7.11.2008

One more...

I really am going to post soon...really. But as things are, I simply haven't had time. We have been cleaning and redecorating, not because of, but in anticipation of, my friend Ché's visit next week. I'm so excited! Many of you know Ché, but for those who don't, the short story is she and I met online just about a year ago and quickly became friends. Last November, she roomed with Pam and I at the Off the Map conference in Seattle. She and I spent quite a bit of time together; I love Pam dearly, but there is something comfortable about having another introvert to spend time with at a conference like that. So we have been talking ever since about her coming down for a visit...and now it's finally here. She will be with us Monday through Saturday, and for that I will likely be offline more than not during the time she is here.

In other news, we attended a very difficult memorial service today. I spoke briefly of the situation a few days ago, and it has been challenging for me. In some ways, when you're not close to a family, but once were very close, it feels strange to grieve. The mass was beautiful; I can't remember how long it's been since I've been to mass. There is something soothing about it, the ritual, the knowing.

In this situation, the man who died was 29 years old (it seems funny to call him "man" because to me he will always be about 4 years old...) and and died as a result of a long battle with a particular addiction. It is unfortunate that he left his friends and family in this way, because now they are left wondering what more they could have done to support him, though every possible avenue was taken to help him; in the end he could only win this battle in death.

The priest is new to the parish; he has only been there a few days, so no one was really sure what to expect. I liked him a great deal and he said some particularly interesting things. He spoke of how we are not our addictions, our bodies have an addiction, but our soul does not. He spoke of the impermanence of the body how our souls are "crammed full" of God, and God is not addicted. I cannot do it justice in retrospect, but at the time, his words were powerful and thought provoking.

I do not cry at funerals. Or shall I say, I have yet to; I'm sure there will be a time that I will. However, I do cry after funerals, when I am home, alone. Today I broke down, feeling a sense of a now-broken family, one so similar to mine, one once so close to mine. Flooded with memories of my childhood, of the place this family held in our lives. It is a place that while it can fade with time, it never dies.

One more. My Grandfather's brother, my great uncle, died on Wednesday. Four deaths in three months; two old, two young. So today I wondered "When will it end? Please, could no one else die now for awhile?" Because I feel so full of grief; grief in varying ways, but grief still the same. I've had enough for awhile.

Thank you all for your support and love. I have felt it and I appreciate it. Please don't feel obligated to offer condolences yet again...I know you are there and are praying, and that is enough. When you do pray, please pray for the family, they have a long and difficult road ahead.

16 comments:

  1. I most certainly will continue to pray for that family.

    And, no matter what you say, my prayers and condolences to you as well, doesn't matter how many times :)

    Love you too much girly :)
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  2. Wow, I like that priest. I met a priest this week while with my aunt in the hospital and was also struck with the "knowing" and the comfort my aunt got from being annointed with oil by him...

    Anyhow, I am sorry you've had so much grief in the last few months :( I hope no one else dies for a long time.

    I'm excited and a tad bit envious about Che's visit. You two will have a wonderful time! And you will also have a new guest room :)

    Love you.
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  3. Thank you Cindi. I know you do. I haven't watched your DVD yet, but I will! I promise. And thanks, I'm looking forward to seeing the "neighborhood" up there.

    Have a wonderful visit with your parents.
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  4. Thanks Katherine. I could use a few of those.
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  5. Barbara - I used to wish I was Catholic. Most of my friends were, we were the "protestant" family. So I went to mass quite a bit growing up (never did like that I couldn't take communion, because I believed I was as "Christian" as they were) but because of that I understand most of the rituals and know most of the responses. Of course, it helps that this mass has no Latin.

    Yesterday, even for a non-Catholic, there was something quite comforting in the rituals. My husband felt it too. Almost like being gently rocked...I can't quite describe it.

    You know if you had come up for the conference Ché, Pam and I could have met you too...and you could have even roomed with us! In any case, you can come for a visit anytime!
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  6. By the way Barbara - is your aunt OK? I meant to ask...
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  7. I was thinking about you and wondering how it went...there is no doubt you and your friends will be in my prayers.

    Mass...too cool, I'm glad it was a good one! I personally love going to mass, for a non ritual person like myself I love the rituals and go as often as I can!!
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  8. O yeah...and better yet...it was great having lunch with you..I loved the pizza place and can't wait to take Chuck there...maybe we can all meet there one evening?
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  9. I'm still here....

    Peace...
    Michelle
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  10. Have a great time with Che. Still praying.
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  11. {hug}

    wow. i am so sorry to hear of these two most recent losses in your life, especially the family friend. it is such a powerless feeling to watch someone self-destruct from addiction.

    {another hug}

    I'm looking forward to hanging out with you and Che this week. Let's talk tomorrow. I have a morning cleaning job and no more cleanin gigs until Friday..........
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  12. Thanks Donna. Yeah, we'd love to hang out with you guys. Coordinating a date will be a challenge knowing your schedule and mine, but we can sure try!
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  13. Thanks Lyn. By the way, I'm finally getting Skype (and I'm trying to talk Cindy into it) so maybe let's finally chat one day?
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  14. Pam - So funny that you and Ché said the same thing within minutes of each other...she via e-mail, you here. I'm thinking live music and margaritas? She and I are going to do downtown, Powell's and sightsee and all one day, and shop Hawthorne one day, but we don't have any cemented plans except the Shanghai Tunnels tour Friday night. So let's talk tomorrow.
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