Anyone care to speculate what has happened to us? While I know many neighborhoods in the intangible world are thriving, it seems mine has become nearly a ghost town. Many people aren't posting, many people aren't commenting. Some people are closing their blogs or signing off permanently.
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Whatever this virus is, I have it too. Is there an antidote for thoroughly-bored-of-hearing-myself-speak? Nate says I will be here for a looong time. I would like to think so, but if the last few months are any indication, I have my doubts.
No matter, what's done is done. It's highly indicative of the world today. Times they are a-changing. Many of us don't have the luxury of spending as many hours composing blog posts as we did a year ago. We have more on our minds, more to worry about in the future, and more real life to deal with. The change in the economy is much like when Ben Linus turned the wheel in the Orchid Station on 'Lost'; there is no way to project the repercussions, they are far-reaching and unpredictable.
Much of my out-loud processing is being done in the presence of Rosalie, my Spiritual Director, these days; for I need to be challenged, to be asked pointed questions, and to be coaxed through the birth canal of my spiritual stuck-ness. She brings out the dreams in me, but also the hindrances to those dreams. I often awake sensing a new aroma on the wind, something my nose tries to follow, and I move closer each day, but so far not reaching it's source. It's something calling me out; picture Mark Metcalf screaming "Whadya wanna do with your life?" Um...
There is still fire in our bellies, no doubt. I hear it in the conversations I have with my online "neighbors", see it in the actions they take and the struggles they face. This change in our spiritual DNA isn't always easy to endure, and requires a retreating into ourselves from time to time, absorbing our new ideas and getting to know our new body. One day, again, we will surface for air and see a new frontier yet again, stretching out beyond where we presently stand, and we will walk, again measuring out territory.
Well, I have been below the surface for some months now, processing some new and newly revealed situations in my life and working at turning my head toward the future and away from the past. Somewhere out there is my new territory.
In case you wondered, I do have some ideas about where that new territory may lie and how I might find it. Stay tuned, this post is already too long, and so I must divide it.
Be encouraged, there is hope on the horizon.
Promise of a New Day I
Promise of a New Day II
Promise of a New Day III
Promise of a New Day IV
Promise of a New Day V
Promise of a New Day: Epilogue
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Whatever this virus is, I have it too. Is there an antidote for thoroughly-bored-of-hearing-myself-speak? Nate says I will be here for a looong time. I would like to think so, but if the last few months are any indication, I have my doubts.
No matter, what's done is done. It's highly indicative of the world today. Times they are a-changing. Many of us don't have the luxury of spending as many hours composing blog posts as we did a year ago. We have more on our minds, more to worry about in the future, and more real life to deal with. The change in the economy is much like when Ben Linus turned the wheel in the Orchid Station on 'Lost'; there is no way to project the repercussions, they are far-reaching and unpredictable.
Much of my out-loud processing is being done in the presence of Rosalie, my Spiritual Director, these days; for I need to be challenged, to be asked pointed questions, and to be coaxed through the birth canal of my spiritual stuck-ness. She brings out the dreams in me, but also the hindrances to those dreams. I often awake sensing a new aroma on the wind, something my nose tries to follow, and I move closer each day, but so far not reaching it's source. It's something calling me out; picture Mark Metcalf screaming "Whadya wanna do with your life?" Um...
There is still fire in our bellies, no doubt. I hear it in the conversations I have with my online "neighbors", see it in the actions they take and the struggles they face. This change in our spiritual DNA isn't always easy to endure, and requires a retreating into ourselves from time to time, absorbing our new ideas and getting to know our new body. One day, again, we will surface for air and see a new frontier yet again, stretching out beyond where we presently stand, and we will walk, again measuring out territory.
Well, I have been below the surface for some months now, processing some new and newly revealed situations in my life and working at turning my head toward the future and away from the past. Somewhere out there is my new territory.
In case you wondered, I do have some ideas about where that new territory may lie and how I might find it. Stay tuned, this post is already too long, and so I must divide it.
Be encouraged, there is hope on the horizon.
Promise of a New Day I
Promise of a New Day II
Promise of a New Day III
Promise of a New Day IV
Promise of a New Day V
Promise of a New Day: Epilogue
37 comments:
Good morning, Erin! It does seem strange how so many of us stopped posting quite as much this winter, doesn't it? To everything there is a season, I guess - but I hope it's a season that comes around again. So many in our online community spoke so much truth and hope into my life last year, and it was such a blessing.
For me, not posting so much has been a combination of things - lack of time, writer's block, and sometimes just not having anything to say. I've got 1/2 dozen unfinished posts that I want to finish; hoping to find time this weekend for at least one of them. I miss writing - so often I figure out what I'm thinking as I say it - but something had to go, at least for awhile. Hopefully *just* for awhile, though. :)
I'm so glad for Rosalie being a part of your life - it is so sweet the way God brings people into our lives at just the right times and seasons. I am excited to hear some of those dreams you have, when you're ready to write about them. :) I'll bet they're amazing.
i'm right there too, as you know! wondering...
I've noticed the same thing -- and part of me is glad to see fewer posts in my reader because I don't have time to read them, though I do feel like I'm missing time with friends. I find some of my processing is happening elsewhere, too -- though I'm still hoping to find my Rosalie. Like you, I've been sensing the need to leave behind that constant preoccupation with the past and what has been lost, to pick up old dreams, etc. I hope the conversation can continue in some form as we move forward... I appreciate your voice.
Erin -
I have come so close to witting a post like this myself so many times.
Maybe the cowboys are out on that lonely range with only cows for company, but they will eventually return to the camp and tell swap stories.
I think we just get tired of doing things sometimes. So if it is no longer something that we are passionate about, it falls by the wayside.
Of course, real life comes along and trumps our online community sometimes.
Sometimes the dreams we write about here start to happen and we don't feel like we have to write it anymore.
Sometimes we come up with some wonderful dreams that we give up on and fall into some default existence. Our passion is pushed down to manageable levels, and we plod through life feeling we have little to write about. If that is the case, we need some some cowboys to come along and stir things up a bit.
For myself, I've not been posting for various reasons - "real life" stuff getting in the way, spending more time doing physical exercise (dancing, mountain biking) and generally feeling that I don't have anything else to say that's worth blogging about at the moment. I'm sure the latter will change at some point, but it's where I am right now.
I've felt the same a lot over the past few months. Seriously thought about ditching my blog a few times. But for me it's been more health related and emotional related than anything else. I have definitely noticed a dearth of blogging going on up your way. It's noticeably different than it was last year. Very strange.
I can relate. I post surface stuff to keep LCR and WFTIO blogs alive, but PD has just about died.
You got it right when you said there's serious real life stuff to deal with. I miss the days when there wasn't!!!!
I think about you every day.
I guess there's always seasons to things, isn't there? Like, we sort of expect that everything should go on for years and years or else there's something wrong. Still, it makes me sad though that the blogosphere doesn't feel quite as vibrant as it did. I like blogging! :)
I enjoy the medium, despite all of its restrictions, and sometimes because of its restrictions.
I wonder about the economic "crisis". Yes, some people are really struggling but when it comes down to it we are still the richest people in the world. Even the poorest of us has leisure time. Most of us aren't going to die of dysentery or starvation or diarrhea related water issues anytime soon. I wonder (just thinking out loud, Erin, not disputing what you're saying), whether it's a spiritual thing? It feels like a big giant depression is clouding everyone much more than a year ago. I wonder about that. I think about how none of us is going to go to bed starving tonight and yet we are all so goddamn miserable. I was looking at people in the street yesterday here in Australia thinking, "My God. You all look like you've been given a terminal illness diagnosis." Weird. It feels very heavy. I will be interested to see what the changes are in, say, a year's time.
Happy - I think it's true of everyone, busy and/or nothing to say.
I'm thrilled for those who have been posting less because they have new and wonderful things going on, like you.
Hang in there, Cindy. I think things are just percolating for some of us.
Thanks Maria. I'm missing the interaction, too, but we can't force what isn't burning in us, at least without seeming artificial about it. I think things will pick up around here again, in time.
I suppose, Glenn, maybe there is a separating the wheat from the chaff season. Like, so many of us have been trying to sort out so many things and maybe we can't always take on all the things we want to, so we have to search out those things that we are truly passionate about.
But then again, maybe we do also need some new stirring up.
In some ways that is where I am right now, too. I'm training now, and that can take up to 4 hours a day on heavy days. I have also had a strong sense of the "nothings"...nothing to say worth writing about.
Then there is always that "real life" stuff. Some seasons are better than others, some are more difficult. I know a lot of people who have been in a difficult season lately.
Don't ditch your blog, Sue. I'd miss you! But I know how it is. Once or twice it has crossed my mind that maybe I'm done. But I'm gonna push through because I know deep down I'm NOT done, just in a lull.
And so if we don't have anything else to talk about, at least we can talk about not having anything to talk about! There's some reverse psychology, or something!
Barbara - it takes emotional energy to write, to blog. Sometimes what is going on in our lives, our homes, our jobs, drains us of that emotional energy we would normally use to write. I do think we have to make our lives a priority, because we have to live in them.
I know what you're saying about poverty, Sue. Thing is, I think that while what you say is true, there is the angle that when we are accustomed to a certain standard and are now unable to maintain it, there is a shifting, a groaning that goes on while we recalibrate our lives. This can be very emotional, I've watched people close to me go through it. It takes time to gain that appreciation for a home, food and good health, even if the other things have to be let go of. We grieve losing the things we are used to, as selfish as it may be.
But the shifting does eventually happen, and I think a lot of people are abandoning the life of excess and extravagance, the "live as well as we can" for a life of "live comfortably and give the rest away." I'm looking forward to seeing it, too.
I can relate. Change is in the air for a lot of people. I look forward to hearing what you've been thinking.
Mary - Thanks. like change. It takes getting used to, but I do think things are changing in a lot of ways, and many are changes I'm thankful for.
"Is there an antidote for thoroughly-bored-of-hearing-myself-speak?"
Yes, there is. It's called "narcissism." That's what keeps me going. :) Maybe give that a try and see if it helps... {takes tongue out of cheek}
I do find it odd that so many in this makeshift community are feeling the same way...either getting busy with real life, or sometimes in a fog. And it isn't just in blogland; so many people around me are in the throes of transition, uncertain and insecure because of the inevitable change happening around them.
At times like these, I find it works best to hold everything loosely, to see where things land before making final decisions about them. And I think blogging is a part of that. So maybe we don't shut our blog down, but we don't post as frequently. Like so many others have already said here...it cycles. Heck, I'm even slowing things down a bit--I don't always post every day anymore. What's wrong with me???? ;)
Looking forward to what the new day brings to this blog...
The shifting and the groaning. Yes, it does definitely involve those things in transition, doesn't it. (Like birth?) That is such a good description of it. I feel like I can feel an entire country's groaning sometimes. It also feels like there is greater measure of freedom on the other side.
I'm glad you're not ditching your blog either :)
(My friend also reminded me yesterday that the financial downturn has hit the States far harder than it's hit Australia, at least at the moment. So I need to remember that when talking about this stuff too).
The real life bullshit sooo gets in the way. I have not been posting as much and what I have been has sometimes been pretty harsh but yet, I'll get through it the same as I always do and eventually, I'll get back on track.
Lately, I have disliked my life so much that it was totally not worth sharing and that's a lot of the reason I've been missing.
I'm not going to shut down my blogs but my time is limited
Hey sweetie, not gone, just not posting anymore.
The season that had us posting, searching, and learning from one another, was a special time. One that will be precious to me for the rest of my life. But now that we have come through that, we are being made whole from the inside, instead of needing to go and find that which will make us whole. It is a bit confusing. To have my own answers. But God has refined my faith enough that the answers are there now.
I have changed the tag line to my blog a few times. From the search to define my faith, to the belief that it would constantly change, to now the my faith is indeed defined. What a weird strange trip its been.
As with this, I will still be around. but in just a different way.
Isn't it strange, that whole phenomenon of so many people feeling like their faith collapsed around them, all at the same time.
Thank God for the internet. I don't think I would have got through it otherwise. To know there were other likeminded people out there, and that I wasn't going into complete and utter heretic land, it kept my faith intact in many ways.
I would like to think now that season has passed for so many people that we could all now share life with each other via our blogs.
Viva the changes in seasons :)
Sue had a very interesting comment, "Isn't it strange, that whole phenomenon of so many people feeling like their faith collapsed around them, all at the same time." That's certainly been my experience. I have no answers as to why that might be for others. For me, it was exposure to Brian McLaren's books and then other emerging and emergent thinkers.
Back to the subject of blogging though. This may be a sad commentary on my life, but most of my Christian community is online. I visit churches, but none regularly. That's part of why a friend and I are starting a Meaningful Faith Group.
I don't read as many blogs as I used to. I don't write quite as much as I used to either. A lot of it is the busyness of life. For a while a lot of it was disillusionment, and frankly, depression.
You said, "There is still fire in our bellies, no doubt. I hear it in the conversations I have with my online "neighbors", see it in the actions they take and the struggles they face." Indeed.
I look forward to hearing what the future will bring in your life. You are an intelligent and articulate voice of reason, compassion, and hope. May God's loving presence be apparent as you explore that new territory.
This excites me for you...said from your friend who loves change & new horizons!!!
I do think there is something cyclical about it, Jeff. I used to post every day...for 3 years I averaged a post per day, now it's less than once per week. But I think that's OK. I don't think we should post air just because we feel we should.
I agree that we just have to "hold on loosely, but don't let go"...which is what I'm trying to do.
I don't know about the US being harder hit than Australia, Sue...maybe. But yes, it's like a birth...everything is changing right now. It's a weird feeling.
Mike, you are dealing with some very real transitions right now, and I would expect your online presence would change, at least for awhile. Take your time, because while some things we need to process out loud, other things have to be sorted out more privately.
I get it, Nate, really I do. I used you as an example because the season has changed for you, and you're going with it. I'm proud of you for following that and not trying to keep a tight grip on something good when you're led to let go.
That said, I'm hoping you're around more often than not. Selfish, I know. :)
I would have gone mad if it wasn't for the internet, Sue. This is just a damned hard thing to get through alone, and thinking I was the only one was so very hard, until I found the "community". These relationships are so valuable to me.
LOL I love changes in seasons, especially when it's winter to spring!
Gary, I have enjoyed sharing this journey with you. So many of these relationships where someone "gets" where we're at makes the whole thing easier. I'm excited for your new venture and hope it becomes what you imagine. Most of my faith community is online too, and I hope maybe one day I'll be able to invest in something "real".
Donna - The way you embrace change inspires me! You are a blessing to so many people's lives.
33 comments is a lot! So much for that assumption...
And so...what are your thoughts??
Thanks Beth, I'm pretty surprised, because there hasn't been that much traffic here lately. But then, I haven't been posting, so maybe that's it :)
I know there are millions of other spiritual bloggers out there whom I don't know...but it strikes me as odd that most of who I DO know have slowed down all at the same time. I wonder if we have just learned so much in the last few years that we have to take time to process it? That's what's up with me, anyhow.
Looking forward to reading your journey.
Welcome, PW. Read away!
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