Foolish Heart

Anyone remember that Steve Perry song?

"Foolish Heart, hear me callin'
Stop before you start fallin'
Foolish heart, heed my warnin'
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore"

For many years of my life, I believed that being a Christian meant blindly believing church leaders...whichever leaders those were, in whatever church I was attending. Of, course, I believed I was supposed to believe the leaders simply because they themselves told me I was supposed to believe them. How's that for some killer circular reasoning?

I have heard it said that it is good to be a fool for the Lord; often this ideal is modeled after King David, who danced naked in the street, singing and shouting in praise of the Lord. In other words, being unashamed of the God we worship and being outspoken about it.

But there's a wrong way of being a fool.

I devoted almost 30 years to trying to believe the earth was created in 6 literal days, 6000 literal years ago. I tried to believe that we must legislate reproductive health and human sexuality. I really wanted to believe that a banana was ultimate evidence of the existence of God. I gave it my damnedest, trying to believe science is evil and every word of the bible is literal. I wanted to believe it because I was told to believe it. What a fool was I. Not because I believed the things I did (or tried to), but because I let the church perform a lobotomy on me many years ago, enough to think I was not qualified to think for myself.

So I say I "tried to believe"...because deep inside, I knew some of these beliefs were wrong. I have mentioned before that I secretly read National Geographic for years, hiding it from my Christian friends, because this publication teaches such heresies as evolution, global warming, and that being gay is genetic. The truth is, I soaked it up...it was an island of reason in my otherwise illogical belief system. Not to say that I blindly follow science, either, but that so much of it makes sense to me. I strongly believe God is behind everything, I have just 'evolved' out of my prideful notion that I have any idea at all how God goes about anything, like, oh, say, creating and sustaining THE UNIVERSE...do we not think God created scientific evidence, as well?

Somewhere along the way, I began to grow a brain of my own. I'm not sure how it happened, but it is part of what led to my eventual church-leaving...for I could not maintain the facade any longer...I could no longer claim to follow beliefs I did not truly subscribe to, and, as many of you know, people who grow brains in some churches do not always continue to be welcome.

The lyrics I quoted above say, "You've been wrong before, don't be wrong anymore". When I hear that, in this context, I can't help but think of all the people, immediate family included, whom I have hurt with my foolish beliefs. And how much I really don't want to be wrong again...pushing the wrong agenda to the wrong people. I know I will continue to get it wrong sometimes, probably often. I am still a fool for God; but I hope I will no longer be foolish for some supposed Godly agenda, which in the end, only hurts people...which cannot, in my mind, be of God.

Some of the other lyrics of that song go like this:

"I need a love that grows
I don't want it unless I know
With each passing hour
Someone somehow
Will be there
Ready to share"

I no longer desire to be a fool for foolish beliefs...instead I want to be a fool for Love...Loving so liberally that I will deliberately set myself up to be heartbroken. I haven't made it yet, but each day is new.

I want to have a Foolish Heart.


Please visit my fellow synchrobloggers for their thoughts on the topic of "God's Call to the Fools".
Post-links will be added as they become available:

"Quiet Now, God's Calling" / Jenelle D'Alessandro /Hello Said Jenelle
The Power of Paradox / Julie Clawson / One Hand Clapping
That Darn Ego / Jonathan Brink / Missio Dei
Won't Get Fooled Again / Alan Knox / The Assembling of the Church
A Fools Choice / Cindy Harvey / Tracking the Edge
Strength on the Margins / Adam Gonnerman / Igneous Quill
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right / Mike Bursell / Mike's Musings
Ship of Fools / David Fisher / Be the Revolution
What a fool I've Been / Reba Baskett / In Reba's World
Fool if you Think it's Over / Paul Walker / Out of the Cocoon
Hut Burning for God / Fr. Gregory Hallam / Antioch Abouma
Blessed are the Foolish... / Steve Hayes / Notes from Underground
God Used this Fool / Cobus van Wyngaaard / My Contemplations
Fools Rush In / Sonja Andrews / Calacirian
The Holy Fool / Phil Wyman / Square No More
What a Fool Believes / Sue / Discombobula
My Foolish Calling / Lisa / Let's Put the Kettle On
God Uses Foolish Things / Sally Coleman / Sally's Journey
The Foolishness of God and Christians / K.W. Leslie / The Evening of Kent