8.26.2007

Synchroblog: Prayer=Sex With God


Disclaimer: This is probably the most transparent post I have ever written, and as such, it is rated PG-13 and may not be appropriate for all audiences.

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I am passionate about prayer; there is nothing more awesome, more amazing, more fulfilling, more intimate. In it's most natural and most powerful state, it is beautiful and raw, unrefined.

If our relationship with God is likened to earthly marriage, prayer is akin to sex in that earthly marriage, and we know sex is the most intimate earthly union between two people. So, prayer is like spiritual sex with God. (And yes guys, God is genderless, a Power, not a Person, so don't get too heebie-jeebie about that.)

But in order to have sex, you have to get naked, wrinkles and cellulite and all. In fact, in all honestly, prayer is like sex with God with the lights on. So often we are afraid to let God truly "see us" because He might think we are ugly, and leave without even so much as having a cigarette. Even Adam and Eve feared being naked before God.

It's easy to talk with God when we are feeling good about ourselves, feeling sexy and healthy. Something we often miss, and I'm convinced it is key to true communion with God, is praying when we really don't want to draw God's attention to our imperfections - when we are in sin, feeling guilty or ashamed, feeling ugly, feeling fat. If we don't pray when we don't want God to see us, we do two things: a) we perpetuate a sense of shame before God that began in the garden, and b) perpetuate a disbelief in God's unconditional love.

When we think we can hide any part of ourselves from the Great I Am, when we think that His love is dependent on our actions - even for one second - when we let our spirituality function in a place of shame, even for a moment, we will begin to doubt God's ability to love us.

This is where Adam and Eve (whether you view the story as literal or metaphorical) messed up. Not that they sinned, but that they thought they needed to hide it. Not that they disobeyed God, but that they believed His love was conditional on their obedience. Rather than simply being honest with God, they first hid their actions, then they made excuses for their actions. I believe their total misjudgment of God's character was the true problem, their sin of doubt is what separated mankind from God.

I follow God simply because even in my deepest, darkest humanity, He has never left me. Even in my promiscuous years, I could talk to God while having sex with a relative stranger, saying "OK, God, I don't know why the hell I'm doing this, but here I am", and hear Him say "And I am with you". Even in a a friends apartment getting completely drunk, you could hear me say, "OK God, don't let me crash my car on the way home, or at least don't let me kill anyone. Please. Thank You". And hear Him say, "Still, I am with you". Even during the night when one of my best friends was cheating on her husband and I could have stopped her but chose not to, I was saying to God "She has a crappy marriage, who am I to judge?" and hear Him say, "I am still with you." Whatever you might think about my behavior or prayers in these situations, the point is not what I said but the fact that I prayed at all.

I'm not prescribing a formula. I'm not saying that as long as we "talk" to God in our sin, it doesn't matter what we do. Our actions still have unpredictable earthly consequences. My drinking as a teenager caused me to make a number of terrible decisions, however, I am choosing not to go so deep as to get into my personal consequences in this post.

I AM saying our willingness to be naked, and to be honest in our nakedness (to have the "lights on"), prevents our sin from having spiritual consequences. God doesn't punish us for our mistakes, we do a damned well enough job of that ourselves. When we are ashamed, we hide from God, we roll over and pull the covers up, hoping He won't notice that we are hiding. When He calls us on it, when he turns on the lights, we will blame others, make up excuses or simply walk away, ashamed of our ugly. Thing is, this behavior simply leads us to believe that God can't handle our nakedness. Then we begin to feel shame. Then we begin to doubt.

Prayer is the natural product of a love affair. It is having confidence in the strength of that love to the point that I no longer fear it can be broken for any reason. Even when having sex with the lights on, God won't be turned off by my imperfections.

Only in my nakedness will I become united with God.

After all, you can't have an intimate marriage without sex.




Please visit the many other "How Do You Pray" Synchroblog participants. The list can be found HERE.


59 comments:

  1. That really resonated with me. Prayer is certainly intimacy - but only if we are willing to take that step and trust that God finds us attractive when we're "naked", even though we ourselves may not. Good post.
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  2. Thanks Barry. I appreciate the vote of confidence, as I'm feeling a little self-conscious about this post. :-|
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  3. ...feeling a little exposed, would you say...? ;-)

    I really love this line:
    "Thing is, this behavior simply leads us to believe that God can't handle our nakedness."

    Wow. Great perspective Erin! Love this post.
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  4. Cindy - Haha you almost made me laugh...

    Thanks for the nice comment. I appreciate you.
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  5. Well, that was, uh, revealing! Good insights... and I've finally got a compelling reason to imagine God as feminine. ;^)

    ...but now I think of you wearing a T-shirt that says "Pray Naked!"
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  6. I like the analogy. Great post. Thanks for being a faithful friend and not pretending to know all the answers.

    Love your picture, by the way!!! Nice to be able to put a face with the name.
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  7. Beautiful analogy Erin.
    Thanks for encouraging me to, "keep the lights on".

    I'm in...I'll post in the morning.
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  8. Brother Maynard - Hm. I'll wear that t-shirt if you'll wear this button. ;-)
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  9. TL - Thanks for stopping by. And you're welcome.
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  10. Erin,

    Beautiful, original, and right on! Thank you for reassuring us about the nature of father and our relation with him!
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  11. Rhonda - Thanks for the encouragement, I look forward to your post.
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  12. Wow, Erin...made me cry.
    I long for that level of intimacy.

    I completed my article...I just linked back to here...hope that's okay...I'm still getting the hang of all this linky stuff..:)
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  13. Che - Thanks. I will pray that you find it. God is a good lover.

    I'm going to go read your post now.
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  14. One advantage of being in the UK - I can post whilst Americans are still in bed :)

    Here is mine http://www.outofthecocoon.co.uk
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  15. Excellent Erin, really beautiful. Thanks for "exposing" yourself!
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  16. This is a very interesting and brings several thoughts to mind. In Genesis 4:1 NKJV it says, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain" and then there's that great line from the movie Sister Act where Vince says, "Because I know this woman. In the biblical sense and she aint no nun." God wants us to know Him in the Biblical sense, that is intimately.

    "I believe their total misjudgment of God's character was the true problem"

    It is surprising that though Adam walked in the garden with God every day he didn't really know God and I think this is why God allow evil to enter the world because it was the only way we were ever going to figure out that God is a God of grace and a God of unconditional love.

    I have also now posted here.
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  17. Erin, you know I would wear that button in a heartbeat if I but had one handy... except for one thing. I'm sure you can appreciate the nature of the theological problem it causes me... I mean, people would see the stance I'm taking and of course, some would just say, "Oh, that issue is so ten years ago." But others would see me as a cutting-edge liberal heretic! And to be honest, it opens up a theological question I haven't finished thinking through yet. Really, ordination? Do we need it at all? Paul wasn't "ordained" in that proper sense, and what with the priesthood of all believers... why thrust women into what might be an outmoded institution when we could just do away with the whole thing?

    ...Had you goin' there, didn't I? ;^)
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  18. Paul - I got your link up. Thanks.
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  19. Lyn - Thanks. I appreciate it.
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  20. Brother Maynard - Hehe I guess I am beginning to get your sense of humor because I could "hear" you laughing from the get-go.

    Anyhow, if I ever have cause to meet you in person, I'll be sure to have one handy. Then we'll see.
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  21. Susan - I love this and was thinking exactly the same thing:

    "It is surprising that though Adam walked in the garden with God every day he didn't really know God and I think this is why God allow evil to enter the world because it was the only way we were ever going to figure out that God is a God of grace and a God of unconditional love."

    I just think that's cool.

    I got your link up. I look forward to reading it.
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  22. Erin, I was skeptical when I saw your title, but I read what you wrote and I'm impressed by the way you developed the analogy.

    It ironically has some ties to my own view on prayer: I stopped praying about six years ago and sometimes I think of my situation as being amicably divorced from God. We're still friends but it works better this way. At least for me.

    If God is indeed love I can't see how what works better for me would work worse for him, but I regularly have Christians try to persuade me to pray again on the basis that God wants me to.

    I thought about synchroblogging on prayer but a) since I don't it seemed barely appropriate if at all and b) I don't want to go that route again of having Christians trying to persuade me to pray.

    I think it's possible I have some sort of wordless communion with God anyway (because people who are close do have such a thing - not telepathy, but, for example, if you walk in the park holding hands and not talking) but - of course that can only be the case if he exists. If he doesn't then that would mean I don't, by definition.
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  23. thanks Erin, prayer and sex strikes me as something that is really good when i focus less on me and more on pleasing the other person - maybe it's the same with God?

    Oh and my synchroblog is here (i know too many posts on prayer on my blog :)

    http://paulmayers.blogs.com/my_weblog/2007/08/praying-and-lea.html
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  24. Helen - Thanks! Hey, you can still post if you want to. I think it would be interesting to hear from you, if you felt so inclined to expand upon your comment here.

    Thanks for sharing that, though. Sometimes atheists and agnostics seem angry, and I can certainly understand how that can happen - whether it be anger at God or His representatives on earth. But it's nice to know some people can split from God and "be amicable".
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  25. Paul - Ahem - sorry about that. If yours is the only one I messed up, then I'm doing well.

    Oh, and I agree with your comment. Good point.
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  26. Erin,

    Since we're all being transparent here... your title scared me. But, after reading your post, I appreciate what you said. "Nakedness" and "intimacy" do go hand-in-hand. Thank you.

    -Alan
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  27. Erin, I can't be sure God isn't mad at me (which is one reason I couldn't handle talking to him any more - because I could never be sure what he said back to me) - it might be wishful thinking on my part that he isn't.

    However it's amicable at my end.
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  28. Alan - Yeah, I think it scared more than a few people. But I'm glad you still read it, ;-)
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  29. Helen - I doubt God is mad at you. I mean, I can't speak for Him, obviously, but I wouldn't be inclined to think so. But it's good that you're not mad at Him.
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  30. Awesome analogy Erin!!
    I'm not much of a prayer myself in the old fashioned sense of the word but do long to have that kind of intimate relationship with God...to know and be known.
    Love ya! and can't wait to get caught up with you in person!!
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  31. Donna - We really do need to catch up but now it will likely be after school starts.

    Glad you liked the post.
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  32. great writing, erin. insightful. it resonates with me. prayer and intimacy and relationship, it's all intertwined, isn't it? using sex as a metaphor about prayer is brilliant. i have sometimes wondered what god wants us to learn about him through human sexuality. prayer is most definitely one of the spiritual acts that has come to mind when I think about it.

    ok, i blogged about the prayer thing. you can add me to your blog roll. i have a link up for my readers, all 5 of them, so they find you easily and the synchroblog list. thanks for helping to organinize. it's the most writing i've done in a month.

    (btw, was soooooooooooo great to hang out with you the other night. talk to ya soon.......)
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  33. great writing, erin. insightful. it resonates with me. prayer and intimacy and relationship, it's all intertwined, isn't it? using sex as a metaphor about prayer is brilliant. i have sometimes wondered what god wants us to learn about him through human sexuality. prayer is most definitely one of the spiritual acts that has come to mind when I think about it.

    ok, i blogged about the prayer thing. you can add me to your blog roll. i have a link up for my readers, all 5 of them, so they find you easily and the synchroblog list. thanks for helping to organinize. it's the most writing i've done in a month.

    (btw, was soooooooooooo great to hang out with you the other night. talk to ya soon.......)
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  34. well, i guess i just had to say that twice. :-)
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  35. Hi Erin-I had read your entry earlier in the day and was thinking about it and wondering if I try and hide my ugly parts from God. I think I might to some degree. I may try to impress Him, so He'll want me, which is so not Him. Like Adam and Eve with their fig leaves, I too, feel shame at my inabilities or imperfections before God, subconsciously believing that He will certainly "choose" someone who is more capable than me. I guess I really don't know Him like I should, but desire to open up to His acceptance of me. Erin, you really layed it open on this post, and I, for one, am looking at my relationship with the Lord much more closely and ready to hear His response to me on this. I know it will be filled with His grace. Thank you.
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  36. great post... I immediately as brother maynard thought of that great 77's tune...

    Pray Naked...

    this is a great post - the intimacy factor, the exposing of our real selves - being fully present to self & God... the issues of being known and the issue of one-ness.

    a great way to conceive of prayer.
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  37. Pam - Your comments sure swanson
    leave a lasting impact. :)

    Thanks for your kind words, this was a tough post. I guess we have to give credit to a God who created sex, and I think He meant it as more than just a good time.

    How about that on a bathroom stall..."For a GOOD time call: God"

    I'm glad you decided to write about it and I added you to the list.
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  38. Patti - Thanks so much for sharing. We are naturally inclined to hide our ugly from God because we so often put human characteristics on Him, and people will often shy away from ugly, so we expect that from God. Bless you in your search for acceptance from God. I know if you seek, you will find.
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  39. Doug - Thanks for commenting. I'm so glad it is speaking to so many people. Like it or not, He's there all the time. Sometimes we wish He wasn't, but in truth there's no avoiding Him.
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  40. Thanks for writing this, Erin. I, too, can get uncomfortable in God's presence and want to curl up into a ball to try to hide. But He's gentle and kind and doesn't force me to do anything. I love Him for that, and then I begin to come out of hiding.
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  41. Hi Erin! I can't rememer if I commented here earlier or not...oh wait, I didn't...I linked to you.

    My post is finally up, it's called "How to Not Pray"

    I can't wait to get home later and read through all of these. Thanks for initiating this. I get so much rich, powerful, inspriation from you and your commenters!!!!
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  42. another wonderfully transparent post. it feels good to be willing to be 'naked and unashamed', doesn't it? after doing it for a while now, i can't imagine to going back to living any other way.

    this post reminded me of a mental picture i got once during exceptionally rapturous prayer of receiving a spongebath from god...
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  43. Mary - Thanks for commenting. It's hard sometimes to feel that safety. I can only pray that we all grow in it as time goes by.
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  44. Wow. I'm speechless. What a raw, umm naked, post. Thank you for this.
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  45. Ok, my post is finally up ... Here's the link:

    http://cynthiaclack.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/spirit-led-prayer/
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  46. Shoot, I don't think that worked. Here ... I will link the post to my name here in this comment.
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  47. Barbara - I got your link up. I can't even say what I've gleaned from all this, it's too big for me.
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  48. Jon - It's hard to be willing to be vulnerable to God, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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  49. John - Thanks. I'm just really relieved everyone has saved the lewd comments. Or at least haven't posted them here.
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  50. Cynthia - I got your link. I'm headed over there now.
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  51. Wow, Erin ... I have finally had the quiet moment to really sit and read your post.

    "If we don't pray when we don't want God to see us, we do two things: a) we perpetuate a sense of shame before God that began in the garden, and b) perpetuate a disbelief in God's unconditional love."

    This is SPOT ON! When I finally learned that I can commune with God all the time ... that He is waiting for me with open arms to be with Him ... there were no more barriers. That is when I began to pray without ceasing.

    In the moment of making parenting mistakes ..."Oh shit, did you see that God? I really messed up. What do I need to do now?"

    While walking and seeing the most incredible sunset ... "God, how did you come up with all those colors? That is the most beautiful composition. You are amazing!"

    It is so simple and natural ... but it took knowing that He loves me before I could get there.

    OH ... and regarding that knowing me in real life comment on my blog ... I am thinking about running away, do you want me to come your way?
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  52. Cynthia - I totally agree with you. Often I'm like "Oh God (praying, not cussing) I really screwed up....or I'm really hurt...or whatever. But You made me and you know what goes on inside me, so help me figure this out".

    Oh, and you're thinking about running away? Well you can come here, but I'd rather go somewhere warm because our summer here has been lame.
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  53. Wow, Erin, this was a great, great post.

    It made me think - I feel more comfortable being exposed before God than I do being exposed before another human. And I was thinking at the start that that isn't a great thing. But it is. It's the absolute bestest thing. Because the second follows from the first.

    Enjoying going back into the bowels of your blog :)
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  54. Glad you liked it, Sue. It was one of my bolder posts...but also one of my favorites.
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  55. I absolutely loved this blog... I was looking on the internet about intimacy with God/sex and your blog popped up.. I feel crazy sometimes that I long for His presence like a woman would long for sex with a man, but it makes sense. And I love how you said that God is genderless.. although undoubtedly refers to himself as male, but when put in perspective..we are all made in His image male and female. And we are His bride. The spiritual bride to our God.
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  56. Even though this was about 4 1/2 years ago, I'm glad you found it encouraging. Thanks for visiting!
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