I have been slow to continue this series for lack of time to write, but please bear with me...there are at least three more after this one. I am getting somewhere, but it's a long thought process.
Some people think the spiritual wanderlust I mentioned in the previous post can lead to dangerous places; there is that slippery slope everyone fears. However, it's how I choose to live...because I believe my faith must not become "THE way", not for me or for anyone else. Ever. I have been wandering for over four years, and I can promise you I have not fallen off the edge of Christianity. Of course, depending on your perspective, you may think I have. It could be that I'm simply deluded, but I would say Jesus is such a reality in my life that I doubt that; I have tried to shake him in the past, but he clings to me like spandex.
This wanderlust is the comfortable reality for me, but it comes with a problem. If I believe it is acceptable for myself to wander through the forests of changing beliefs, knowing I'll never have it ALL right, I have to believe that is true for everyone else, as well. I have to learn not to treat people as if my way is THE way. I need to never portray that I have all the mysteries of the Christian faith, or even some of them, solved. I have to choose to be open to my own future movement, with the unpleasant likelihood that I am wrong about some things. Many things even, at least as much as I believe others are wrong.
Jeff said recently that the Word is not a weapon to use against our brethren. I completely agree, but would take it one step further to add that our particular Christian methodology is not a weapon, either; any method by which we identify who is doing it "right" and who is not frustrates me. We're all in this together. The True "Way" is a Person, not any system we might create. Please know I realize I'm enormously guilty of this attitude.
Yes, there have been many issues I have had with how Christianity is traditionally "done". I'm not saying that all ways are equally acceptable; I'm saying that any ONE way is not THE way; neither my way nor any other way. Or focus is too often on beliefs or practices as a means of separating groups of Christians, and not often enough on the one thing that unifies them: Christ. As a generalization, all the various persuasions of Christians believe they are "doing it right"; that all other Christians ought to believe or practice as they do. This is the primary reason I reject labels; they are useless for anything other than to separate one from another. Separation leads to arguments, arguments to ugliness. All this bickering has led Christians to often have a bad name...for if we cannot even treat other Christians with grace, what use are we to the world?
I have even considered dropping the label of "Christian"; though I don't know what to adopt in it's place. and it feels uncomfortable to be label-free. And yet, the rejection of the traditional label could easily be considered a label unto itself; the label of 'rebel'?
Promise of a New Day I
Promise of a New Day II
Promise of a New Day III
Promise of a New Day IV
Promise of a New Day V
Promise of a New Day: Epilogue
Some people think the spiritual wanderlust I mentioned in the previous post can lead to dangerous places; there is that slippery slope everyone fears. However, it's how I choose to live...because I believe my faith must not become "THE way", not for me or for anyone else. Ever. I have been wandering for over four years, and I can promise you I have not fallen off the edge of Christianity. Of course, depending on your perspective, you may think I have. It could be that I'm simply deluded, but I would say Jesus is such a reality in my life that I doubt that; I have tried to shake him in the past, but he clings to me like spandex.
This wanderlust is the comfortable reality for me, but it comes with a problem. If I believe it is acceptable for myself to wander through the forests of changing beliefs, knowing I'll never have it ALL right, I have to believe that is true for everyone else, as well. I have to learn not to treat people as if my way is THE way. I need to never portray that I have all the mysteries of the Christian faith, or even some of them, solved. I have to choose to be open to my own future movement, with the unpleasant likelihood that I am wrong about some things. Many things even, at least as much as I believe others are wrong.
Jeff said recently that the Word is not a weapon to use against our brethren. I completely agree, but would take it one step further to add that our particular Christian methodology is not a weapon, either; any method by which we identify who is doing it "right" and who is not frustrates me. We're all in this together. The True "Way" is a Person, not any system we might create. Please know I realize I'm enormously guilty of this attitude.
Yes, there have been many issues I have had with how Christianity is traditionally "done". I'm not saying that all ways are equally acceptable; I'm saying that any ONE way is not THE way; neither my way nor any other way. Or focus is too often on beliefs or practices as a means of separating groups of Christians, and not often enough on the one thing that unifies them: Christ. As a generalization, all the various persuasions of Christians believe they are "doing it right"; that all other Christians ought to believe or practice as they do. This is the primary reason I reject labels; they are useless for anything other than to separate one from another. Separation leads to arguments, arguments to ugliness. All this bickering has led Christians to often have a bad name...for if we cannot even treat other Christians with grace, what use are we to the world?
I have even considered dropping the label of "Christian"; though I don't know what to adopt in it's place. and it feels uncomfortable to be label-free. And yet, the rejection of the traditional label could easily be considered a label unto itself; the label of 'rebel'?
Promise of a New Day I
Promise of a New Day II
Promise of a New Day III
Promise of a New Day IV
Promise of a New Day V
Promise of a New Day: Epilogue
29 comments:
heh heh heh, "he clings to me like spandex." My favorite line.
I hear you about the label thing, as I have a graduate degree from a seminary in christian counseling. For a while, I have completely bulldozed over the first word in that program when people ask, *almost* in an ashamed way.
Right on, Erin. :)
xo
Labels, labels, labels. yeah. I have such mixed emotions about them.
My recent post, "Do Labels Suck?" is one of five posts I've done on labels since March 13, expresses my own wrestling with this issue. There I said, "I am not trying to develop a label to wear on my forehead, so to speak....I am looking at trying to define who I am primarily for my own internal orientation, a point of reference. I am not trying to adopt a label off the shelf and make it mine. I am trying to take a shopworn label and apply my own meaning to it for my own reference."
Though we can try to be free of labels personally, and try to not label others, the world will label us, and the world will take any term we use, even if we coin a new one, and apply their own meaning to it. Most likely, they will say, "Oh, what she really means is that she's a progressive CHRISTIAN. Now I get it."
Could it be that the freedom we find from labels has to be internal, and then it won't matter as much what other people label us or how they misinterpret our words? I don't know. I'm not there yet, but I'm still actively wrestling.
In my last comment I said, “I am not trying to adopt a label off the shelf and make it mine. I am trying to take a shopworn label and apply my own meaning to it for my own reference.”
I think a better way of putting that would have been, I am not trying to fit myself into someone else’s definition of “Christian.” I am trying to take that word and figure out what it truly means to me, and then try to live it.
I am right there with where you are. The only thing that I have shed, that you have not mentioned YET, is the need to ACT. So many times we are told what we should be doing, and if we are not doing, we are not worthy. I don't DO. I just follow God, and be.
Great post, great comments. "He clings to me like spandex" is my fave line too :)
Oh, you know what? I think the way we all interpret the Bible is all part of some ingenious way that God has of dividing marrow from ... whatever it says in that verse, I can't remember (being a fellow heretic ;) I think all the ways are required, in the same way that a baby requires milk to drink.
It's just that the milk drinking babies have been the heads of the class, of the elaborate little dysfunctional deal that has come to be known as Christianity. But that is only the beginning, just as the resurrection is only the beginning.
I love this post. I love what you are seeing. I love what I am seeing. I love that Gary is hating labels. I love that Nate is sheeding the need to act every five minutes. I love what God is doing. Even though it is an awfully hard journey - so long and tedious and unbelievably painful - I am loving the glimpses along the way of ... oh, the beauty :) the freedom. All knees would bow at this sort of thing (as opposed to all dust being shook off the shoes at teh pathetic caricature that's been in its place. I salute it's death and only hope it's quick from here on out ;)
Wow, E, I miss the fact that you post less frequently your "fewer and farther between" posts have been killer! This is another great one. I also like what each of your commenter added.
I can't bear to bear a label right now. Its a weird feeling not being able to call myself anything. I think the longer I am unlabeled the more comfortable I become with just being a loving person rather than neurotically trying to figure it all out. That was driving me nuts.
Hi Stacy, great to see you!
About a week ago I asked on Facebook who was willing to accept the label of Christian without adding any modifiers (i.e. explaining what KIND of Christian they are)...got some interesting feedback. Right along the lines of what you said, sometimes we don't want to be identified as a Christian unless we can add something to it to clarify.
I'm going to be linking to you in the next post, Gary, so be warned. I love your recent talk about labels. I love what you said about internal orientation, and that has been much of the inspiration for this series.
I get what you're saying, and you're right that the world will label us...even other Christians will label us...whether we like it or not.
The second paragraph in your second comment here is exactly where I'm at, or trying to learn to be.
Nate, I too, am trying to shed that one. It's difficult because it's so ingrained in us that we ought to be doing something tangible (if not BIG) for God. But truly, I'm trying to be fair to my life and honestly assess just how I really am "doing" for God...but more average and mundane things than most Christians would prescribe.
Sue, I just have to say how much I appreciate your honesty in your journey...it inspires me every day.
I, too, love what God is doing. It seems he is turning the tables and doing that upside down thing he does where the weak become the strong and such. Maybe us yo-yos who are heretics and know nothing are finding a voice in Christianity...and that makes me excited to see the result.
So Barbara - if someone asked outright if "Are you a Christian", what would you say? (That's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer it.)
I ponder this question all the time...because I don't know how I would answer right now. Sometimes I think it would depend on if I knew the other person was a Christian or not - and that's really sad. And what if I didn't know if they were or not? This is the puzzle for me.
So living without a label does become more comfortable. That and like Gary says about labels being internally oriented.
Erin, I'm glad I stopped and read these posts.
Yeah. Labels and that unsettled feeling of perpetual movement. I actually told my therapist a while back that I didn't even want to be a "Christian" anymore. She got a shocked look on her face. But it's not about renouncing Christ. I don't think I could do that - I don't think I'm in a position where I could even want to do that. Not sure if that even makes sense to anyone else. :-)
But what Christianity is doesn't fit me - I don't fit it. And I am done trying to make myself into their image of who and what I should be. And to be clear, there is no religious system of beliefs that fits. I think that is part of the point.
Yeah. The Way is not a system. He is a person, alive and very active....and I am not sure what this new day has in store, but.....
That makes sense to me, KG.
How weird when the title "Christian" says less about you than it ... well, says about you :)
(Good to "see" you, I have been wondering how you've been going)
Hi Katherine...great to see you. Yes I get it...I even thought about renouncing Christ awhile back. See, I don't fit into the 'Christian' label, but I know I'm spiritual...so I thought, "Well, if I'm not Christian, then WHAT am I?". Crazy, but true. However I found nothing I was seeking in other potential faiths.
So I have stuck with Jesus, but I am wary of labels and methods that people jump on. None of the existing systems fit me, either...and so I'm beginning to wonder if *not* fitting is the point? So we don't stagnate?
i thought we had been over this already, no?
you know, it's interesting. I don't even think in terms of labels for myself anymore. I know i used to, but it's just not there for me anymore. i have shed the old label of christian because it carries far too much baggage with it, regardless of its originally intended meaning of "little christ." nowadays, and in my neck of the woods, it tends to mean "self righteous douchebag", and i'm not really keen on being that.
i don't so much have a problem with what being a "christian" used to mean. (and that's where my mom and i differ. she still has the older definition in mind and wears it proudly.) but i think what most here have a problem with is that when the label of christian is used, it is not so much what it does to YOU that is the problem, it is what it does to the "hearer" of the label and all the assumptions about you that get heaped on once the word is uttered.
i don't think you need a new label. you're erin word, goddammit, and from where i stand, that's good enough. :)
the more i think about it, i think the problem lies not in "christian" as a noun, but as an adjective. when one is a "christian" in the noun sense, it would suggest to me one who is following god and has knowledge of the sacrifice and resulting freedom.
yet when one starts labeling things in the adjective sense "christian worldview" "christain programming" "christian bookstore" "christian music", that is when this whole imaginary (and yet all too real) "culture of chritianity" comes to the forefront and people begin believing that one must conform to the opinions of the culture at large and adopt all of the adjectives in order to be a noun.
and that's just not true.
The way I see it, labels aren't our identity. I no longer like using the label 'christian' because to the 'world' it is rarely seen for Who it represents, rather it is only seen in how 'bad' we have misrepresented Father God... I think our lives in Father is enough and doesn't necessarily need a name!!! It is what it is, and we are who we are through Him!! :) Good stuff Erin!
Hmmm.... in Acts 11:26, it sats that in Antioch is where the disciples were first called Christians. The implication is that they did not start the name. Rather those around them (who had heard of Christ) recognized them as followers of Him and started labeling them accordingly. They (the disciples) then started using it, too.
Maybe we spend way too much time worrying about what label we wear - what label to put on others to make nice, tidy little boxes to put people in so we can know who to trust and who to shun.....
Yeah, labels....
a good point, katherine. the more i have pondered, it seems like this:
people often spend more time doing church than being church.
instead of trying to work so hard to wear the "adjective", and gain approval for wearing that label, we need to spend more time just being like christ and let others give us the noun label that they think fits. as with the first in Antioch as you have astutely pointed out katherine.
because when others witness the spirit come out of our lives towards them in radical blessing, love, kindness, and generosity, they cannot help but be moved and recognize what is happening on some level. even if in a completely ignorant way.
sometimes i can tell people have no idea what to think about me or what is happening around them when i am near and start warping their reality. but on many faces, although i don't see comprehension of the greater design behind it all, i see the appreciation and recognition that they are indeed a part of a very rare and special moment.
and that the spirit they are experiencing in that moment is indeed holy and to be embraced with open arms and without fear.
I am sorry I've been so absent, you guys...too much on my plate right now.
Yes, we have been over this, Jon...but because this is probably a 6 part a series, I'm not finished saying what I want to say, and I think I'm maybe taking a different tack. I appreciate that I'm Erin Word...and I don't really need any labels...but it is a conversation that is still going on out there and I feel like addressing it.
Yes, there are a myriad of things wrong with the Christian subculture, and I don't live in it and don't participate in it for those reasons. But just because we're ignoring it, it's not going to go away...I think that's what I'm working on saying.
We're in a bit of a no-man's land between Christian and the secular world...what does that mean for us?
Nicole - You really have nailed it...that is the bulk of the problem. Like Jon said, it's not in what it means to us, but what it means to the hearer...but is that the whole story?
In my process thinking about all this, Katherine, I have found myself needing to be more careful about how I label others. You are right on, there. Realizing that labels really do compartmentalize a person and it's not any more fair to anyone else than it is for people to compartmentalize me because (if) I call myself Christian.
I am absolutely with you, Jon, on the difference between doing and being. I know I have hashed that out enough in these last 4 years, and really am trying to BE and not do. Of course that is terrifying and heretical to most Christians, because I hold no statement of faith, no creed, no doctrine, nothing above the spirit of LOVE (which encompasses generosity, kindness etc.). Out in the no-man's land of 'Jesus life'.
I am beginning to learn to see those moments you speak of, to recognize them for what they are, and am truly beginning to realize what Jesus life is all about.
I get frustrated that so much surrounding the BEING - the more mystical, entering into direct experience of God stuff - the Christian culture on the whole has viewed with suspicion and distrust and "this is demonic" fear.
Funny, I think that fear is the demonic part, not the stilling your mind in meditation. It's the "be still and know that I am God" bit from which the fountain is filled, for me. That's the difference sometimes between whether I walk past the homeless woman or not. Entering into that space, it's like I can then recognise God in everything else (not that God IS everything else, but that s/he dwells in everything). The Lord the Lord is one :)
God dwells in everything...very panentheistic of you there, Sue.
I tend to agree even though it is a very heretical view. In my charismatic background we were more likely taught that the devil is IN everything, rather than God being IN everything. Isn't that sad?
Being, breathing in harmony with all that is created...that is such an important way to spend some time...but yes, so feared.
I think you're on to something..its not a system, but a relationship!!
PW - I think I've known that in theory for most of my life, but it's taken this long to actually believe it.
Post a Comment