5 Posts

In closing for 2006, I want to list here my 5 favorite posts and then the 5 most popular based primarily on comments and then on number of hits.

It's interesting how the posts I think are the most profound and amazing usually aren't the most popular. I think this is due to the fact that when we think we are being smart, we usually aren't; it's when we are just being ourselves that people really respond.

My 5 Favorites:

• Leaving - 3-31-2006 I'm a leaver, guilty as charged.
  
• The Next Step 7-20-2006 So now that I'm a leaver, what do I do next?
  
• Been Thinking more about Questions - 8-14-2006 Is it ever OK to say "I don't know?"
  
• The Merging Church - 10-24-2006 Is it emerging from something or merging into something?
  
• Unchurch 12-15-2006 The beginnings concepts of what the future of church in my life might look like.
  

The 5 you liked best:

• So Here I Am 2-24-2006 The diagnosis that rocked my world. Not the most interesting post, but where I felt the most love with all your comments.
• Comment Shy 7-27-2006 I had never had this much discussion before. Maybe we aren't as shy as we think.
  
• Worship 9-12-2006 In response to a post by Cindy Bryan.
• Winter's Moody Blues 12-8-2006 Suddenly I didn't feel so alone, knowing so many of you struggle with this too.
• I'm It - 5 Things - 12-20-2006 This was a lot of fun. I'm not usually into meme's, but I really enjoyed it that so many people I know participated in this. It was a blast to learn a little more about you guys. However, I still don't get why everyone was so surprised I was a cheerleader ;-)

So, Happy New Year!

I look forward to getting to know you all better in the coming months. Thanks for being my friends.

Happy New Year!

I know for some of my readers, this post will find you already in 2007, but for me it's still more than 10 hours away.

I have had a nice week, and although I have missed my blogfriends, I have spent some nice time doing things other than being glued to the computer (which is my favorite pastime). I still technically have one more day to my week off, but I couldn't stay away from the blog any longer.

Facts about my week off:

• On Wednesday my husband badly sprained his ankle. He also had quite a cold this week, so that did slow things down a bit around here. Unfortunately, due to my husbands cold and injury we haven't got cracking my my new blog yet. It will come, it will come. I'm just being impatient.
• I am reading "A Hertics Guide to Eternity" by Spencer Burke. Almost done, it has to go back to the library on Tuesday - there's a hold on it - so I better get on with it.
• On Thursday, I had lunch with Pam and Donna at McMenamins on the Columbia (and they treated me for my birthday!). Situated right on the river, this would be a great place to go back to when the weather is nice and we can sit outside.
• Friday afternoon my husband and my kids had a "party" for me, complete with cake, balloons and cards. My boys did the dishes and picked up the house for me. Yay!
• Friday night I went out with my husband, we ate at Typhoon! and saw "A Night at the Museum". Ben Stiller plays Larry Daley, who takes a job as the night watchman at the Museum of Natural History. Little does he know, the museum holds a very interesting secret. I would unreservedly recommend this movie, even (especially) for kids, although the very youngest set (under 5) might find parts of it to be a little scary (think Jumanji). It was funny, educational, entertaining and appropriate for the entire family. I was impressed.
• Saturday night I went out with 4 of my closest girlfriends. They treated me to dinner at Oba! in Northwest Portland.
• Tonight, as tradition holds, my parents will come over to ring in the New Year with us. We will have Chineese food and probably watch a movie with them and the kids.

All in all it's been a great, fun, relaxing week.

I wish you all the very best in the New Year. Thank you for helping me grow, challenging me, and making me feel safe. Here's to many more blog posts, many new friends, and maybe meeting a few of 2006's new friends for the first time.

*** And a side note for anyone who might not know. President Bush has asked federal agencies, including the USPS , to be closed on Tuesday in honor of former President Ford. So that means the post office and regular mail delivery will be unavailable not only today (Sunday) and tomorrow (federal holiday of New Years Day) but Tuesday as well. FYI.

Another Year Older...

... but not necessarily wiser. ;-)

Happy Birthday to Me!

Blog Break

The week between Christmas and New Year's is usually (deliberately) one of rest for me. This year is no different. It's a ritual I started about 6 years ago, and I look forward to it every year.

I will spend this week catching up on reading, hanging with friends, watching movies, celebrating my birthday, and not doing a whole heckuvalot else. Well, the dishes and laundry can't be avoided, but not much beyond that. We will eat fast food and sandwiches abnd leftovers from Christmas, to minimize my cooking. We will not restrict the TV or video games or the kids having their friends over. We won't insist on room-cleaning. It's the week of celebration, fun, relaxation and (reasonable) freedom from responsibility.

This is my version of Shabbat, my time to rest and reflect. Hubby always has this week off, so we try to spend time together as a family; this also makes it easier for me to take a break.

So don't be alarmed if you don't see me too much this week.

Anyhow, you shouldn't be here, either, you should be spending time with family, celebrating, or doing whatever YOU enjoy...but definitely not hanging out on my blog.

The Aftermath and My Grandmom

It's OVER. The mess is incalculable, but so is the joy. On Saturday I passed out homemade cookies to many of our neighbors. We hosted Christmas eve for 15 of my family, and I managed not to experience one moment of stress because of it. We spent countless hours in the company of family and friends, ate a ton of great food. My boys got what they wanted and loved and appreciated every bit of it all. They passed out hugs in enormous supply, they were thankful and made their momma proud. Never a moment of "Is this ALL there is?" or "I want what HE got!"

We found out our young nephew got engaged on Christmas Eve, we got to meet his fiance yesterday. My mom's parents, who are both in failing health, were able to come to Christmas, probably for the last time. It was bittersweet. The circle of life.

All in all we had an amazing Christmas. Which, of course makes it ever so much harder to really remember the reason and purpose of it all.

But yesterday, I had a quiet moment with my Grandmother. She has been in and out of the hospital in recent weeks, and my mom and my aunt have been splitting caring for her 4 days at a time. It's an amazing venture by these daughters, who are expressing their appreciation for all their parents have done for them by caring for them in sleepless nights, pill counting, giving showers, cooking, cleaning and shopping...

So I hugged my Grandmom and told her that I loved her and I was glad she could come to Christmas, and she began to cry. She hadn't been feeling well all day and thought that she had been complaining too much.

She says "I'm so sorry to be such a bother and ruin everyone's Christmas".

I said "Grandmom, this is what Christmas is all about: loving on the people you care about. That's all that matters."

She nodded her head and cried a bit more.

She is a special Grandma, I am her first grandchild and we have always had a bond. It's hard to see her this way, hard to accept that it's just nature taking it's course. Hard to accept that soon she will be moved away from the home that she has lived in all her adult life, the home her husband built with his own hands; moved into a strange place with strangers, but at least my Grandparents will still be together. For now.

Moved from the home where she raised her children, where we had countless family gatherings over the decades: Christmases and New Years parties, Mother's Day bar-b-q's , birthday parties....the home where I lived as an infant with my mother for 18 months while my father had a short-term job far away. The home where I lived with my parents and my baby sister for 9 months while my parents shopped for a house in the area.

Over the decades, my Grandparents and my mother and aunt had many adventures in their 1954 Airstream travel trailer. They drove the Alaska highway before it was paved. They saw the Redwoods, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone. The same travel trailer where I slept in the upper luggage storage compartment as a little girl. The same trailer that still parked in their shop in the back of the house.

My Grandma taught Sunday School to 4 year olds in a little Lutheran church for 40 years. My Grandmother is an artiste, she was always making or creating something crafty. My Grandmother and her sister are 16 years apart, so my Grandmother helped raise her younger sister, because their parents were aging by then. My Grandmother also lost a number of pregnancies, at least 3, I think, and was always amazed that she was able to have two lovely daughters.

My Grandma has a legacy of making these Advent Calendars out of felt. She hand makes all the ornaments, too. My parents and many of my family members have one now. This is ours. --->

My Grandma collects things: lots of things. She has a collection for every month of the year: January is Snowmen, February is Cupids. Shamrocks, Easter bunnies, Flowers Baskets. Brides and Grooms, Uncle Sams, umm I don't remember August or September, maybe it'll come to me, Ghosts, Turkey's, Santas. These collections consist of hundreds of items each, set out all throughout her house each month. She hasn't been well enough to do it the last couple of years, but growing up, my friends would always want to see my Grandma's collections.

On Christmas eve, my mom said "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more this Christmas, I'm sorry I didn't buy more gifts for everyone or contribute more to the food or preparations." She's been living on and off at my Grandparents house for several weeks. Caring for ailing adults is a taxing, double-time job.

I said "Mom, your children are all grownups, we aren't going to be disappointed 5 year-olds because Mom didn't meet our usual Christmas expectations. What you're doing caring for your parents instead of preparing for Christmas; that is the greatest gift to us, it's the gift of a good example, it's the gift of family."

My Grandmother has a journal for every year at least as far back as the year I was born. Not too long ago, she asked me what I would want from their house full of treasures collected over the decades of marriage and children and grandchildren.

I told her I want her journals. All of them. I want to write her biography. She is amazing and deserves to be remembered.

That is what Christmas was about for me this year.

It's a Twisted Christmas

So my husband and I are up late watching VH1Classic. I'll withhold comment for your consideration, but please give this video just a moment of your Christmas attention.

Merry Christmas!

I have thought about trying to post something profound for Christmas this year, instead I decided to make the rounds and wish everyone a personal Merry Christmas on their blogs. I hope I didn't miss anyone, if you didn't get a Christmas greeting from me in your comments, please know it's not intentional! Call me on it!

This year has been especially meaningful for me - all the people I have met in the blog world have greatly enriched my journey - from a disillusioned ex-churchgoer to an excited, impassioned lover and seeker of the unchurched! It so fun and amazing to meet like minds, especially when you feel like you're the only one who thinks a certain way.

Thanks to you all for enduring my ranting, my bitterness, my sometimes PG-13 posts and language, my strange taste in music. Thanks to you all for encouraging me and preventing me from giving up altogether on this thing called Christianity.

If you're familiar with the song "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses, this will make sense to you. If not, look it up. For the original lyrics, go here.

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, Blogger
Encounters, most interesting.
Can't believe the people I've met
And there are many more I'll bet

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I really need to catch my breath,
Christmas coming soon this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, went back to church,
Once or twice to aid in my search,
Couldn't agree where it would be,
I tried but I didn't learn much.

Hanging out in summertime,
Out to the beach with the kids, sublime
Swimming, driving me crazy,
Sunburns and sandy feet.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Sunday's the night, but I've set my mind
To focus mostly on being kind.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
To you and all those you hold dear.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
To you and all those you hold dear.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
To you and all those you hold dear.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
To you and all those you hold dear.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
A few gifts left yet to wrap
Oh no! I forgot the lights
Preparing to host 20 people
Can't wait to get into bed tonight.

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to face my fate
12 dozen cookies and a mop
So tomorrow I can shop.

All my new friends have provided me
With insight, laughter, all for free
I'm so glad I have this blog
To you all I lift a glass of eggnog!

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
To you and all those you hold dear!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

To you and all those you hold dear!

Sigh

The Dilemma:

Really wanting to sit and eat brownies today.

VS.

Knowing my body will have a sh*t-fit if I do.

Another Slam Dunk ...

... by Agents of Future.

My friend Pam sent me the link to this song today.

"Carry Us Over"

Jesus turn this wine back into water
So it can quench our poor and thirsty souls
The desert is dry as hell and getting hotter
The truth is only your love makes us whole

So carry us over the finish line
we can see the end but our feet are so tired
It's obvious we're useless on our own

So carry us over the finish line
we can see the end but our feet are so tired
Don't know how to be sober

Jesus carry us over

We wanna go home........

I'm It - 5 Things

My friend Grace tagged me today: 5 things most people don't know about me.




1) I was a varsity cheerleader in high school. G-E-N-E-R-A-L-S!








2) I've been in 19 states, but only two foreign countries. Guess which two?







3) I still really dig a clear, booming, deep bass stereo. Goosebumps. Does this thing go to 11?

4) I'm a lefty. I'm one of those eccentric, artsy, and supremely intelligent rarities.












5) My hair is pink. As in Manic Panic Fuschia Shock pink.









Gary, Donna, Susan, Dan , and Traillady - If you haven't done this yet, you're IT!

Blogger is NOT Beta

Today Blogger announced they are dropping "beta" from the new version of Blogger.

"I am overjoyed to announce that today we have o’ficially graduated the new version of Blogger from “in beta” to “.”

So many people I know are still having problems lately, but I have noticed two improvements:

1) My own blog no longer requires me to enter the word verification

2) It seems the last day or two that I no longer have to enter the word verification two or three times when commenting on other people's blogs - it seems that once is working now.

How is the no-longer-beta Blogger working for you all? Any continuing complaints?

White, Young, Suburban, Rich and Oblivious

I came across this at DJ Chuang.

"Only 8% of internet users keep a blog — but an additional 39% read them. Not surprisingly, a survey by the Pew Internet & American Life Project also finds that the most distinguishing characteristic of bloggers is their youth. More than half (54%) of bloggers are under the age of 30. Like the internet population in general, however, bloggers are evenly divided between men and women, and more than half live in the suburbs. Another third live in urban areas and a scant 13% live in rural regions. Most bloggers (65%) do not consider their blog a form of journalism and 52% of bloggers say they blog mostly for themselves, not for an audience. "

He includes a chart, which basically says that the majority of bloggers are:

White (60%)
Young (54% ages 18-29, 30% ages 30-49)
Suburban (51%)
and Rich (which is a conclusion I'm drawing based on the 79% of bloggers who use broadband, which we all know is more expensive by quite a ways than dial-up.)

Interestingly, men and women are fairly evenly split, which I didn't expect.

Based on those stats, I'm a very typical blogger.

White: Guilty
Young: Guilty
Suburban: Guilty
Rich: (based on the broadband assumption) Guilty.

So....

I just finished reading Shane Claiborne's "The Irresistible Revolution". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, if not only to stretch your thinking. However it's easily a "make you feel horribly guilty" book, too. Guilt is not in his tone, not for one moment; but the conviction still stands that while I am such a completely average person in America, I'm incredibly rich, healthy, and privileged according to most of the population of the world. Shane talks about how if you have two coats, you have excess and someone else has none. How if we have more than we need of anything we are robbing from those who don't have enough. His philosophy is extreme, but I think it's important for most of us average Americans to realize how fortunate we really are.

This, of course, is especially poignant during the Christmas season, when we are hustling and bustling and not really thinking about the people around us. We are shopping and spending and maybe making a mindless donation to some charity. These things aren't inherently wrong, but the more I think about my white middle-class suburban lifestyle, the more it pains me that I complain about being able to *only* spend X amount of dollars this Christmas.

I feel some thoughts forming between these two examples (the blogging stats and Shane's book), but I'm not quite sure where they are going.

I do know that I am thinking real hard these days, and some of what I am learning about myself I don't really like all that much. I know I'm not called to a community like the Simple Way, but I do also know that I am not called to be an oblivious white middle-class suburbanite forever.

I know don't want to remain a statistic on a chart. I will always be white, maybe always middle-class or suburban, but hopefully I won't allow myself, or God won't allow me, to always be oblivious.

Wait.

Dan Howedel wrote this today:

"Sadly though, I have this tendency to sometimes take on other people's pain. Especially unstated pain. You know, when you can see in someone's face that they're really sad or hurting. It hurts. And I often either want to try to "fix" things, or I begin to "own" their grief... and neither one of these things are healthy, right, or worthwhile. Instead, I will try to keep their pictures in my mind and pray over them as I flip the pages. Being sure to also keep the image of hope that is what this season is all about.


Advent is waiting.
Wait. Weight. Slate.
Straight. Bait. Hate.
Validate. Skate. State.
Rate. Irate. Infiltrate.
Defibrilate. Insinerate. Escalate.
Debate. Plate. Date.
Mate.
Never late.
Wait.

Wait.

Wait."

Back on

So our power went out around 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I called PGE, they said they had no estimate.

Our 10 year old son had already gone for a sleepover at friends house, so hubby and I took our 7 year old son to Red Robin for dinner.

After dinner there still was no estimate on power restoration, which generally is a bad sign if after 2 hours they have no timeline, so we were going to go to the mall and wander around for awhile ... then it occurred to me that we could go to a movie.

So our son got an unexpected treat when we went to see The Santa Clause III: The Escape Clause.

In the following paragraphs, you will learn why I'm not a book or film reviewer. I suck at it. But here goes anyhow. Spoilers ahead, but honestly with these Santa Clause films, does it really matter?

This definitely was the worst of the 3 films. I remember that I rather enjoyed the first one, where Tim Allen as Scott Calvin accidentally kills Santa Claus. Scott puts on Santa's coat, not knowing that there is a Santa Clause that requires that in the event of Santa's death, whoever dons his coat first will become the next Santa. This first film centers around the transformation of Scott Calvin into Santa Claus.

The second film was about Santa, a.k.a. Scott Calvin, being lonely and then meeting a woman who would eventually become Mrs. Claus.

This third film (spoilers here) involves Mr. and Mrs. Claus expecting a baby. Mrs. Claus is missing her family, whom she doesn't get to see often because they can't keep a secret, and the most important thing about being Santa is the S.O.S. (Secret of Santa). Scott manages to figure out a way to bring her folks to visit while making them think they are in [cough] Canada, eh?

Meanwhile, Jack Frost (Martin Short) is feeling jealous of "The Red Man" and all his holiday splendor, so he schemes to de-suit Santa. He finds out about "The Escape Clause", where if Santa holds a special snow globe and says "I wish I had never become Santa Claus", everything will go back to the way it was before Scott Calvin became Santa, giving Jack Frost a crack at it.

Jack Frost manages to get Santa to invoke The Escape Clause and Jack becomes Santa. Jack turns the North Pole into a theme park and wreaks havoc on the entire system. However, his success is only temporary. Meanwhile, Scott Calvin is working to return to the North Pole to reclaim the suit from Jack. In the end, Scott a.k.a. Santa wins, Jack Frost is thawed into a kind and gentle guy, a baby is born (hm) , and all is well in the world of Christmas.

Um. Hopefully this is the last in the series. I guess it was a pretty good way to spend a couple hours when our power was out, extenuating circumstances and all that. But please don't voluntarily choose to pay $23 to see it like we did.

Anyhow, when the movie was over I called PGE and the recording said most power in our area had been restored, but that some customers were still out. So I called my neighbor across the street (who incidentally had never lost her power) and got a visual verification that our lights were on, so we returned home, never the worse for having our power out for 5 hours. We were very lucky, considering the freezing temps here in the Rose City lately.

I'll try to catch up on comments later today.

Power's Out

The power has failed in our neighborhood, no ETA on restoration. So I don't know when I'll be posting again, but more importantly I know there have been several new comments that I have not responded to. It's really difficult to blog from my Treo (which I'm doing now) so I won't be responding till I have access to a computer again. I just didn't want anyone to think I was ignoring them. Thanks, Lily

Planning a Move

It's looking like a change that I have been planning for months is going to take place soon. It's taken longer than I expected to get around to this, but we have finally registered my name as a domain and will be spending the week after Christmas building my new site and setting it up on the servers. Hopefully it will all come off without too many problems.

It will be located at myname.com, but I don't have a name for the site yet. I have a couple ideas that I'm considering, and I will be asking your thoughts on the new name a little later on. Sometime (hopefully shortly) after the first of the year, I will be moving my blogging life to the new site. At this point the plan is to discontinue blogging here, but leave DF up on Blogger as an archive. The new site probably won't seem that different as a whole, but I don't plan to import the existing DF posts into it. Of course I will let you guys know where to find the new site when it's up and hope to find you there.

This is a result of both a change over the last few months in the direction I feel I am going spiritually, and a choice to "come out" so to speak; meaning I am feeling safe enough these days to begin writing under my own name. I have begun to dislike the feeling of something less-than-honest when I interact with people under a pseudonym - not that it's dishonest in and of itself, but I am feeling dishonest about it - meaning I feel the signal of a change in me about that. I also want to establish my name in order to become more valid and authentic as both an author and as a person.

I'm not suggesting that my new blog will be that much different than DF, I am not saying I have some new and great revelation or mission to share. I think more than anything I am wanting to signify the shedding of my bitterness and the new mounting forgiveness and compassion in me towards those who have hurt me and the church as a whole. Not that I'm perfect and not that I won't have my angry moments, but they are becoming fewer and in some ways I think the tone I have established on much of this blog has been one of hostility and I am wanting to evolve out of that. I think it's more psychological than anything for me, I started this blog as a place to vent my anger and frustration about my experiences in the church, and that's not where I am anymore.

So anyhow...I guess this post is just a heads-up on.

Unchurch

This is a difficult post to write because it really exposes my heart in a number of ways. Be gentle with me. This is long but I hope you will wade through it and give me some feedback.

Recently, Gary Means and I have been discussing some sort of idea we share.

It all started with his post "An Amateur Heretic", where he said,

"Perhaps it's time for me to resurrect my dream of creating an environment for dialogue about matters of faith, with the intent of pointing to hope in Christ, but without the heavy-handed evangelistic agenda. I just want to develop a community or a circle of relationships where people can explore Christian spirituality without fear or guilt, and where they feel loved and accepted precisely as they are, not as potential Christians."

and this post, where he asks,

"Is it possible for an Evangelical to work to create an environment where people are loved as they are, even if they are unlovely?" At the heart of the question was the Evangelical propensity to view all nonbelievers as potential Christians."

I encourage you to read those two posts if you want to know more about the context of THIS post.

For about a year a vision (I do hesitate to use the word "vision" because it has been so abused in my church experience, but for lack of a better word, I'm going to stick to it.) has been forming in the back of my mind that is along the lines of the two previous quotes. I think most importantly, I am realizing now that if another person sees there being a need for this type of thing, it's confirmation to me that there really IS a need. As Gary and I have not dialogued about it at length, I am not asserting that our approaches to this are identical; however there are similarities to what we each are thinking.

Here are some of my thoughts on what I call "unchurch":

There are obviously countless people like me who have distanced themselves from the church but not from Christ 9if you believe such a thing is possible) . Where are they? Are they all having church in a virtual world like I am? Are they out in the workplace or campus or neighborhood being Jesus to people? Where ARE they?

There is a great deal of research about the fact that people are leaving and why, but I have not heard a lot about where they are going when they leave.

The other thought I have is: what about people who are curious about Christ but would never darken the doors of a church because their interactions with Christians have been so negative - maybe encounters with marketing and manipulation and and coercion into "getting saved" or who have experienced intolerance either of themselves or people they care about?

So I want to qualify my thoughts here with a couple of things:

One: As I have finally been able to admit before, "church" isn't all bad. I have grown into the realization that Jesus comes to us however we need to meet Him. For many people the vital spiritual reality is still found in "church". Just because I didn't find Him there - well I did, but I guess things change - doesn't mean it's not a valid, not only valid, but amazing and awesome, expression of faith.

Something I have always believed when shopping for a product on Amazon, where people's opinions about a product are available: the bad stuff gets the most noise. You can always know that if a product sucks, you will hear about it on Amazon, like this product. But for every one negative opinion, there might be thousands of people who are perfectly happy with the product and just have never bothered to post a positive comment. But you can bet that if people have had a bad experience, they will rant about it loud and clear.

So with that, have learned that the people who have been hurt the worst by the church have the loudest voices. The people for whom church is a great, spiritually uplifting place usually don't shout about it. If that makes any sense. So it's easy to say church is all bad, just look at all the people who are miserable because of the church, look at all the problems it has, look at all the judgmentalism, etc...but in truth that is still only a small percentage of people.

And of course, our experiences shape our opinions, so if we have a bad experience with something, we will want to throw it out entirely. If a restaurant gives us food poisoning, we are likely to avoid that restaurant for a very long time, but that doesn't mean we will avoid all restaurants. Maybe we will avoid all restaurants for awhile, but sooner or later we will get over our aversion and we will eat out again.

I guess these last couple of months I'm getting over my aversion.

Two: I am coming to realize that God is still leading me into a body of some kind. I will never be one to say that if you leave church forever you can't be a "real" Christian. But I am coming to believe that those who leave the church "proper" will often be called into the body again (including me). I know this is a fearsome idea for some people, and I fully respect that. I'm not saying to worry about it. Stay out as long as you like, as long as you listen to Jesus.

And I don't want to ever invalidate the faith expression of anyone who follows Christ, as my friend Cindy has been talking about recently in discussing Scot McKnight's post "An Emerging Character: Inclusion Reaction".

One thing I learned after hearing Christine Wicker and Helen Mildenhall (who blogs at Conversation at the Edge among other places) speak at the RevCon is that some people who leave the church ARE leaving Christianity, too.

Helen is a former Christian, who says,

"These days I think I could convince people I’m an atheist. Yet I still want to live according to what I saw in Jesus’ life. I still remember what the Bible says and feel called to "respond Biblically" when I face challenging situations. Sometimes I wonder whether my strange, un-Christian practice of deliberately not cultivating a personal relationship with God hasn’t actually given him more freedom to work through me, not less."

Christine has written several books which explore a wide variety of belief systems and

"challenge to the traditional Christian insistence that God could only come to humans through a conversion experience with Jesus."

I have great respect for these women, I learned a great deal from them and I don't question their individual approaches to faith (or lack thereof) ... but I wonder if there have to be SOME church-leavers who are borderline "faith leavers" because they are unable to envision a Christian faith that is "safe" for them, but who WANT to resolve their spirituality in a relationship with Christ. What if there was a place for almost-atheist, or almost-Christian or wounded-Christian people to investigate their faith without pressure, without having rules and tenets and morals inflicted on them....

I know this might sound like UU, that's not where I'm going. I'm not at a place where I can envision living without Jesus, and I don't believe one can ultimately have a fruitful spiritual life without Him, (but I could be wrong.) Where I'm at with this, it's still all about Jesus, but respectful of where Jesus is meeting each person and recognizing that He does not deal with each of us in the same way. Likewise, I am willing to admit that all roads *could* lead to Jesus if one truly follows one's spirit. In other words, as Sunil Sardar says "I celebrate whenever a person converts to Buddhism, because it is closer to Jesus than Hinduism. And even Buddha points to Jesus". But Jesus still is the only way.

I know I'm not being very clear with my thoughts, they aren't all clear to me either. I'm just asking questions about whether or not it's possible to have such a "safe" place, for ex-christians, almost-christians, and mildly-curious-christians to meet and be mutually supportive of each other without judgement.

But is it truly possible to even have such a thing, a thing like Gary articulated in the quote at the beginning of this post? Is it possible to have a safe place where Jesus is still the ultimate goal? Or is it possible to have a place where people can explore Christianity without having conversion as an ulterior motive? Can I be true to Christ without trying to convert people?

I guess what I'm looking for here is the difference between a lifestyle of love and deliberate evangelism. Is there a middle ground? Is it possible for me as a Christian to truly unconditionally love (not just "tolerate") people without seeking to lead them to Jesus, and am I still a Christian if so?

I asked Gary how he would respond to someone who someone who says that if we aren't ultimately trying to evangelize or convert people then we are missing the point of God entirely.

Gary says:

"I can't find a single scripture where Christ tried to convert anyone to become a Christian. Not once did He have someone pray a sinner's prayer, or present them with the four spiritual laws, or ask them where they would go if they died that night.

On the other hand, He was extremely radical about His relationships and His actions. Today, the only way He could be as scandalous would be if He ate meals with African-American, HIV-positive gay prostitutes."

So these are some disjointed beginnings to something that has been trying to surface for awhile. i don't have any clues other than this nagging that won't go away and now confirmation from another person that such a concept doesn't make me entirely crazy.

Is it possible? I don't know? Will people want to come? I don't know. Where to begin? I don't know.

How will I know when I know? I don't know.

Laugh of the Day

HT Edge of Faith

Lily A-Z

My friend Barbara posted this today, and I'm going to follow suit.

A - Available/Single? Nope. Married 15 years.
B - Best Friend? Hm. Corny answer - Jesus. True answer - Debbie
C - Cake or Pie? Sigh. Neither anymore. I'm diabetic.
D - Drink Of Choice? Diet Coke (I know, I know...)
E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? Computer!
F - Favorite Color? Black
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Neither, dang it.
H - Hometown? Portland, OR
I - Indulgence? Anything Geeky
J - January Or February? July
K - Kids & Their Names? 10 and 7, both boys, both E Names
L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Sunlight
M - Marriage date? November 1991
N - Number Of Siblings? 3, all younger
O - Oranges Or Apples? Apples
P - Phobias/Fears? Being insignificant
Q - Favorite Quote? Today it's:

"The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

R - Reason to Smile? Jesus
S - Season? Summer
T - Tag 3 or 4 people? Nah, I don't like tag
U - Unknown Fact About Me - I'm weird. Wait, everyone knows that.
V - Vegetable you don’t like? Cabbage
W - Worst Habit? Being addicted to blogging
X - X-rays You’ve Had? Ankle, ribs, shoulder, hand, head
Y - Your Favorite Food? Chocolate
Z - Zodiac Sign? Capricious, er, I mean Capricorn.

Links and Posts

Conversation at the Edge - Atheists for Jesus - Helen Mildenhal

Theological Musings - On Order, Leadership and Prophecy - Steve Sensenig

Tall Skinny Kiwi - Missing the Christmas Tree Farm - Andrew Jones (Incidentally the place he mentions is where we have gone for our tree in years past. Cool place! If you're in the Portland/Vancouver area, check it out.)

Purgatorio - You Supply the Caption # 66 - Marc Heinrich

Emerging Grace - Discussion: Slain in the Spirit - Grace

Blessed are the Poor in Spirit - An Amateur Heretic - Gary Means

Mary, Did You Know?

Last night was my 7 year old son's Christmas program. Yes, he goes to a Christian school so they actually have a CHRISTMAS program, and not a "Winter" or "Holiday" program. We are blessed to have a great little Christian school not far from our house, and between my older and younger sons, we've had kids there for 7 years. We're not big into Christian education in and of itself, this is just a fantastic school with lots of love and grace and great people. But it only goes through first grade, and then we have to move on.

Anyhow, the kindergarten and first grade have their program together each year, so they get to do the same program twice.

They do this fantastic thing to the song "Mary, Did You Know", written by Mark Lowry. If you don't know what song I mean, I highly recommend looking it up. There are about 80 versions at iTunes.

The kids all wear dark colors. Then they completely darken the sanctuary and the kids put on white gloves. They turn on black lights, and the kids sign to the song. They don't SING, they SIGN. And it's breathtaking and amazing and a real tear-jerker. I know it's not an original idea, but it's beautiful.

All you see in the total darkness is these hands flowing with the music, telling a story, and it transmits something of the simplicity of Christ and how He's the light in the darkness. The children are not all in time with the music or doing the right signs at the right time, and it reminds how Jesus doesn't care if we are in time with everyone else, as long as we come as children to worship Him.

Anyhow...

Mary did you know that your baby boy would some day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy would give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when your kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

Oh Mary did you know---

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb---.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great--I--- AM---.

The REAL E/R

I spent the day in the E/R with my Dad today.

My 22 ... wait, let me think ... no, 24 year old brother who still lives at home, woke this morning to Dad bellowing in tremendous pain. I guess it was so bad that my brother (who is quite a levelheaded chap) was really scared and rushed dad the ER.

My Mom has been gone for 4 days, taking care of her Mom who has just had a bout with pneumonia or a bronchial infection of some kind, so Mom wasn't around to help my brother with Dad in the ER. So Mom called me - the big sister of the bunch. I headed to the hospital to, you know, sit, wait, provide moral support, keep track of what was going on. Etc. I was pretty shaken by the amount of pain Dad was in, too and could understand my brother's panic. But after evaluation and a CAT scan, they determined it was *just* kidney stones.

I don't say *just* kidney stones lightly, but

** Whew **

I mean not that that's a good thing, it's downright miserable. I can't even imagine, although they tell me it's worse than childbirth, so I definitely don't wish that on anyone, least of all my Dad.

But I'm so very, very thankful it wasn't something more serious.

Tasteless Holiday Joke

This is going around via e-mail. Probably PG-13.

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied...







"These are Carols."

Poll: S.A.D

In talking with you guys about SAD, I learned something I didn't know. It seems that living south of where I do doesn't seem to eliminate the instances of SAD. I somehow thought people in California or other southern states didn't suffer from it. So maybe it's not some fixed amount or quantity of light or some particulars of weather that causes it, but simply living in any area where the winter months differ from the summer months in temperature and light quality.

Since it seems so many people suffer from S.A.D ... I just wanted to ask some questions.

1) Do you consider yourself as having S.A.D?

If so ...

2) What month is your worst month?

3) What month were you born in? (This seems to have some relevance in the instance of SAD.)

4) Have you seen your Doctor about S.A.D.? Did he/she understand, support you and help you treat it?

4) How do you treat your S.A.D.? Does your treatment help?

5) Do you have to fight against *treating* your S.A.D. in unhealthy ways?

1) My worst month is January, with February a close second.

2) I was born in December.

3) I have seen my Doc, and his best answer for me was antidepressants 6 months of the year. That was/is not an option for me except as a last resort, personal reasons.

4) This is the first year I have worked to treat my SAD. I treat in a variety of ways - exercise, eating better, getting more sleep, trying to engage in fun, and I use a light box 5 days a week. Obviously this combination does not fully treat my depression, but it does seem to help. I did notice that my symptoms were lesser this November than in years past, but ask me again in February.

5) I tend to go for chocolate when I'm down, which is bad for me for obvious reasons. Sometimes I do tend to drink too much, although that has not been so much of a problem since my diagnosis of Type II. I just can't do that to my body - alcohol has a bad reaction with my medication and I know my liver is a key player in managing my sugar levels. Probably the worst place for me is sinking into a vague pseudo-reality where I sleep a lot and avoid facing reality, and although that is rare, a few years ago it was pretty bad.


Anyone else want to talk about it?

On a lighter note...

Check this out. It's in the Holiday spirit, Specialized style.

Winter's Moody Blues

Warning, this will be a long-ish post.

For the last two weeks, I have felt horrible.
Like hubby-better-guard-the-credit-cards-or-I-might-run-away-to-Cali horrible.
Yeah, I might. Seems downright enticing, some days.
I'm only half-kidding.

I am doing everything right (the light, the exercise, the eating right), and the Doc said it wouldn't be so bad this year. He was wrong. Bad as ever.

So lately I find myself fantasizing about spending 6 months a year in the southern hemisphere and forgo the autumn and winter completely. Anyone down under want to adopt me? Susan?

Yesterday, Gary Means posted about S.A.D. I had been hesitant to talk about it but after reading Gary's post, and knowing there are others out there who struggle like I do, I decided to write.

First, a refresher. I did post a about SAD here last year, too:

"When I was a kid I used to make fun of retired folks who would get in their motorhomes in October and migrate south for the winter. Now I easily imagine I will join their ranks someday, when the kids are grown and the husband is retired, the sooner the better.

"Without treatment, I am a soggy pile of mush, unable to find motivation for anything, unable to be happy about anything, I want to sleep 14 hours a day, I eat carbs and sugar like a pig (not that that's not a problem otherwise, but it is definitely worse in the winter) and the worst...I am constantly short tempered and angry with my kids, or ambivalent and uninvolved. I also get easily stressed and overwhelmed (to the point of dropping everything, falling on my knees and crying). I get forgetful, have trouble concentrating and remembering appointments and tasks.

"If you suspect you have SAD, or for more information, check out the links at the beginning of this post or Google it, then see your Doctor. Find out from a professional the treatment that's right for you. But don't be ashamed or afraid to admit it. It's not just "all in your head". I'll back you up."

Realizing that post was at the beginning of November last year, it seems that all my "doing everything right" has at least postponed the worst of the depression until like a month later in the year. Of course, the NEW factor this year is my Type II, which contributes to the depression in many ways, but I think also had had it's benefits, because it's only due to the Type II that I have gotten my shit together in the diet and exercise categories this year.

Here's something I said in the comments on Gary's post:

"And it's an evil, self perpetuating cycle because the worse I feel, the more chocolate I eat, which makes my Type II misbehave, which makes my feet hurt, which makes it hard to exercise, which makes my numbers go up more, which makes me more depressed which makes me eat more junk...blah, blah, blah. I try to subvert the cycle by recognizing it and just getting on the treadmill for 5 minutes when I feel like binging. Sometimes I do, sometimes not."

Yes, there is something in chocolate. We already know that. It's my safest drug of choice. Unfortunately, like any drug, chocolate is short-term, and leaves us with a greater downer in the end.

Some lesser known facts about Seasonal Affective Disorder:

SAD seems to be a mystery, a phantom to many people. But it is gaining notoriety. Is the case of SAD more common now than it was 50 years ago? Of course not, now we just have a name for it.

What causes it? In my research, I discovered some interesting information.

Let's think for a minute about winter. What happens in the winter? It gets colder, the light grows dimmer, the shadows longer, the days shorter. What could all this mean, physiologically?

In the winter of long ago, food and heat was in shorter supply. This caused everyone to slow down. Our metabolism slowed, we slept more, ate less, and we respected the changing of the seasons. There was less work to do if the crops were in. We didn't have electric light, forcing us to work within the confines of the light of the shorter day.

Our bodies were designed to do this, sort of a pseudo hibernation. What would happen if our bodies, meant to "hibernate" in the winter, were no longer allowed to? What if we still kept to our 8 hours of sleep, 16 hours of waking schedule? What if we were forced to maintain summer routine throughout the winter, as well? Our bodies were deigned to adapt to seasonal changes. If we don't allow them to adapt, we run into problems.

There is a study about the effect of artificial light on people with SAD. They say we may be less sensitive to artificial light than other people.

I was reading about SAD and birth month, saying people who were born in darker months were more susceptible to SAD. Obviously could be true of me, I'm a December baby.

Some of the suggested remedies:

Light therapy: Check. Does it help? A little. Resets the circadian rhythm.
Exercise: Check. Does it help? A little. Gets those endorphins going.
Eating right: Does it help? I don't know.
Getting outside during daylight hours: Does it work? I don't know, I hate the cold. Being cold is one of the worst manifestations for me. Nothing depresses me more than cold.
Antidepressants: Not for me, personal reasons.
Tanning: Not recommended, but does help some people. I used to do it.
Get away to a warm, sunny place: Yeah, right.

Or my favorite: Drink. A lot. OK, now we're talkin'. Kidding, of course. Well, not exactly. Why do people drink more in the winter? Ok, for many people it's a social thing, for some it's tempting because of the temporary sensation of warmth.

But for many people, winter drinking might be related to depression. Ya think? So why is that a problem? Well because, like chocolate, alcohol is a downer. Not only that, but studies show that alcohol disturbs the circadian rhythm, the circadian rhythm being the major culprit for SAD. So alcohol will make a person with SAD feel better, temporarily, but worse in the long run because it will even further disturb the circadian rhythm.

Circadian rhythm disruptions are genetic, as well. My Dad has SAD. My mom and youngest brother have normal sleep patterns that run 4-5 hours later than normal, meaning they naturally go to bed around 2 or 3 AM, sleep till noon. So the circadian disruption runs in my family. I watch for it in my kids, but it doesn't usually show up till adolescence.

I hope some of this info has helped. I don't have all the answers, if I did I wouldn't have a problem anymore.

So I'm going to go hibernate now. Wake me when it's 70 degrees in Portland again.

The TSO Experience

We saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra last night here in Portland.

Interestingly enough, blogger Brian Buriff saw them last night as well, but in Cincinnati, Ohio. How is that possible? Two teams, of course.

Here's what Brian said:

"I was Wowed...The only way to describe the concert is to just string together some words like lightbulbs on a Christmas tree. Here goes: Brilliant, cool, awesome, dazzling, breathless, magical, meaningful, heart-thumping, tasteful, creative, beautiful, surprising, whimsical, inspirational, dazzling, and entrancing. For a few short hours, I was able to lay aside things that otherwise vex my mind and enjoy a perfect night out with Amber, the love of my life."

Brian made it describing this experience easy on me. I can just echo what he said, substituting my husband for Amber, of course.

My husband didn't really want to go. I have been asking for years, and he always said he didn't think it would be worth the money, it didn't really interest him, it wasn't his idea of a concert.

This year for our anniversary (Nov. 2nd) I asked him again if we could go, and I guess he got tired of me asking every year and figured I would shut up if he would take me just once.

Afterwards, he said not only was it better than Ozzy (!), it was akin to seeing G3 (!!) If you knew my husband at all, you'd know G3 was probably the coolest thing since sliced bread.

I have to confess I cried during much of the first half, during Christmas Eve and Other Stories. I guess maybe that's just my winter depression talking (more on that later) or maybe it was the depth of the thought that there are so many people out there who are alone, which especially touches me this time of year. I don't know and I can't explain it, it just moved me more than any event in a very long time. It helped that so much of the message was Godly; it helped me reconnect with Him on a really primal level.

Ok so much for that blathering.

I was especially touched to learn that TSO gives $1 from every ticket to a local charitable organization. This year it was the Community Transitional School, a K-8 school here in Portland that provides continuity of education for Portland's homeless children, providing transportation and meals to these children, allowing them to attend the same school no matter where they are living, even if they move around during their school years.

So last night, if I remember correctly, TSO gave $9600 to the school. Awesome!

I highly recommend this event, really highly. I think you will be duly impressed, whether you are into exceptional musical talent, instrumental skill, lights and lasers and loud, complete with pyrotechnics; or whether your into a profoundly moving message about the real meaning of Christmas.

A Hero

About 30 minutes ago I spontaneously began crying and pleading with God for this man's life. As I prayed, I turned on KATU, where I suddenly knew they would be beginning an announcement.

I was sure they were going to say they had found him in bad shape but nonetheless alive. I was sure that was what God had told me when I was praying- I believed I was praying for his health.

However, the Josephine County Sheriff's Dept. tearfully announced that they located the body of James Kim. KATU should have an update soon. [Edit: it was Brian Anderson, Undersheriff of Josephine County, who was making the announcement, but became emotional and was unable to finish his sentence. OSP Lt. Greg Hastings finished the announcement for him.]


Sometimes I don't understand God. Maybe we just didn't pray hard enough or long enough. Maybe we should have fasted. Who knows?

So now I'm crying and praying for the family. Those little girls will grow up knowing their Daddy died trying to save them. He'll be their hero.

But, then again, aren't all Daddies heroes?

[Edit: KATU's story. CNN's story]

Freedom or Heresy?

My brother has a professional singing gig at a Unitarian Universalist church. He's not a particular subscriber to faith of any kind (which I guess means maybe he belongs in a UU church), but he had this opportunity to further his vocal career.

My parents went to hear him sing two weeks ago. It so happens that a family that lives down the street from my parents attends this church. They are people my parents are friendly with, so my parents sat with them at the service.

At some point in the service, the Pastor-type person asked if there were any visitors, and if there were, could they please stand up so the congregants (or whatever they are called) could welcome newcomers.

My Dad promptly stood, but my mom wasn't real excited about being singled out. So my mom turned to her neighbor Pam and asked,

"Do I have to stand up?"

Pam said to my mom:

"Pat, we're Unitarian. We don't HAVE to do anything."

Shout out!

Rick Meigs (aka The Blind Beggar) shouts out my friends at the Bridge! He even includes a vid!

Comments

Sorry guys - I guess G-mail spontaneously decided not to forward my comments (and other mail) for awhile. I'll think twice about relying on G-mail to let me know.

I think I'm caught up now - I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you!

That's Extortion!

A very good friend of mine works at a group home for teenage girls. These are girls that cannot be cared for by family and that have often been abused in foster care as much or more as in their family life. My friend has worked there for several years, although these days she's just on-call. But last night she was filling in for someone, and she had an experience she has never run into before and will never forget.

One of the girls tried to take her own life.

My friend was working with two other staff. One of the girls had been bathing, and the staff realized she had been in the bath awhile. One of the staff went to tell the girl that it was time to get out of the bath, and the girl responded with "Okay" or something like that. So the staff member initially didn't have any reason to believe anything was wrong, and she was going to give the girl 5 more minutes in the bath. Instantly the voice of God came to her and said "Don't wait!", so she ran and got the key to the door and opened it as quickly as possible. What she found was unimaginable, (my friend said it was "something out of a horror movie") and I won't go into any more detail, but the girl was barely alive.

That staff member who found her and another staff were filled with the spirit of God in that moment of crisis and were able to do everything they needed and had been trained to do. My friend ran to call 911. The paramedics were able to stabilize her and rushed her to the hospital. Thank God, she is physically going to be fine, although she will be in the mental health ward for some time. However, the paramedics said that if the staff had waited the 5 more minutes before interrupting her bath, she would not have survived.

Unfortunately all the other girls in the home witnessed what what went on and were seriously traumatized, so the girls home has a a crisis counseling team going there tonight to talk with the girls. My friend happened to already have an appointment with her counselor for this evening, and I'm so glad she has someone she trusts to work through this with her.

I'm sorry, but I'm crying as I write this because when I was 13, I tried to take my own life. I won't go into details, suffice to say I had my reasons at the time. This shakes me to my core the more I think about it. I can hardly believe now that I thought death was a better option than life, but I can so relate to how this girl felt last night. I know how hopeless it can seem.

Why is it so hard to see beyond our despair? Why does it seem that we will never survive tomorrow? I mean, I understand the factual answer to these questions (life circumstances), but why can we not hope? As I think on this, I realize that much of the key to this is unconditional love. Not just friendship, not just having parents or siblings. It's about having someone love us so much that they would die.

When I was hoping to die, Jesus said even in my sin of despair, satan had no right to demand my life, because He (Jesus) had already paid all of satan's demands for all time. This shocked me because I had never thought of it that way. Having been a good Baptist, I always thought of Jesus' death as payment for sin because God requires sacrifice - but really in much simpler, much more accurate terms:

If God is life, satan is death.
Jesus's gave His life to defeat satan,
because satan would otherwise demand death of us.
In His death, Jesus has ensured life for us.

I know this might be theologically abstract, and I know I'm not articulating that very well through my tears. Please forgive me and try to hear what I'm saying. Jesus had already paid the price that the devil would would want to extract from me for the sin of despair. This knowledge gave me complete and utter peace even in those present circumstances; and even in all the circumstances that have followed in my life, even to this day. Satan was allowed to kill Jesus so that we would never owe anything to satan.

Jesus gave the devil his due so we don't have to.
Satan thought he had won, but Jesus had the last laugh in His return to Life.

We can look to the cross and know that satan has no right to demand that we take our own life, even in our despair. Satan will whisper to us that we are unloved, unworthy, unimportant, because he wants to see us die. That is satan's ultimate goal. He is forever trying to get us to choose death over life: in our sin, in our hate, in our despair.

But because of Jesus, in my ultimate despair, I was able to say "Damnit satan, I belong to Jesus, and because you already killed Jesus, you have no right to ask me to die!"

Hell if I'm going to pay again for something that has already been paid for.

That's extortion!

Amen.

Tinkering...

...with my template. Let me know if things get screwy on you.

One change - the font size. It seems it's been a little small for some people's taste. So I modified it. Hopefully it won't annoy anyone.

Otherwise, I'm just going to be tinkering. Don't mind me.

Oops.

I really do make extra effort to spell people's names correctly, simply because people misspell my last name every damn day.

When I married my husband, one of his sisters said to me, "Your last name isn't Book, it's Book, B-O-O-K, Book", in other words saying the name, and then spelling it and then saying it again. My sis-in-law was not kidding. And kinda like in a spelling bee, sometimes I even have to use it in a sentence. If I didn't, people would almost always want to spell it Buck or Bush. Not only that, but people mispronounce it every day. Unbelievable. It's spelled and said exactly the way people spell it and say it every day; it's not some foreign strangeness. It really isn't rocket science.

[My last name isn't really Book, but it IS an extremely common word, much in the same manner as "book".]

So when I read Jordon Cooper's post today calling our attention to the frequent misspelling of his name, I cringed.

No, I couldn't possibly be one of those stupid people! It's not true! I'm far more observant than that!

Well, I went back through my posts and did a search. It turns out, I AM one of those stupid people.

It was an honest mistake, a short-circuit of my generally amazingly awesome observational skills. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind there is a little voice that is saying, "I told you so, but you wouldn't listen".

Jordon, please accept my sincere apologies. It must be pretty annoying to have your name plastered all over the net; how much worse must it be when people misspell it, thousands of times over the freakin' net.

So for the record, my sidebar and I stand corrected.

[Ironically, I have always managed to spell Scot McKnight with only one t, never once slipping up. Go figure.]

Edit: One obesrvation; after doing a Google search, I find some pretty smart and important people have made the same mistake. So I plead Murphy's Law: "If many people make the same mistake, no one is to blame". Or something like that.

An Atheist Goes Door Knocking

HT Conversation at the Edge - Helen Mildenhal

I couldn't believe this - this is so true and it's so very sad.

"Don't bash on my door before midday on Saturday."

An atheist goes door-knocking at the homes of good Mormons in Salt Lake City.

[Edit: The star of this video is John Safran, an Australian media personality. ]