3.27.2008
Midnight at the Oasis
Some days I know what freedom feels like, other days I only stare into space trying to focus on it away in the eternal distance. I like to think I’m above this frivolous chasing, like a child, but most of the time I’m teetering on the edge of a desire for it that I cannot control. Sometimes I fear real freedom is only a mirage, fueled by overwhelming desire to seek water in the desert, but never really finding any. Chasing the elusive oasis in our thirst to be free.
Freedom is such a transcendental and ethereal thing that we can become consumed by the apprehending of it, losing our sanity in the search. We become wild-eyed and messy-haired, murmuring to ourselves under our breath as we dig for ocean beneath the sand. Yet, is it entirely wrong to be wild and messy in our seeking? Or do we become too bound by propriety that we lose our motivation to search, simply lay down and die in the desert? Searching is a part of life, for the singular moment we believe we have found what we are looking for, we will begin to decay in the mirage.
Freedom is like a tide; and as children, we will chase the waves as they creep and break, wanting to jump in and swim but only having courage to dip our toes, that the power might overwhelm us and drag us under. Is freedom meant to tease us, to only warn us of the danger were we to embrace it? Or is it somewhere we might find buoyancy, and to our greatest astonishment we will not sink? Should we worry the seas that promise relief from the desert will be our undoing?
This night, like a river wild, following the downhill run of least resistance, I choose not to fear the ocean at the end of the delta. It is so very vast and unpredictable, and I might not know where I will end up once adrift on the seas , yet, is there anything left to fear greater than the lack of peace I feel for not following my heart and soul through their paths of least resistance?
Is that what Spirit is really about – finding the oasis in the desert, the place of peace in the eddy of our lives?
Freedom is such a transcendental and ethereal thing that we can become consumed by the apprehending of it, losing our sanity in the search. We become wild-eyed and messy-haired, murmuring to ourselves under our breath as we dig for ocean beneath the sand. Yet, is it entirely wrong to be wild and messy in our seeking? Or do we become too bound by propriety that we lose our motivation to search, simply lay down and die in the desert? Searching is a part of life, for the singular moment we believe we have found what we are looking for, we will begin to decay in the mirage.
Freedom is like a tide; and as children, we will chase the waves as they creep and break, wanting to jump in and swim but only having courage to dip our toes, that the power might overwhelm us and drag us under. Is freedom meant to tease us, to only warn us of the danger were we to embrace it? Or is it somewhere we might find buoyancy, and to our greatest astonishment we will not sink? Should we worry the seas that promise relief from the desert will be our undoing?
This night, like a river wild, following the downhill run of least resistance, I choose not to fear the ocean at the end of the delta. It is so very vast and unpredictable, and I might not know where I will end up once adrift on the seas , yet, is there anything left to fear greater than the lack of peace I feel for not following my heart and soul through their paths of least resistance?
Is that what Spirit is really about – finding the oasis in the desert, the place of peace in the eddy of our lives?
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