Two days ago saw the hospitalization of my otherwise healthy (and young) mother. I'm not going to share details at this point, suffice to say they found a previously undiagnosed and unexpected, chronic problem. I will say it is a very good thing she got to the hospital when she did, because it could have resulted in something much worse than the miserable symptoms she's been having and the treatment she will now face. I'm thankful she's alive and has a great prognosis for recovery, with time.
However, of course, this has been difficult for me, a great sense of frustration that this was not diagnosed earlier, considering how much time she has spent at the Dr. these last few months. I'm frustrated that she had to become so ill before something was done. I'm frustrated that the amount of stress she's been under these last few years is a significant contributing factor, and like any good firstborn I keep wondering if there was something I should have done to help prevent it, or at least I should have realized something was wrong much sooner.
Of course, her symptoms have been somewhat mysterious these last few weeks, seeming very much like one thing, but then turning out not to be that at all. Dad and I both said now that we KNOW what's going on, it makes perfect sense and we both are kicking ourselves for not realizing it much sooner, even a year or two ago. I think maybe we didn't want to face the possibility.
In any case, I'm carrying a new weight around right now, and may not be as present as usual until things return more to normal. I appreciate your prayers for her recovery. Please pray for dad as well. Thanks all!
However, of course, this has been difficult for me, a great sense of frustration that this was not diagnosed earlier, considering how much time she has spent at the Dr. these last few months. I'm frustrated that she had to become so ill before something was done. I'm frustrated that the amount of stress she's been under these last few years is a significant contributing factor, and like any good firstborn I keep wondering if there was something I should have done to help prevent it, or at least I should have realized something was wrong much sooner.
Of course, her symptoms have been somewhat mysterious these last few weeks, seeming very much like one thing, but then turning out not to be that at all. Dad and I both said now that we KNOW what's going on, it makes perfect sense and we both are kicking ourselves for not realizing it much sooner, even a year or two ago. I think maybe we didn't want to face the possibility.
In any case, I'm carrying a new weight around right now, and may not be as present as usual until things return more to normal. I appreciate your prayers for her recovery. Please pray for dad as well. Thanks all!
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness, Erin. I will pray for her recovery.
ReplyDeleteI know it's been a difficult year. I also pray for you - that you will have even more courage & daily strength, and that you will feel & know, you're not carrying this burden, alone. Lean hard.
(Also, praying for your Dad).
Erin,
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for your mom and for you.
Erin,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about this. I will be praying for her. I really truly will. I shall also be praying for you and your father, for strength, comfort and hope.
Blessings,
~Amy :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom Erin. I will definitely be praying for her and the rest of your family.
ReplyDeleteFrom one eldest child to another - please stop kicking yourself. I felt the exact same way years ago when my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and in HINDSIGHT the symptoms seemed so obvious (btw, my mom is fine now).
ReplyDeleteI think I am more concerned for you than your mom right now because she has a team of people looking after her that will treat her for the problem but you, my dear, have had non-stop stress lately (it seems). Who is looking after Erin? We all love you and are here for you but I bet we each wish we could do something more tangible.
Praying for all of you.
(((Erin)))
ReplyDeleteTry not to spend too much time kicking yourself over what you could've or should've realized sooner.
Ah, Word Dude, kicking against your own goads is an exercise in futility. Still, doesn't stop us from doing it, huh? :)
ReplyDeleteHindsight is a wonderful thing. There are 50 million things that are patently obvious that we don't see at any one time because it's just how we are and how it is. Still, I would be feeling the same.
I will surely be praying for your mum and dad and u
Erin, don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault. You're not a doctor, after all. At least she's getting treatment now, which is the main thing.
ReplyDeletePraying for her - and for you.
Thanks everyone...I'm too exhausted to reply individually...today found me cleaning mom and dad's house...she's been too sick for weeks...as well as taking care of her dog and going to the hospital...
ReplyDeleteBut I want to clarify...I am not feeling guilt for not realizing...just wishing I had. I know it does no good to have hindsight so now I'm just focused on the future and moving forward from here. But I learned one more thing to watch for.
And no, it's not cancer. Just in case you wondered.
Thanks so much y'all...love you bunches.
yeah-- what they said! still praying.
ReplyDeleteWhen my father died, my mother went through a lot of stress and became very sick. Then she got in with some very bad doctors. Me being the one most qualified to deal with it over a thousand miles away. That was very hard. Luckily, I was able to go to my mother for a week, and get all of that settled, and the right doctor's fixed her issues. But until it is fixed, it is real hard. I will pray for you and you family daily.
ReplyDeleteYou're on my mind a lot, Erin, so I do be sometimes saying "Erin" at God when I think to do it.
ReplyDeleteI share your frustration with the medical profession. I went through 6 years of chronic illness, and have come out the other end with a healthy disrespect for GP's. Dunno what it's like where you are, but here GP's really are forced to see and diagnose and bedside manner in 15 minute increments. They are also expected to know so much about everything, sometimes I think they're so broad as to be little good for anything but fevers and stuff like that, basic stuff. I wouldn't be a doctor for quids.
Anyway, just blathering here abut doctors. It's some crazy temperature outside again, 45 C/113F, and just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your Mama.
Grace, I like your avatar :)
Thanks Cindy!
ReplyDeleteNate - Yes, we really do have to be our own advocates in this system. I'm glad my mom is quite practiced at it from the last few years of caring for her parents...and she's lucid enough to make demands of her Drs when something isn't right.
Sue - I think many GPs are too broad and therefore too shallow in their knowledge.
We have more and more of something here called a hospitalist. They only work at the hospital and don't have a separate practice...and it's their job to direct care and to make sure a person is seen by the right kinds of specialists while they stay in the hospital. It's kind of a new thing but so far with Randy's mom and my mom our experiences have been good. It's more like having one point of contact for care while in hospital.
We'll be praying.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDelete