A Week with a Friend

I am in my late 30's and have been married almost 17 years. Until three weeks ago I had never hosted an out-of-town guest. Frankly, I didn't really know anyone from out-of-town until I started blogging, not including Portland friends who moved away. Now, of course, out-of-town stretches nearly to the farthest reaches of the world.

So when Ché and I began discussing the possibility of her coming for a visit, I was ecstatic! Yay! My first houseguest! I quickly embarked on a journey of creating a guest room, cleaning, painting, redecorating...and anticipating the day she would arrive. I kept wondering if something was going to come up to prevent her visit, pessimist that I am, because I was so looking forward to it.

Ché and I are kindred spirits. I cannot count the times during her visit that one of us said "Me too!" in response to something the other one had said. There is something about this that is life-giving and affirming.

When we were little girls, no doubt most of us (those of us who were girls, anyhow) had the experience of meeting someone with whom we "clicked" almost immediately. A best friend forever, or at least for a year or two until our fickle hearts spoke otherwise. I did have this experience with a few of my growing-up friends...Jennie, Laura, Cindi...all with whom I still retain valuable friendships to this day. But most of the others are lost to the ages.

In adulthood I have found that "click" to be a rare experience. So often in adulthood we have so many directions and so many things pulling at our attention that it is a struggle to develop meaningful relationships.

Then there is the internet. For so many of the years since the 'net became a fixture in the average home, we have been fearful of these people who live at the other end of our connection. For we know not who they really are; maybe they are cyber-stalkers or con-artists or worse. But as time has passed, growing numbers of people have met great friends online, and overall our fear as a society has subsided. This is not to say a good measure of caution is not warranted, but we also feel a freedom to trust and are rewarded for it. Suddenly, there are people whom I call "friend" who live in all the corners of the earth.

When it comes to the net, our world has expanded and the people we have contact with has grown in leaps and bounds. We are able to relate to people on a certain level, people we have commonalities with that we might struggle to find in our tangible world. We have the opportunity to get to know people on our own terms, in our own time...yet somehow this doesn't seem to offend, for we are all in the same boat.

One day last summer, I don't even know how, Ché came to visit my blog. Over time, we began e-mailing and found much common ground. Months later we met in person, in so-called neutral territory, and became good friends. We soon began talking of her coming to visit, and although it took time to find a date that would be suitable for both of us, we did eventually iron it out. And one day, just about three weeks ago, she turned up on my front porch. In that week (or so) that we spent together, something finally became true for me...we really can make friends over long distances. I hope to make the trip to her home in the not-too-distant future...to listen to her kids bicker and see the sights in her neighborhood. I wanted to post a picture just to prove her visit, but we forgot to take one until the last moment and it did not turn out well. Ah, oh well.

For people who say real friendships can't form in the intangible world of the internet, this raspberry is for you.

Ppbblltt.