. We do worry about the financial aspect of it, so there are a lot of bridges to be crossed in that area before I begin full time. Because I'm starting so late in life I don't want to, and really can't, be burdened with a ton of debt at the end. My own kids will be going to college soon., and I have that to think about So it will only work with sufficient scholarships and grants.

Anyhow, that's what's new with me. What's up with you?