You feel like everything you say and do is wrong?
I just let down a friend - I double booked an evening without realizing it. I hate it when people do that to me and so I do it very rarely. I try to be thorough about checking my calendar before I commit to something.
But in this case something slipped through the cracks and I had to cancel one engagement.
My apologies seem empty to this person and I don't know how to communicate more effectively that it was just a mistake and not a personal slight. I understand how it feels, and I always try not to take it personally when it happens to me, but I always do. It's just human nature, I guess. I feel bad and I will probably wallow all day in the hurt I have caused this person.
On another note I have been commenting less lately because it seems I am quite adept at saying the wrong thing. In one case I made a mistake and owned up to it. In other cases I made comments that other readers misunderstood. Nothing I said in clarification seemed to make any difference. For being a writer I sure have trouble communicating my intent sometimes. I know that limiting my commenting is insecure and immature. But some days maybe it's better to keep my mouth shut.
When you double book a day by mistake, how do you decide which commitment to keep? Is it based on which commitment you had first, based on who will be most hurt if you cancel, or based on which thing you would rather do? I try to weigh all of these things, but sometimes it comes out wrong no matter what.
Did you ever have a day where you can't communicate what you really want to say? Do you ever feel like you shouldn't comment on other blogs because everything you say seems wrong?
Sigh.
I miss your comments. I do the same thing so, I feel like I have nothing as brilliant to say as the person who commented before me, so why bother looking like a fool? So your not the only insecure immature one :)
ReplyDeleteAs for the double booking - that is a tough one. My first thought is to go with what you planned first. That seems fair. But it really depends on the circumstances, like is it a party or a one on one thing? If one thing has more meaning, I'd do that.
argh, the limitations of the written word and the internet!
ReplyDeleteyes, i have been misunderstood lots of times. don't despair! it comes with the territory of expressing yourself, whether written or verbal. i once made what i thought was a funny joke on a discussion forum and next thing i knew i was defending my character. another time i wrote something on my blog that someone twisted and (anonymously) took great issue with me. that was a tough one. then there are the times when i misunderstand someone's writing and i react and i write and then THEY have to straighten me out on what they really met and how i did not get it...yeah, sigh...
so that's the wonderful life of writing and communication. we will get misunderstood at times. and that's how it is.
Barbara - Thanks for the sympathy about commenting. And I agree with you on the double booking. It's sometimes hard to know which way to go.
ReplyDeletePam - Thanks for making me feel better!