4.14.2008
I'm here
It was a long weekend. Looong.
We had a pool party for one of my sons' birthdays Saturday, for 17 kids...which included a sleepover (for only two, thank goodness).
Today I had dental work....well, only a filling, but if you knew my family, that's not easy. I'm the only one on my family who doesn't take Valium before going...because we are hard to numb and we have sucky teeth. We all go to the same dentist (and have for over 30 years) for precisely this reason. It took 3 huge shots today before the Dentist got me numb in the right place. So now I'm all swollen and sore, from the shots, not the filling. Go figure.
Randy talked this morning to the father of the boy who died on Friday. It was short, of course, but it gave both of us a better barometer of who we can be for them. Talking with him made it very real and we were both quite choked up over it. The family has not been out of my thoughts at all now...day and night they are there. He is so young and had so much promise...I'm sorry I didn't know him more than I did...anyhow the funeral is to be on Friday.
To tell the truth, blogging seems so trivial in light of the fragility of life. I have had so many of your wonderful posts open today, and I just sit and stare and think "what am I doing here?" and can't think of anything to say. I'm sure it's temporary, it's just where I am right now.
I think the thing that drives me craziest about death, especially when it is a child, is this: so often I hear of those who experience such a tragedy and one thing they say is how everyone is so afraid to talk about the child or afraid to speak of them in the present tense. It seems like we think if we just pretend like the person never existed, it will ease the suffering of those who lost him. But I think the opposite is true. He is still their son; he is still REAL.
I have spoken extensively with Pam this weekend, which has been a blessing...even though our level of relationship with the boy who died and his family is different than the loss Pam experienced, it's been helpful to me get some real first hand thoughts and feelings from her.
Anyhow, here I am.
We had a pool party for one of my sons' birthdays Saturday, for 17 kids...which included a sleepover (for only two, thank goodness).
Today I had dental work....well, only a filling, but if you knew my family, that's not easy. I'm the only one on my family who doesn't take Valium before going...because we are hard to numb and we have sucky teeth. We all go to the same dentist (and have for over 30 years) for precisely this reason. It took 3 huge shots today before the Dentist got me numb in the right place. So now I'm all swollen and sore, from the shots, not the filling. Go figure.
Randy talked this morning to the father of the boy who died on Friday. It was short, of course, but it gave both of us a better barometer of who we can be for them. Talking with him made it very real and we were both quite choked up over it. The family has not been out of my thoughts at all now...day and night they are there. He is so young and had so much promise...I'm sorry I didn't know him more than I did...anyhow the funeral is to be on Friday.
To tell the truth, blogging seems so trivial in light of the fragility of life. I have had so many of your wonderful posts open today, and I just sit and stare and think "what am I doing here?" and can't think of anything to say. I'm sure it's temporary, it's just where I am right now.
I think the thing that drives me craziest about death, especially when it is a child, is this: so often I hear of those who experience such a tragedy and one thing they say is how everyone is so afraid to talk about the child or afraid to speak of them in the present tense. It seems like we think if we just pretend like the person never existed, it will ease the suffering of those who lost him. But I think the opposite is true. He is still their son; he is still REAL.
I have spoken extensively with Pam this weekend, which has been a blessing...even though our level of relationship with the boy who died and his family is different than the loss Pam experienced, it's been helpful to me get some real first hand thoughts and feelings from her.
Anyhow, here I am.
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