Leaving Church - Part 3 - Why Leave?

Leaving Church - Introduction
Leaving Church - Part 1 - Those Left Behind
Leaving Church - Part 2 - How Not to Leave

I recently discovered that Lifeway did research about people who leave church. This was interesting to me because I usually get information about things like this from Barna. From this study, I gained a real handle on the real reason people leave.

Here are some quotes.

"Clearly, many of the reasons people no longer regularly attend church are interrelated. More than 80 percent of the formerly churched do not have a strong belief in God, explaining why work and family are a higher priority than church. But would they be “too busy” to attend if they felt more welcome at church?

Although many formerly churched adults stay away from their former church for the same reasons they initially left, some indicate that the church did not notice or care. Sixteen percent said “nobody contacted me after I left” and another 16 percent said “nobody seemed to care that I left.”

...

“Christian leaders seem to be reluctant to [proclaim] the terms of discipleship that Jesus laid out,” Ogden writes. “What are the reasons for our reluctance? We are afraid that if we ask too much, people will stop coming to our churches. Our operating assumption is that people will flee to the nearby entertainment church if we ask them to give too much of themselves. So we start with a low bar and try to entice people by increments of commitment, hoping that we can raise the bar imperceptibly to the ultimate destination of discipleship.”

Waggoner said it appears that some of the formerly churched left because the “destination” was so slow to emerge. “In the end, it’s important for church leaders to not only assume responsibility for those who seek to join their churches, but also for those who attempt to leave. Be vigilant at both the front door and the back door of the church.”

and

"“Many members are vulnerable to attrition because of either a nonexistent or immature faith,” said Brad Waggoner, director of LifeWay Research. “When individuals begin to seek out membership, they should be guided through a process whereby they are clearly taught the gospel and then following salvation, grounded in strong biblical truth. Far fewer people would drop out of church if their spiritual foundation was deep and strong. The church must also be sensitive to this combination of a less developed but genuine desire for faith as they approach the formerly churched about returning.”

and

"One of the many biblical metaphors of church leadership is that of the shepherd,” said Waggoner. “Throughout Scripture we see that the shepherd was to protect, guide and care for the flock and to go after those who have strayed from the fold. These findings indicate that churches should seek out those who have lapsed as well as taking steps to reduce further departures by meeting members’ needs for a welcoming and spiritually fulfilling church environment.”

Waggoner noted that prompting the formerly churched to visit a church with an eye toward attending regularly requires some work. Most of these individuals had multiple reasons for leaving. Not surprisingly, the work of the Holy Spirit along with the efforts of church members, friends and family members is needed to light a fire under them, Waggoner said."

I am aware that Lifeway is not an objective resource. However, I do want to look at this. Based on these quotes, I find that:

1. 80% of us do not have a strong faith in God, therefore church is not a high priority. Also, and increase in welcoming committees would make a difference.
   
2. We want people to harass us when we leave so we don't feel forgotten.
   
3. We are not interested in being discipled so they start us out slow.
4. We are destination-driven to a fault...huh?
5. We are unable to understand or accept the gospel. Essentially, we are spiritual retards and the church needs to hold remedial Christianity classes for us.
6. We want people to harass us when we leave, because we have lapsed and our salvation is at stake. Also, it's all about our needs not being met.
   
7. The Holy Spirit must not be doing His job, because He requires our family and friends help to "light a fire under us" to get us to return.

Please forgive my sarcasm here - I really want to be objective...but SERIOUSLY? They think these things are the problems? Do any of those things sound anything at all like any church-leaver you know?

What I really think these statistics and comments show is the true reason why people leave church...

...the church is completely out of touch with many of us. Gone should be the notion that Christians must be cookie-cutter copies of each other in order to have a vibrant faith. But as soon as we begin to emerge out of the mold, these kinds of things are said about us.

What needs to happen here is simple. Researchers need to spend 6 months reading the blogs of church-leavers, really reading them. Interacting on them. Asking questions without judging. Then they might find out just a little bit about why people really leave. Maybe that would initiate the kind of change that needs to happen in order to get us back.

Then again, many of us will likely never return to what these people consider "church". We are perfectly willing to forge our own way, instead. We are finding new forms of "church community", new ways to "meet together", new ways of expressing and practicing our faith.

I didn't want this post to be negative...but it did end up that way. I am only human and am obviously not able to be completely objective on this subject.

Next...Why Church?

Leaving Church - Part 2 - How Not to Leave

Leaving Church - Introduction
Leaving Church - Part 1 - Those Left Behind

I came across this in my "Leaving Church" meanderings.

From the St.Petersbug Times

"HUDSON - Beneath a stained-glass mural of the resurrection, the choir of St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church gathered Jan. 26 to mourn a young member's death.

The people had braced for Alison Matera's passing since they learned of her cancer. They sat in wooden pews before a pedestal of polished white stone. Among them was a stranger who looked strangely familiar.

She said she was Matera's sister. But she looked and sounded exactly like Matera.

And the people wondered."

The story goes on to tell of a woman who faked her own cancer and finally her own death in order to leave her church and spare everyone's feelings. Then she went so far as to attend her own memorial service.

"So why did she do it?

She told the deputy she has attachment problems rooted in childhood trauma. Any time someone gets close, she feels the need to separate.

After she gained several close friends in the choir, she said she had cancer to drive them away.

But it brought them closer.

She said the fake death - the heartbreaking conclusion of an 11-month lie - was her best attempt at sparing everyone's feelings."

What the heck?

In my last post on this subject, I spoke of how I realized I had never really thought about anyone's feelings but my own.

In this case, I think a person might have gone too far in considering other people's feelings.

I realize there are likely a number of issues at play in this situation which I know nothing about, so what I'm going to say next is based on my own personal experience.

The lack of a person's ability or safety to be honest with the people close to them is probably a large part of church-leaving. Rather than being able to say to the people around me "Hey, I need help", I chose to try to deal with my issues, questions, and doubts in my own way.

There were several months where I knew I was at risk, before the events went down that caused me to run. I had fair warning that I needed help, but I was afraid to ask, afraid to be honest about it. Instead I walked out on all of my ministries with little or no explanation, quit going to church, and became mixed up in the most difficult circumstances of my life.

I could have saved a number of people a great deal of grief if I has been willing to risk admitting to someone - anyone - what I was struggling with and that I needed help.

That's not necessarily to say that anything could have prevented me from leaving. There were so many things in the mix - most of which I have driven into the dirt on this blog.

However, I can't help but wonder how different my process might have been if I had confided in someone with the maturity to help me through it, instead of orchestrating my own exit on my own terms. My path out could have been a great deal smoother with a little paving.

The Discovery of Q?

And we're not talking the Star Trek character 'Q', played by actor John de Lancie.

Q is considered to be a lost possible source text for the Gospels of Matthew and Luke. It is a long-standing theory that the synoptic Gospels share a common source of content that is not found in their commonly recognized source, the Gospel of Mark.

From Wikipedia:

"The existence of Q follows from the argument that neither Matthew nor Luke is directly dependent on the other in the double tradition (what New Testament scholars call the material that Matthew and Luke share that does not appear in Mark). However, the verbal agreement between Matthew and Luke is so close in some parts of the double tradition that the double tradition is explained as an indirect literary relationship, namely, through use of a common written source or sources."

It seems someone has created an interesting theory as to the origins of this lost hypothetical 'Q' document.

John at Locusts and Honey will tell you more.


HT Brother Maynard.

Leaving Church - Part 1 - Those Left Behind

Leaving Church - Introduction:

"I felt inspired to use Google's Blog Search to look for blogs that mention the subject of 'leaving church', both with reference to Barbara Brown Taylor's book, and without. In the next several posts, I'm going to talk about what I found."



At Relevant Magazine:

"Recently some friends my age left the church that I go to, and I have to say; I felt kind of slighted by the whole thing. Now they are going to a different church, and I am sure they have their reasons. But it just feels like it wasn’t just the church they left: it feels like they left me. The next time I saw them, I asked how things were going, but ultimately I really wanted to know why they had moved on."

For some reason, this quote from the article got me thinking. In the case of this article I quoted, I believe he is specifically referencing people who are leaving because they are 'bored'. Nonetheless, it's an important thought.

In my anguish and frustration, in my eagerness to run, I never stopped to look back. I never really gave a moments thought as to how the people I left were feeling. I was angry, I was wounded, and I was (inexcusably) selfish. I never wondered whether or not my leaving was hurting them. I offered little explanation to most people, assuming, given the circumstances, they would just know why I left. Now, you know what they say about the word 'assume' - I don't think I have to spell it out.

I realize now there are probably people who really didn't get it, and for that I don't blame them. Even if they did have intimate knowledge of the circumstances surrounding my exit, it still may not have seemed the same to them as it did to me. I was leaving the church for my own spiritual well being and I thought they didn't care. They thought I was leaving them because I didn't want them anymore - or worse, because I thought I was better than them - and too good for church.

A few people did reach out to me after I left, but I had the reflexive tendency to brush them off. I think my emotional response was "they don't really want to know how I am or what's going on, they just want to get me to come back to church". I had this deep sense of suspicion about me. I couldn't believe anyone could really understand - I was sure they just wanted to get my butt back in a pew. For some, that might have been true. But in my hurt, I believed even my closest friends and mentors were out to get me.

A good friend of mine is always calling me on my sh**. One item she frequently turns to is my habit of thinking I know what other people are thinking. This is true. Ask my husband. Granted I can be pretty intuitive about people's intentions. Call it discernment. But when I'm emotionally involved, I'm often off.

I left many people I cared about behind. I exited stage left and never really asked them what it meant to them that I was leaving. I believed I knew how they felt, so I didn't bother asking. I think finding out I was right would have been harder than not knowing. But then again, I could have been wrong.

I don't know if I will ever feel safe enough to sort out the truth with the people I left behind when I left the church. I hope one day I will.

Leaving Church - Introduction

Today I have begun decompressing what it really means to 'leave church' and why I did it. I have become interested in looking at how other's view this process, why some people discount it, and whether or not we really need 'church'. My goal isn't only to champion my own perspective, but to truly try to see it from another point of view. I'm sure I'll do some of both.

Right now, I am heavily into Barbara Brown Taylor's book "Leaving Church" right now, thoroughly enjoying it - more than that - deeply appreciating it. I hope to have time to post some quotes sometime soon. But right now, that's not really what I'm getting at.

What has leaving meant for me? It has meant not only leaving the regular practice of church attendance behind, but leaving the entire concept of Christian faith as church presents it. It has meant abandoning the church as a means to define my faith. It also has meant the heartbreak of leaving some valued relationships, as well.

What has it not meant? For one, it has not meant leaving Jesus. It has not meant forsaking meeting together. It has not meant abandoning the practices of bible reading, prayer, or worship. It has not meant the lack of receiving sound teaching.

It has simply meant that church no longer has a monopoly on faith in my life. This is the healthiest spiritual season of my life. God has shown up in miraculous ways. I have met people I tremendously value - people I never would have met if I had remained inside. I have had to scrape the bottom of the barrel (or bottle as it were) looking for the last vestiges of a faith that had lost it's identity in church participation rather than losing it's identity in Christ. And I have found it, at least in part.

Most of you know all that already, but I felt like I wanted to highlight it for background purposes.

Sigh. This has the makings of a multi-part post.

I want to really process, for the first time, what leaving church is all about - from more than just my perspective. I have drawn myself deeply into the church-leaver's subculture here in the blogosphere - desperate to find a place of validation and safety. I am beginning, finally, to feel less frightened of this new territory called "unchurched". That's not to say I wish to stay here one moment longer than necessary, but I do wish to learn whatever I can while visiting here - even if that means hearing some things I'd rather not hear.

I can't tell you exactly what set off this newest wave of questions, but I felt inspired to use Google's Blog Search to look for blogs that mention the subject of 'leaving church', both with reference to Barbara Brown Taylor's book, and without.

In the next several posts, I'm going to talk about what I found.

It was Time

I just purged my blog subscriptions. Don't worry, I didn't delete anyone I ever talk to. I just deleted many of the ones I skim simply because they once-upon-a-time had something that interested me.

I went from 142 to 80. Wish losing weight was that easy, LOL.

I have about 20 News/Tech blogs I usually just skim in my reader.

I have about 40 faith-related blogs that I just skim.

I only actually read/interact the other 20 or so.

How many do you read? How many do you actually interact on? How do you choose to add a blog to your reader?

Portland is Healthy

According to Earthday Network's Urban Environment Report, Portland is the third healthiest city in the U.S.

KATU.com says:

"A recent national study found that only Fargo, North Dakota and Burlington, Vermont are the only cities that offer locals a better combination of clean air, water, and an all-around healthy environment than Portland."

Find the report here and here.

And people wonder why we live here in the rainy Rose City.

Quiet - can you hear spring?

During this stage of life, I don't think I will ever tire of having a quiet house all to myself for a few hours each day. That doesn't mean I'm actually HOME enjoying the quiet everyday, quite the contrary. But some days I have nothing to do but be home.

For 10 years I have been dealing with all the things that go with babies and preschoolers; first one child, then the other. I have loved every minute of it (at least in retrospect). But it is really something to be on duty 24 hours a day for years on end. And the way I see it, I have had it "easy". My kids were over 3 years apart and I only have two of them. I certainly know women whose child rearing has been more complicated than mine.

But for me, for my perspective, it's a sense of relief to have some time to myself. It's so funny to me to realize how my creative energy has been all but non-existent during these nurturing-heavy years. Some years it's been a good day when I have had time to eat lunch or apply makeup; writing was typically far from my mind. For many years, I couldn't even remember what it was like to write. Even as they went to school an increasing number of hours each the week (preschool, pre-k, kindergarten), I still had to fill those hours with doing necessary things like grocery shopping or going to the bank, relishing doing it without kid(s) in tow. How many moms (or dads) have had to abandon a full grocery cart because of an inconsolable screaming child?

It's only been this (school) year that I have actually felt I had time to breathe. I have had time for lunch dates with (gasp!) grownups and without (gasp!) kids. Lunch dates at McMenamin's instead of McDonald's. Real. Adult. Conversation.

But more importantly...

I have had time to listen to my heart - soul search and seek. I have had time to write - nothing earth-shattering - it's more been a time to rekindle this art that lies within me, to relearn, to regain touch with my spirit. It's like riding a bike, you never forget, but that doesn't mean you won't require practice to get good at it again.

This blog has been that for me, practice. I don't know what the future holds for my wordcraft, but I know this has been a place where I can re-familiarize myself with that gift which is in me that has been dormant for so long.

I have been blessed with the ability to stay home during these child-rearing years. I always believed that when the kids went to school, I would be bored. I thought I would want to get a job, to get out of the house and use my brain. But I have found the opposite to be true. My craft isn't so much one of intellect as it is one of spirit; and spirit needs quiet in order to be heard, rest in order to live.

As I have been finding time to be quiet and still, I have been hearing the first subtle sounds of the rebirth called 'spring'. When the wind blows I no longer hear the clacking of bare branches as in the dead of winter. The sound of the wind is not the same as a summer breeze, with it's whisper and sigh; nor the same as autumn winds, where the crackling of leaves is almost eerie. Instead I hear the gentle sound of movement in the trees, their branches heavy with the imminent reawakening from winter's slumber.

I am finding spring all around me, my Crocuses and Siberian Irises are up, bringing the first hint of color to our yard. The Pieris is heavy with buds, soon to bless us with it's Easter fragrance. Daffodils and Tulips are just beginning to reveal the success of their upward journey through the soil.

I am organic - of that I have always been sure. I am never so creative or alive as I am sitting in the spring sunlight, letting the first warm rays of the sun stir my soul. Those days are still a few weeks away, but I am sensing hope in the knowledge that the sun's warmth will come again. And I dream of a chance to write something beautiful again.

Dreams

Last night I had a very strange dream...The details aren't significant, I don't think. It was a typically disjointed dream, but nothing particularly notable about it.

Except for one thing. In my dream there was a clear reference to a verse of scripture. I have never had a dream about a specific verse before, that I am aware of. I have seen or heard Biblical quotes before, but never by the 'address' like this. So I believe there is some significance to this.

I awoke with the words "James 2:12" in my head.

James 2:12 "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom,"

I think I grasp the meaning and context, and I am thoroughly able to do my own research, which I will. However, as part of my research I want to know what you think.

Does James 2:12 mean anything in particular to anyone?

Recent Reading

Posts I have read recently...

I Am Free - Pharga via YBMT

"I am free from the need to use human means to define God. Even the word is only used because a blank space would never be understood."

How unhappy can you be with this "evangelical" thing? iMonk.

"I absolutely reject the “Code of Silence” that grows up in churches, institutions, denominations and movements. It’s unhealthy to declare critics, exhorters and prophets as “traitors” to the communities they serve. What we say about those who tell the truth says whether we value the truth, or just want propaganda."

The Gutter Review - John Smulo

"This book raises questions that I've struggled with for a long time. Questions like...Why do we isolate ourselves from people who are different from us?"

Awestruck - Kansas Bob

Bob shares video of Nick Vujicic, who was born with no arms or legs. Nick tours around the world, preaching about overcoming challenges and adversity.

Kansas Bob says

"I am awestruck ... this video changed my view of suffering and overcoming pain."

Homeless Man Speaks - Today at the Mission

"Homeless Man Speaks" is the blog of a homeless man in Toronto, posted with the assistance of his friend, Philip...after reading the blog for a while it seems like Tony is your friend, too. I highly recommend it."

Boxless

My LettersFromLeavers post is up.



Edit: I guess you will have to create a useename and password in order to comment over there. If you don't want to, you can always comment here instead.

Dry Spell

Hi all. I realized I haven't posted anything original for almost 2 weeks. Sorry, I just haven't had much to say lately. Lots I've been pondering, but nothing has really gelled recently.

I'm processing through a range of emotions regarding church and what that means for me. I have been having strange dreams, none of which I seem to remember the details of, but I awake with spiritual questions and a feeling of deep reflection on where I've been and where I'm going. Over the last few weeks I have begun to gain a new sense of purpose, but I'm not really sure what it means. It's strange.

Some of you might have wondered about the new blog. Well...I was going through a phase of wanting to shed my decompressing skin - but I have been rethinking that step. To tell you the truth, this is one of those times where I am really wanting to do something and I'm just not feeling released in my spirit to go ahead with it. I'm not really sure why, but I have no sense of peace about it. We have covered all the technical issues and it's really pretty much ready other than uploading my header images. There's no logical reason not to go ahead with it. I just feel this inexplicable anxiety about it.

It very well could be a situation where I had what I thought was a great idea and I ran with it. I wasn't sure where God was on the subject, but I figured He's come around eventually. Isn't it funny how we treat God like a person? Like we can sell Him on some great idea if we just try hard enough? But I can't deny that God just doesn't seem to be onboard with it and He won't tell me why. Have you ever had that happen?

When we have an idea, in my experience there are three ways God could respond. Sometimes He says "Yes", sometimes He says "Wait", and sometimes He says "No". I'm just uncertain which it is this time.

I am hoping to come to some conclusion about it soon. If I don't move, I will be bringing this blog up under my domain name - so that will still happen. It's not at all an anxiety about using my name. It's more a sense that this is where I'm supposed to be. I can't really explain it.

And we wonder why people hate "Christians"

I was reading today at LettersFromLeavers. I strongly encourage you to read this letter. Be prepared to cry. Here are some excerpts, but please go read it all if you have the time.

*** Quoted text removed, see Third Edit below***

I am not asserting that this individual's experiences are the "norm" in Christianity; maybe, maybe not. What I'm asserting is should these events EVER take place in Christianity at all?

And we wonder why Christians are looked at with such enmity? This letter is a painful reminder of how downright evil we can be; even as we speak Jesus' blessed name through the other side of our mouths.

EDIT: It seems this letter has been removed from the Letters From Leavers site. I don't know why, but I speculate that there was some question as to the authenticity of the letter.

Pam commented that it seemed fishy to her.

My reply to her comment:

"My point is that fundamentalism is toxic. Obviously this person has had some horrible experiences in the church and I don't doubt that fundamentalism is largely responsible for that.

Bottom line point of this post: we can't continue to make excuses for fundamentalist spiritual abuse. Whether or not all or any of this letter is true, we know it happens. We know it sucks. Christians or not there is no excuse."

Second Edit: Tim Bower, one of the co-creators of Letters From Leavers left a comment here that the letter was removed by its author, not by anyone affiliated with the site. Tim also said he has "no question about its veracity".

Third Edit: After some consideration, I have chosen to remove the excerpts that I have posted of the letter out of respect for the fact that the author removed the original post from the Letters From Leavers site. I'm very sorry for any confusion, but I feel that in this case, if the author changed their mind about the publication of their thoughts, I should honor that.

Busy Weekend

This weekend we ("we" being my entire extended family) are moving my grandparents out of what has been their home for the last 55 years or so, and into a retirement community.

Needless to say this will probably consume most of our weekend, so don't be surprised if you don't see much of me here, or out in blogdom.

Have a great weekend!

Not in Eden Anymore

I'm sorry. That's a clever title for a goofy post. Don't mean to mislead you.

Us Oregonians, if you haven't realized it yet, are a kooky bunch. We are the very definition of eccentricity. We love our rights and freedoms and we will sometimes exploit them to the max.

However, every once in awhile, some Oregonian is just weird enough to offend even us, the chronically unoffendable.

This crazy dude in Ranier, Oregon likes to walk around, uh, nekkid. On his own property. In front of neighbors. In front of passers-by. In front of the local school bus.

Officials say because he's on his own property, he can do what he wants as long as he's not engaging in "lewd" behavior. There is some debate as to whether or not he has ever engaged in said "lewd" behavior. At least he's never been caught.

Oh, one more thing.

"He is currently free on bail, facing 50 counts of Encouraging Child Sexual Abuse after police searched his home in 2005 and found boxes and computer hard drives filled with child pornography. He goes to trial in late September."

People in the neighborhood have had enough so they went to the news.

Read the story at KATU.com

Within his rights; or a danger to society?

How (Not) To Leave a Dog

"HILLSBORO, Ore. -- Washington County Animal Services responded to a call this morning to help a stray dog at Elmonica Station, a residential and business office complex near 170th Avenue in Beaverton. The finder, an employee with Avenue Development, LLC, found the emaciated dog in a crate near the complex' dumpster area. According to the responding Animal Control Officer (ACO) and the finder, the female dog had been abandoned. The officer brought the dog to the Bonnie L. Hays Small Animal Shelter in Hillsboro, where she received immediate care.

The dog, a miniature Schnauzer, should normally weigh about 15 pounds. She weighed in this morning at 7.6 pounds. "

Sigh. Read the rest at KATU.com

We recently made the decision that we would have to re-home at least one of our two huskies. It was a difficult decision we made over the course of 4 months, due to a number of ireconcilable factors. When we came to the conclusion that this needed to happen, we decided we would be diligent in how we proceeded. We placed an ad on Craigslist with the text "only experienced husky owners need apply". We interviewed everyone who came to see our dogs. When we finally found a good match, we included a home visit before we decided definitively. It was a 6 week process, but we are pleased with the owner we chose. Our girl is happy and healthy in her new home.

We know, I mean really KNOW, how hard it can be to be a dog owner. We know it can cause all kinds of problems, not the least of which financial. We know not everyone has the ability to go through a lengthy screening process. We know it can be embarrassing to admit that you can no longer care for your dog. We know sometimes there just is no time.

But seriously, people, there are many more humane ways to re-home your dog.

If you aren't willing to post on Craigslist and screen adopters yourself, and if you don't want to go through your local humane society, then please PLEASE look into your local rescue organization for the specific breed you own.

In this case, Miniature Schnauzer Rescue, Inc., right here in Portland.

An Interesting Debut

Letters From Leavers debuted today:

"If you have moved on from church, we want to hear from you. Speak up and express your thoughts and feelings. Post a letter to this blog about your church experience and why you left. Write your letter with a specific church in mind or address it to the Church as a whole. It's up to you. We created this website to be a safe space for those who have left to freely tell their stories. Please tell us yours."

HT TSK

Worst Company in America

The Consumerist is holding the first round of voting in the:

"2007 Worst Company in America" Contest.

The contestants?

The RIAA
United Airlines
Best Buy
U-Haul
Comcast
Sony
Time Warner Cable
Exxon
Halliburton
News Corp.
AT&T/Cingular/SBC
Clear Channel
Verizon
Bank of America
Monsanto
Wal-Mart

Anyone have any horror stories to share about any of these companies?

For a great laugh...

from the Emerging Women blog...

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just
didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work
to do.

AMEN!

Have a great day!

Comments

Hey - I just want to thank everyone for all the great comments today. I have been away from the computer almost all day and I just have a second right now to say thanks.

Luv ya'all and I'll respond in the morning.

Happy heart day!

Googe

In case anyone wondered what is wrong with this picture...



...you can find out here and here. Clever.

Love is...?

...having children who still hug me.



When I was a girl we had this book. "Love is...Walking Hand in Hand" by Charles M. Schulz.

Inside, it is page after page of "Love is..." quotes, Peanuts style.

Today, I can't really remember any of the sayings, but I do have a question for you.

What is love to you? Format your answer Charles Schulz style...

"Love is..."

Two things I read today...

...that moved me.

John O'Keefe at Ginkworld relates visiting a church that has no handles on the exterior doors.

"that's right, the church has no handles on the doors leading into any part of the church. the only way into the church is to have a key, or be let in by someone who is in the building. no one is able to just "walk in," and you can never just "visit" without being allowed in. [in fact, to "visit" the church requires that you stop by the security office, sign in and get a visitors pass] when we pointed this out to some of the people who attend the church they had some very interesting responses -

"one women said, "well we do have a great deal of homeless people in the area and they are always coming by for help. so we had the doors replaced so they could not just walk in." well, God forbid a homeless person should ever approach a church for help; i mean what are they thinking? do they actually think we care? do they actually think we are to welcome "those" people into our clean, well kept, over priced church? after all, they did not have anything to do with the building of the church."

Huh. Thought provoking. How many of us have removed the handles from our spirituality, lest anyone "taint" us? I suggest you head over there and read the rest of it.


And my friend TrailLady posts on "Confirmation" about her questions regarding Church and Kingdom. Powerful stuff. Go give her some love, as her and her family are soon to be in the midst of a state-to-state move.

"The Bible offers principles, but does not apply them to every situation. This leaves room for the human being to exercise his/her God-given intelligence and make a judgement call on any issue based on conviction.

...

"Last Sunday I was in a grocery store when a young couple with kids got in line behind me. They wore T-shirts that said, "The Church has left the building. We're trying to make a difference in our community". Overwhelmed with curiousity, I said "hello" and asked, "How do you make a difference?" The lady replied, "Well, we paint things, pick up trash, deliver food, plant flowers & build stuff. Basically, we look for a need in our community and try to meet it." I said, "I like that! What church do you represent?" To which, she said, "We're not affiliated with any church, we are part of a Kingdom."

...

"My idea of helping God was to do something BIG. I meant well, but I was in a holding pattern, working myself into a position where I could do great things and have the most influence. However, little gestures faithfully done can make the biggest difference in the end. Some of the most powerful people in my life did simple, thoughtful things to show they cared. Being a Daniel, Moses or a Joshua is wonderful and inspiring, but in a way, it takes more faith to be an average Joe Christian who is genuinely nice to his co-worker and neighbor."

A Little Fun...

...never hurt anyone.

Over on my Grammy Love post, Pam and I are talking music, and we got a little onto the subject of One Hit Wonders. Or at least I did.

I found this list at Wikipedia - it's VH-1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders.

Which is your favorite?

1. Los del Río - "Macarena" (1996) #1 (14 weeks) US
2. Soft Cell - "Tainted Love" (1982) #8 US
3. Dexy's Midnight Runners - "Come On Eileen" (1983) #1 (1 week) US
4. Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy" (1992) #1 (3 weeks) US
5. Toni Basil - "Mickey" (1982) #1 (1 week) US
6. Baha Men - "Who Let the Dogs Out" (2000) #40 US
7. Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby" (1990) #1 (1 week) US
8. a-ha - "Take On Me" (1985) #1 (1 week) US
9. Gerardo - "Rico Suave" (1991) #7 US
10. Nena - "99 Luftballons" (1984) #2 (1 week) US
11. Debby Boone - "You Light Up My Life" (1977) #1 (10 weeks) US
12. Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Baby Got Back" (1992) #1 (5 weeks) US
13. Van McCoy - "The Hustle" (1975) #1 (1 week) US
14. Deee-Lite - "Groove Is In the Heart" (1990) #4 US
15. ? and the Mysterians - "96 Tears" (1966) #1 (1 week) US
16. Sugarhill Gang - "Rapper's Delight" (1980) #36 US
17. Twisted Sister - "We're Not Gonna Take It" (1984) #21 US
18. Sinéad O'Connor - "Nothing Compares 2 U" (1990) #1 (4 weeks) US
19. Iron Butterfly - "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" (1968) #30 US
20. Thomas Dolby - "She Blinded Me With Science" (1983) #5 US
21. Gary Numan - "Cars" (1980) #9 US
22. Wild Cherry - "Play That Funky Music" (1976) #1 (3 weeks) US
23. Chumbawamba - "Tubthumping" (1997) #6 US
24. Devo - "Whip It" (1980) #14 US
25. Kajagoogoo - "Too Shy" (1983) #5 US
26. Suzi Quatro - "Stumblin' In" (1979) #4 US
27. M - "Pop Muzik" (1979) #1 (1 week) US
28. Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock - "It Takes Two" (1988) #36 US
29. Musical Youth - "Pass the Dutchie" (1983) #10 US
30. Terry Jacks - "Seasons In the Sun" (1974) #1 (3 weeks) US
31. EMF - "Unbelievable" (1991) #1 (1 week) US
32. Buster Poindexter - "Hot, Hot, Hot" (1988) #67 US
33. Cheryl Lynn - "Got to Be Real" (1979) #12 US
34. Starland Vocal Band - "Afternoon Delight" (1976) #1 (2 weeks) US
35. Meredith Brooks - "Bitch" (1997) #2 (4 weeks) US
36. The Vapors - "Turning Japanese" (1980) #36 US
37. Modern English - "I Melt With You" (1982) #53 US
38. Billy Paul - "Me & Mrs. Jones" (1972) #1 (3 weeks) US
39. The Verve - "Bittersweet Symphony" (1997) #12 US
40. Big Country - "In A Big Country" (1983) #17 US
41. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - "Relax" (1985) #10 US
42. Nick Gilder - "Hot Child In the City" (1978) #1 (1 week) US
43. The Heights - "How Do You Talk to an Angel" (1992) #1 (2 weeks) US
44. Falco - "Rock Me Amadeus" (1986) #1 (3 weeks) US
45. The Cardigans - "Lovefool" (1996) #2 (8 weeks) US Airplay
46. Bobby McFerrin - "Don't Worry, Be Happy" (1988) #1 (2 weeks) US
47. Gary Glitter - "Rock & Roll, Part 2" (1972) #7 US
48. Spandau Ballet - "True" (1983) #4 US
49. Vicki Sue Robinson - "Turn the Beat Around" (1976) #10 US
50. Divinyls - "I Touch Myself" (1991) #4 US
51. The Proclaimers - "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" (1993) #3 US
52. Tom Tom Club - "Genius of Love" (1982) #31 US
53. Rockwell - "Somebody's Watching Me" (1984) #2 (3 weeks) US
54. David Naughton - "Makin' It" (1979) #5 US
55. Weather Girls - "It's Raining Men" (1982) #46 US
56. Minnie Riperton - "Lovin' You" (1975) #1 (1 week) US
57. Brownsville Station - "Smokin' In the Boys Room" (1973) #3 US
58. Haddaway - "What Is Love" (1993) #11 US
59. Tommy Tutone - "867-5309/Jenny" (1982) #4 US
60. Andrea True Connection - "More, More, More" (1976) #4 US
61. Ratt - "Round and Round" (1984)
62. Timbuk 3 - "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" (1986) #19 US
63. House of Pain - "Jump Around" (1992) #3 US
64. New Radicals - "You Get What You Give" (1998) #36 US
65. Mary Jane Girls - "In My House" (1985) #7 US
66. Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5" (1999) #3 US
67. Faith No More - "Epic" (1989) #9 US
68. Edwyn Collins - "A Girl Like You" (1995) #32 US
69. Lipps, Inc. - "Funkytown" (1980) #1 (4 weeks) US
70. Vicki Lawrence - "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" (1973) #1 (2 weeks) US
71. OMC - "How Bizarre" (1997) #4 US Airplay
72. Michael Sembello - "Maniac" (1983) #1 (2 weeks) US
73. C.W. McCall - "Convoy" (1975) #1 (1 week) US
74. Digable Planets - "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" (1993) #15 US
75. Charlene - "I've Never Been to Me" (1982) #3 US
76. Jermaine Stewart - "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" (1986) #5 US
77. Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - "What I Am" (1988) #7 US
78. Crash Test Dummies - "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (1994) #4 US
79. Taco - "Puttin' On the Ritz" (1983) #4 US
80. Quiet Riot - "Cum on Feel the Noize" (1983) #5 US
81. Biz Markie - "Just a Friend" (1990) #9 US
82. The Waitresses - "I Know What Boys Like" (1982) #48 US
83. Men Without Hats - "The Safety Dance" (1983) #3 US
84. Des'ree - "You Gotta Be" (1994) #5 US
85. Norman Greenbaum - "Spirit In the Sky" (1970) #3 US
86. Young MC - "Bust a Move" (1989) #7 US
87. Thelma Houston - "Don't Leave Me This Way" (1977) #1 (1 week) US
88. Aqua - "Barbie Girl" (1997) #7 US
89. Billy Ray Cyrus - "Achy Breaky Heart" (1992) #4 US
90. Jane Child - "Don't Wanna Fall In Love" (1990) #2 (3 weeks) US
91. Eddy Grant - "Electric Avenue" (1983) #2 (5 weeks) US
92. T'Pau - "Heart and Soul" (1987) #4 US
93. David Soul - "Don't Give Up On Us" (1977) #1 (1 week) US
94. 4 Non Blondes - "What's Up?" (1993) #14 US
95. Jeannie C. Riley - "Harper Valley PTA" (1968) #1 (1 week) US
96. Bow Wow Wow - "I Want Candy" (1982) #62 US
97. Tag Team - "Whoomp! (There It Is)" (1993) #2 (7 weeks) US
98. Stacey Q - "Two of Hearts" (1986) #3 US
99. Blind Melon - "No Rain" (1993) #20 US
100. Carl Douglas - "Kung Fu Fighting" (1974) #1 (2 weeks) US

Scars

My friend Pam blogged about being "Scarred" the other day. Interesting post.

A few personal things I have learned about my emotional scars...

I have tried so many "methods" by which to be healed of emotional pain. I have prayed, fasted, counseled, read, done theophostic (that's not a typo, I do NOT mean theosophic), completed a number of "programs". I have drank, I have suffered deep depression. I have wanted to run. I have churched myself to death. I have hated.

But every approach that I have experienced has focused on trying to "rid" me of the pain, and it has never worked. Some of those things worked to "medicate" the pain, sure, but when I quit the "meds", the pain was still there.

So I began to wonder if there wasn't something I was missing. Maybe focusing on "losing" the pain was the problem. They say "you can't change the past". I know that's true. However, if I'm trying to be rid of the pain of the past, that is like trying to change the past by trying to make the past to no longer be painful. Get it?

Some things will always hurt. Always. Until the day we die. And as long as we think there is some method by which we can make past hurts feel like roses instead of knives, we are setting ourselves up for depression; because nothing will ever make that happen.

I'm not saying to ditch whatever healthy coping/healing methods you may be using - whether it be taking antidepressants, seeing a counselor, or fasting and praying. Or all of the above.

I am saying we need to be careful what kind of results we are looking for. Jesus heals, of that I am sure. But like everything else we pray for, emotional healing doesn't come in a neat little package under the Christmas tree, and it's never exactly what we asked for. With that, it's easy to miss the healing Jesus brings, because it doesn't look, or feel, like we expect it to; and it often takes a helluvalot longer than we think it should.

I'm still learning all the ways by which this pain has impacted my life. I'm still trying to figure out what healing looks like.

But I'm learning.

Learning to embrace my scars, to consider them a part of who I am, and to consider the benefit my experiences might be to someone else - those things bring healing.

Learning that the scars will never become invisible brings healing. The scars might hurt less, with time, but they are always there.

Learning that wisdom comes with scars. With every trauma comes grace. Grace creates wisdom.

Learning that while forgiveness isn't easy, it's not anyone else's problem but mine. In other words, hating someone doesn't usually hurt them, it only hurts me. As long as I'm willing to live with secret hate in the hope that it will hurt my enemy, I will not heal.

Learning to look at the positives my pain has brought me. Friendships I would not have had if we did not have pain in common. Wisdom to avoid certain wrong choices because of the pain those choices caused me in the past. The value of learning how to extend grace to other hurting people, even people who have pain only because they have hurt themselves.

Learning that most of our our pain and trauma usually stems from childhood. If someone did something that hurt me as a child, I will respond to that same type of hurt the same way, well into adulthood. If, as a child, the people who told me they loved me also told me I was fat, lazy and worthless; then as an adult, when someone tells me they love me, I will automatically translate that in my head as being insincere at best, deliberately hurtful at worst. I will choose not to believe it actually means LOVE, even when it really does mean LOVE, unless I purposefully learn to respond to differently.

Learning to see my pain through Jesus' eyes. It's easy to blame Him for not rescuing us from painful events. The truth is we will never understand why bad things happen, not this side of eternity, anyhow. So I have to ask Him how He might want to use my pain to create something good.

These are just some things I was motivated to share. I could talk about it all day, but you all have better things to do.

Have a great one!

The Consumerist...

...shoppers bite back!

One website I find myself following more and more these days is The Consumerist. I never fail to learn something interesting there about how badly big business is treating the "little guy".

From their Media Page:

"The Consumerist loves to shop, and is reconciled to utilities, but hates paying for shoddy products, inhumane customer support, and half-assed service.

Each week The Consumerist will guide you through the delinquencies of retail and service organizations. The Consumerist will highlight the persistent, shameless boners of modern consumerism -- and the latest hot deals, discounts, and freebies around.

Join us. You'll tell us when you've been royally screwed by yet another company, and we'll channel your rage. Together we will storm the revolving doors of faceless corporations to call them naughty words for genitals, and they will begin to fear us.

The Consumerist. Capitalism is broken. We'll help you fix it."

The Consumerist is published by Gawker Media, which also publishes Lifehacker, Gizmodo and Idolater, to name a few.

Warning: this is not a site to visit if you have trouble with elevated blood pressure. Some days you will want to scream. However, the resolutions some people's issues come to, because they involved The Consumerist, are very interesting and sometimes even make you want to cheer for the measures of good customer service that are offered after a few teeth are pulled. Consider The Consumerist to be the Dentist For Big Business.

Essentially, I like to learn about businesses who have horrible service track records. This site, more and more, motivates me to stick with small and locally-owned businesses as much as possible.

Small business cares about your dollars, which translates to caring about you. Big business? Not so much.

I encourage you to check it out.

Grammy Love and Questions for You...

I am watching the Grammy's. I hate that we see it here hours after it's originally broadcast, and CNN is already posting the results.

I have been watching the Grammy's since I was 14. That year, "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner won Song of the Year. Does that date me?

Anyhow, I have missed a few, but overall I try to catch them. There definitely was a season where I avoided them, because the church had taught me that popular music would poison my mind. What I learned since then it the church poisoned my mind against the music of my life. Isn't there a Culture Club song about that or something???

I am a music person. This is by no means suggesting I'm musically talented. I'm so very NOT. But music defines my life. I am overwhelmed by the complete strangers out there who are able to articulate what's in my heart so eloquently. I know that often the released recording of a song is performed by people who are completely unrelated to the song's origins, i.e. they didn't write it...I can't help that music moves me.

I am rarely without music. In my house, in my car, at my computer, working out., when I write...it's my world. The soundtrack of my life...

Name any song that had reasonably popular radio play since 1982, and I can tell you what year it was (based on how old I was) and what was going on in my life at the time. The exceptions of my expertise are between 1999 and 2004, I was too busy raising babies and listening to CCM to keep up with what was on the radio. Try me.

So we know that music is important...

The other thing I notice is this: When people win, they stand up and share a long list of "Thank You's". God, Mama, husband/wife, manager, piano teacher...it's so interesting to me to see who people thank. It tells so much about them and who/what they value.

So questions for ya...

1) What one song defines you? One song that speaks volumes about who you are?

2) If you were to get up on a stage today and thank people who made you who you are today, the people who shaped you, who would you thank, and why?

Anyone want to share...?

LOST

Reminder: If any of you forgot about it during the idiotic extra-long hiatus...

LOST returns tonight.

But...

At 10PM!

Be there!

Just in case you wondered...

We're still running into issues getting my domain transferred to Google for the new site, i.e., it's not working.

Sigh. Google is my friend.

Anyhow, things will be on hold until we can get it taken care of. Sorry. It pretty much sucks, but nothing I can do about it.

Authenticity...Grace and Truth at the table...

Yesterday my friend Gary Means posted about The Hunger for Authenticity.

"For years I have heard people speaking of a longing for authenticity in the Church...This morning I find myself wondering that that means. What does that look like? Does it mean an environment where I feel understood, and free to be me? Does it mean that others are sincere in their beliefs, even if they are totally unlike me, and I feel that I must be quiet? I can point to a few "authentic" friendships that I have. What is it that makes them seem that way to me?...I do not fear that I will be judged and rejected by the other person. Perhaps that's what the world needs from us. Perhaps that's why Christianity is so widely reviled, because people feel judged and rejected."

So...

Why is it so hard to have truly authentic relationships?

I think one HUGE aspect of the problem with authenticity is that there are GRACE people and there are TRUTH people. Ideally we ought to be a balance of both, but we generally lean one way or another.

I've listed some unqualified, unscientific observations based on personal experience.

Grace People...

• Are more likely to have "external" addictions: alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual addiction, shopping addiction, food addiction etc.
• Tend to lie to themselves: "What can it hurt?"
  
• Hate that truth people try to get them to "follow the rules".
• Have the motto "We ALL are messed up, but we're OK".
• Are more interested in learning to cope with the environment they live in.
  
• Are easy to judge because their "issues" are usually pretty obvious.
• Are easy to relate to because they tend to be more open with themselves, idealistically believing that others will extend grace to them like they do to others.
  
• Are rarely shocked at any confession anyone might make; in fact they will want to help make it all better, getting involved in people's problems maybe more than they should.
  
• Can't understand why Truth people won't "lighten up and love a little".
  
• Will become codependent to people with obvious issues.
• Will try to solve your issues by smothering you with their love.
• Will express love for you by accepting you as you are.
• Tend to have trouble being authentic for fear of being judged by Truth people.

Truth people...

• Are more likely to suffer from "internal" addictions: performance addiction, following the rules, doing better, being better, winning, succeeding.
• Tend to lie to themselves: "Everything will be ruined if I fail".
  
• Hate that grace people don't "follow the rules".
• Have the motto "We ALL need to be better than we are".
• Are more interested in controlling the environment they live in.
  
• Are hard to judge because their issues are often deep under the surface.
  
• Are hard to relate to because they fear being judged they way they judge others.
  
• Are often shocked at people's confessions, and try to fix them by preaching and teaching and lecturing.
  
• Can't understand why Grace people don't "See the error of their ways".
• Will try to distance themselves from people with obvious issues.
• Will try to shame people into changing.
  
• Will express love for you by trying to motivate you to improve yourself.
• Tend to have trouble being authentic for fear of seeming weak to Grace people.

Can you see the need for balance? My husband is one, I am the other, very clearly. We both struggle for balance, but that's why God put us together - we are both extreme people but we balance each other well. Oh, we have some great arguments, but we usually both end up more towards the middle than in the extremes.

Do you know which one you are?

Do any of you see yourself not fitting the mold?

Is there someone in your life who "balances" you?




So how can these two types of people learn to be authentic with each other?

I have some thoughts on that for a later post, but I want to know what YOU think.

Fathers be good to your (virgin) daughters...

From "Would you Pledge your virginity to your Father?" by Jennifer Baumgardner, at Glamour.com

If you have a daughter, would you send your daughter to a ball where she pledges her virginity to her father?

OK, it's not quite as sinister as it seems. It's called a "Purity Ball", where fathers and daughters attend together and the father pledges to protect his daughter's purity and the daughter pledges to save her virginity for her eventual marriage. Daughters as young as 10 years old attend such events. Daughters and their dads get all gussied up, have dinner and dancing, and the girls are given rings by their fathers.

"The event’s purpose is, in part, to celebrate dad-daughter bonding, but the main agenda is for fathers to vow to protect the girls’ chastity until they marry and for the daughters to promise to stay pure."

If you have a daughter or daughters, do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?

If you have only sons (like me), how do you feel? Do you think your son(s) should pledge their virginity to their mothers? Why do you think nothing is said here about boys' virginity?

If you are lucky enough to parent both girls and boys, how do you feel about this? Is it more important or more difficult for girls than boys to remain virgins until marriage? Is that why all the hoopla over girls? Why is nothing said about boys taking responsibility for their own purity? Is it just assumed that boys will not remain virgins until marriage?

Is sexual purity more important than any other kind of purity that we need to make it so front and center? Isn't it more important to foster intimate relationships between girls and their Heavenly Father than to be this intimate with their earthly father?

Do you think these events could/would have any impact on the potential for abuse, sexual or otherwise, between fathers and their daughters?

Two interesting quotes I want to leave you with:

"Disturbingly, the adolescent health study...found that STD rates were significantly higher in communities with a high proportion of pledgers. “Pledgers are less likely than nonpledgers to use condoms, so if they do have sex it is less safe,” says Peter Bearman, Ph.D., a Columbia University sociologist who helped design the study. For these teens, he believes, it’s a mind game: If you have condoms, you were planning to have sex. If you don’t, sex wasn’t premeditated, which makes it more OK. The study also found that even pledgers who remained virgins were highly likely to have oral and anal sex—risky behavior given that most probably didn’t use condoms to cut their risk."

and conversely:

"Leaders of the abstinence movement firmly believe, however, that teaching kids about the mechanics of sex and contraception “arouses” them, sparking them to have sex. They claim that those who break their vows were not “strong” pledgers to begin with, and that many more teens do keep them (teens the researchers didn’t speak to). “Kids who abstain are not out there breaking hearts; they’re not dogs in heat. They go on to have great, intimate sex,” says Leslee Unruh, president of the Abstinence Clearinghouse. “The purity movement celebrates sex but not sex outside of commitment.”

If anyone wants to discuss, I'll weigh in a little later.


via Willzhead

Sign O the Times?

Over at CNET, they are talking about which Super Bowl commercials were the real winners.

Scientists studied the neurological reactions of some people who were watching the various Super Bowl commercials, and decided that the Coke "Video Game" spot...

"...scored this year because it elicited the most positive emotions in subjects' brains. Coke's ad did well because it engaged a full range of emotions, including the mirror region, which is associated with connection and empathy," said Joshua Freedman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at UCLA and co-founder of FKF Applied Research."

Where am I going with this...

Oh, yeah...

You see, in the Coke "Video Game" commercial, the guy commits a number of "random acts of kindness", which is decidedly in alignment with what ought to be the real values of the Church. (Notice I didn't play favorites with the emerging church there? I was tempted to.)

But the real kicker for me is this: towards the end, there are two people standing with sandwich/reader boards saying "The End is Near". This guy spins them around, and the back of their sandwich boards say "Give a Little Love".

Is this a sign of the times? Because for me I see something interesting - don't these sandwich boards pretty accurately echo the sentiments of the evolving church? Maybe they echo the changing of society as a whole - from one of fundamentalism to one of love?

Back in the 70's, Coke had a commercial featuring a song where it was said "I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony..." which was a decidedly progressive and multicultural ad for way back then. I managed to find it at You Tube, if you'd like to travel memory lane....I always wonder where old stuff like this comes from...I guess someone had their VCR going at the time or something.

So the idea of love and harmony is not new to Coke.

Not that we want a beverage made of sugar and chemicals (or just chemicals, for the diet versions) to be the spokesperson for the mission of the church...but how could a giant socially and environmentally irresponsible business conglomerate like Coke learn these lessons before we Christians did - and how is it they are sticking to this message still, after so many years?

What could we learn from this? That, over the years, we Christians have not had our finger on the pulse of culture nearly as much as we like to think we have, and Coca-Cola has?

No, I think we just need to sit back and say "yeah, well maybe Coke got the message right, but we have the living water of eternal life..."

Kidding.

In all honesty, I think I want to be scientific here...

If this ad was the one that elicited such tremendous positive neurological reactions in the brain - I think we need to steal from that data.

If the message of love and kindness is how people are most likely to engage with commercial products - how much more likely are they to engage with the God of the universe through the same message?

Wrong or right, I think we need to take a look at that.

Stop the Cat Box

If you were more than 10 years old in 1982, you probably loved the song Rock the Casbah by The Clash. You and your friends may have had a great time trying to decipher the lyrics, unless someone was lucky enough to have the album with liner notes.

Recently, you may have seen a Cingular commercial featuring this same song and the phenomenon known as mondegreen - the accidental mishearing of a phrase so it takes on a new meaning.

In the Cingular commercial, two men are discussing the lyrics of the infamous Clash song, and both have different interpretations of the words. The idiocy of mishearing lyrics that are part of a song's title notwithstanding... "Rock the Cashbox" and "Stop the Cat Box" are making a good point. I wonder if there's not a lesson in this.

At the risk of oversimplifying and being deeply irreverent in the following analogy, did any of us enjoy this (or any) song less because we didn't understand every stinkin' word? Didn't we enjoy debating the lyrics to this, or any other song, with our friends? Did our discussions serve any purpose beyond the drawing of more attention, more advertising, if you will, to the song in question? What happened when someone turned up with the liner notes or an edition of Tiger Beat or some such teen'zine that had the actual lyrics in it? "Ooooh Yeah, I was right all along!" Did some people still insist on singing their own versions of lyrics to the commonly misheard songs? Why is that? Just to be rebellious, or because the song sometimes meant more to them in their own understanding of the words? Likewise, so many people insist that theirs is the only correct version - especially if they feel they obtained understanding of the correct lyrics from a reliable source...usually from the original author.

We might like to think that with misheard lyrics there is always a right answer and a wrong answer. Sometimes there is only one right answer, but many times there's not. Or "there snot". Depending how you hear it.

So here's the interesting thing. Some of the most commonly misheard lyrics in the world are from the Jimi Hendrix song Purple haze, where it is said the lyrics were intended to be "Kiss the sky" but are commonly heard as "Kiss this guy". In fact the KissThisGuy.com entry for this mishearing of these particular lyrics is said to be submitted by "just about every living human being".

But...

Ensuing discussion over the years has turned up some interesting feedback from people who heard Jimi perform this song live.

It is now said that Jimi himself performed the lyrics both ways on different occasions. He liked to "mix it up" and that he very well may have slurred his words in the studio recording deliberately in order to confuse people, and maybe, just maybe, to pay homage to a song by blues legend Elmore James, in which the words "the sky" are heard as "this guy". So there.

This is not to say that every lyric of every song is debatable. There are many lyrics that we all agree on because they are clear and concise.

At even greater risk of being considered seriously heretical, I wonder if God intended there to sometimes be differing interpretations of His Word? Maybe there isn't meant to always be one answer to the lyrics of the Bible. OK, some things are probably definitive, but some things not. Then again, when it comes to the Bible, we can't even agree on which things are debatable and which are not. A debate about a debate. This could go on for a very long time.

Or we could just say that there is only ONE author of the Bible, God Himself, and until we are each given the opportunity to ask the author directly what His meaning of certain things way, maybe we need to agree to disagree and enjoy the process of discussing the possibilities.

For me, the debates always go back to one thing - God is a seriously creative dude. He didn't make one kind of flowers, he made millions. He didn't create one kind of human, He made billions of different ones. I'm not sure He created ONE understanding of the Bible, either.

Sometimes the Bible could mean more to each of us in our own understanding - however a passage speaks to us personally. If that understanding brings each of us closer to God, is it really all that wrong if we disagree? Is it possible that God created debatable passages for the purpose of debate?

We already do it in Bible studies where we each share what a passage of scripture meant to us; but only within certain boundaries? If we can each draw our own meaning out of a passage, but only within reason (the word "reason" here being a problem for me in and of itself), who decides what that "reason" is? Another debate...

In the Biblical times, Jewish scholars loved to passionately debate their personal interpretations of scripture especially the debate about which command was most important. I guess it's good to know that even then there were common disagreements about God's intentions behind His words. These debates often drew attention from Gentile bystanders; many of which were hearing the Law for the first time. Obviously at the time there was no such thing as Jewish evangelism - either you were Jewish or you weren't. There was no "converting" to Judaism as I best understand it. But these debates set a precedent in creating a cultural acceptability of debating the word of God.

Maybe the purpose of debate isn't to come to a definitive conclusion about right and wrong of some passage, but rather to draw attention to the passage itself, and to make it clear to people that it's OK to question. In these debates we have, there is one obviously positive outcome - by hearing different perspectives, we all end up with a better understanding of the Nature of our God.

In other words, debate forces discussion, and maybe in discussion we will learn something we didn't know before.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe God has only one intended meaning of each passage of the Bible, but maybe it's less significant that we understand the real and precise meaning as it is to draw us into conversation about the passage.

In any case, I don't think God can hold us accountable to any one understanding of anything that is debated, because it's obvious that it's just impossible for us to ever completely agree on anything. He made us this way, you know?

Maybe instead He just gets a huge kick out of the discussions, because it causes us to talk about HIM and in talking about Him we will know Him better!

Oooh Rock me Hot Potatoes! (and I thought I was the only one who heard it that way!)

I'm the one on the right...

Vacation Notice

Tomorrow begins the 4th annual girls weekend out, with 5 of my bestest friends.

I'll be out of the office from Friday AM until Sunday evening, but I have things to do this evening to prepare the fam for my absence.

Hold down the fort. See you then.

Groundhog Day?

I'm sorry, but I just love that movie. I think it sums up life pretty well.

If you didn't learn anything today, it was a total waste of a day.

Today I learned:

That Parkrose Hardware carries Torx #5 screwdrivers.
That my Treo looks great after I have amputated it's antenna.
That sometimes I don't know when to stay out of a conversation.
That I have friends who look after my blog for me.

Yesterday I learned that I can write FICTION. Whodathunk?

What did you learn today?

Blogger's Technical Issues

Today there are issues with Blogger's comment system on a small number of blogs.

Mine is one.

If you click the "Post a Comment" link and get an error, add 2 to the www. part of the comment address.

So if when you click the comment link, the address will look something like this:

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=16714549&postID=522822784080149924

make it look like this

http://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=16714549&postID=522822784080149924

and it *should* work for you. Of course this is Blogger, so you never know for sure.

Will the outages never cease?