Venues?

There is talk going around again about "Video Venues"...in other words the satellite worship venues offered by some larger churches. I could weigh in with personal experience from the church I am out-of, but I'm not going to.

Scot McKnight is talking about it today. Bob Hyatt talked about it recently, as did Steve McCoy, and a number of others.

Bottom line: As consumeristic sheep, I wonder if our tendency is to believe that the Pastor of a church that draws 5000 people must be better and more important than other Pastors. We should begin to remember that God works through all men who preach Christ. Not only the Pastor of the megachurch who draws so many that there isn't enough room for all who want to hear him, but also the Pastor of the small church plant with 80 memnbers and the Pastor of the tiny house church where babies cry during service.

1 Cor 3:4-7 "For when one says, "I follow Paul," and another, "I follow Apollos," are you not mere men? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

I believe God can feed me through anyone who preaches Christ. After all, it's God's job to feed me, the words of men are just the vessels. And although I believe in the necessity of being connected with one particular body as our main source of fellowship (tho I'm not in practice at the moment), as far as teaching is concerned, I could church-hop and still know that God would make sure that I hear what He wants me to hear.

It's not about the preachin' man. It's about the Risen Man.

Pondering Poetry...worth sharing?

some of the people don't get me
chances are they'll never see
i can't explain the things that be
someday God will set us free

i didn't ask to be in this place
i only believed in the given grace
i didn't want to be a lonely face
i just wanted to be embraced

He said my eyes were getting dim
He said He wanted to fix them
adjusted vision would make me spin
but i just had to trust Him

He said i'd be confused at first
He said the beginning would be the worst
i would adapt, and although i cursed
so gently that He nursed

a coocoon He spun and wrapped me in
i lay in a sleepy restful skin
He said wait till it gets thin
then i'd emerge and life would begin

now He's training me to fly
freedom in the great blue sky
butterfly begins, the old self dies
on Him i can rely

for He feeds the birds and trees and bees
and watches over them with ease
as i rise and fall upon His breeze
i realize that He loves me.

"Bit by the Emerging Bug"

Great post over at Emerging Grace titled "Bit by the Emerging Bug".

Quote:

"It is helpful for me to remember how differently I saw things in my pre-emergent days. When I viewed the church with institutional glasses, I would not have seen or understood any of the emerging conversation. It was simply out of context to my belief system.

For those who haven't contracted the emerging virus, there is no ability to see. It is like color-blindness, in that what is visible to one person, doesn't even register to another person."

The World According to America

Ok this was so totally laugh-out-loud funny I couldn't resist.

"Being able to laugh at oneself." Scott Williams.

I guess I can...laugh at myself, I mean...

...."Yurop"...haahaahaa...

I commented there that I guess that makes me of "Yuropeen" ancestry...my Great-grandma would get a huge kick out of that!

Homilophobia?

via Darryl Dash

Homilophobia - Fear of Sermons. You mean there's actually a name for it? Is this for real?

"Known by a number of names - Homilophobia and Fear of Sermons being the most common - the problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates. Symptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, although everyone experiences homilophobia in their own way and may have different symptoms."

I wonder what they call the fear of those little fill-in-the-blank sheets of paper they give you each week at church? Maybe Kenophobia - fear of voids or empty spaces. I guess I also have Ecclesiophobia - Fear of church.

Interesting.

discouraged...

no particular reason. i guess periodically i have to evaluate whether or not i'm on the right track with God in any particular area of life. not that i'm off track...

i think it's like this...God generally just let's us know where we're going with Him one step at a time...i believe occasionally He reveals the big picture to us...but for day-to-day life i think we just have to know the step we're on and look for the next one. that's it.

i'm not saying this is a BAD thing...quite the opposite. then we don't get too fixated on where we're going, or even fixate on the process...and we have to ultimately trust that God will provide the next place to set our feet...and eventually He'll get us to where He wants us to go.

like in "raiders of the lost ark" (i think?) ...we can't see how to get from here to there (wherever "there" is on our journey...the next place of rest?) until we take a step of faith...suddenly a stepping-stone appears underfoot. and another. and another.

but what about when that "next step" is elusive...i've never before felt so unsure of what to do next. that's not to say that i believe i must always be "doing" something...in fact's how i got myself in trouble in the first place. i was "doing" when i was supposed to be standing still.

now i fear the reverse is true...am i standing still when i am supposed to be stepping? how do i know? i usually feel God is only a heartbeat away...He's so near...and it's not that i feel He's not near...i just can't see Him clearly enough to know if He's ahead of me, bidding me come, or if He's right next to me, standing here with me, telling me to be patient while i await the next step.

22 months ago, He bid me "rest" and i did not listen. 14 months ago He bid me again...and I reluctantly complied. begrudgingly. hesitantly. 12 months ago...as if He were saying "can you hear me now!?"...He knocked me down...literally...i know people don't like to attribute "bad" things to God, but it's true. He knocked me flat on my back and said "If you won't REST when I tell you, I will have to MAKE you! It's for your own good!"...and i think it was one of the best things that's ever happened to me...

and I've been "resting ever since. i've been resting for a year. a YEAR. in the beginning it was complete rest. there was nothing left of my faith but Him. i was a "bedridden christian" (literally and figuratively). gradually He's been adding stuff back in...one thing at a time. carefully and precisely...the only thing left that He hasn't added back in now is "church"...and that's where I'm stuck.

it's not that i think i HAVE to be in church because christians are supposd to be in church. anyone who has read here very long knows that. it's that i KNOW i am going to return...He told me so...anyone who's been reading here very long knows that, too. He has never realeased me from "church"...not entirely...not yet anyhow...He certainly still could...but until i know differently, i will stick to what i know...that He wants me to return someday.

should i wait for a sign? like a clear shout? or should i take a step of faith and actually "go" somewhere? i am SO SO fearful of returning...and all i hear right now is whispering...i know God is in the whisper (as Cindy pointed out the other day in a comment)... and i've heard that whisper before...

but what if the whisper is so quiet i can't quite make out what it's saying?

just wondering.

Meeting Together?

I have always wondered about Hebrews 10:25 "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

I think this passage has been tossed at me more than any other verse since I left. So what specifically does this passage mean? How should we define "meeting together"? Is it defined by the next phrase "encourage one another"? And should we meet more frequently as time passes?

I did some digging over at BLB...didn't come to any real conclusions. The precise Greek for "meeting together" is episunagoge (Strong's 1997) is only used in one other place: 2 Thes. 2:1 "Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers..."

I understand the reasons for the "assembly" i.e. "church"...how important it is just to have corporate worship...for teaching...for encouragement...

...but here's the thing that bothers me...the "encourage" part. If the "gathering" is supposed to be a place of encouragement...a place where I can be held up when I am down, a place where I can be encouraged when I am struggling...a place for support when I am troubled...

...why wasn't it that for me? When I found myself in a season of discouragement and darkness...the "assembly" just kicked me when I was down. "If you really want out, well then good riddance!". There was no sense of uplifting or support.

Certainly if I were to be in a place of grief...they would be there for me, because that is a "righteous" discouragement...but since I was questioning the "assembly" in and of itself, I was basically left to rot in my own bitterness. No one ever offered to dialogue with me about my discouragement...no one ever offered to "meet with me" to encourage me, to discuss the reasons for my struggle. There was no "intervention" when I left...no "why is this happening...is there anything we can do to help?"

Maybe it's because of self-incrimination...I can't expect "in church" believers to dialogue with me about why I left any more than I can expect a criminal on trial to testify against himself (though I like to think we operate the church a little differently than the legal system)...maybe they are afraid of "catching" what I've got. Maybe it doesn't matter...I don't think anything anyone said would have changed my mind. But it does matter, for at least I would have felt loved. I would have felt that the "assembly" cared enough to try. Maybe "church" as we know it isn't the "meeting together" that the Author of Hebrews meant...for he clearly indicates "the meeting" is to be a place of "encouragement"...

I'm not saying I was looking for confrontation...quite the opposite. I am not saying I wanted people to challenge me. Maybe that's what I NEEDED...but what I wanted was for someone to care...for someone to even notice that I was gone. For someone to call and make a date with me....even the people I truly believed were mature enough to notice and care...didn't.

I do know Jesus noticed. I posted awhile back about that. But I am beginning to think more and more that Jesus doesn't see the people who are "out of church" as lost...I think He sees the church as more than just the "church in a building"...so If I am not attending church but I still count myself as part of the Church (big C)...then Jesus sees me as "in" Church and not "out of Church". Get what I'm saying? His definition of "Church" is different from ours.

Considering Matthew 18:20...I have "church" just as often now than when I was in the "regular assembly". I have "church" every time I have coffee and conversation with another believer ...every time I talk to one of my kids about Jesus...every time I interact with another Christian blogger...

So I am struggling with the notion of returning to such a place. I have received more encouragement about my struggles with the "assembly" from other unchurched friends and bloggers than I ever did when I was "in church". And the interesting thing is...these "unchurched" people I associate with are not necessarily singing the praises of being "out", they are not trying to avoid church forever...many of them don't want to be "out", or at least not permanently...they are seeking healing and balancing so they can be healthy enough to return to the "assembly" again. So it's not like we are patting each other on the back for being "out".

If the "church people were so "concerned" about me...worried that I was fallen away or even in danger of losing my salvation because I wasn't attending church...if it was THAT serious...why wasn't anything done to stop me from leaving?

I would think that if it was THAT important to Jesus...He would have seen something done (not just about me but about all who are among the masses in exodus)...goodness knows I PRAYED for Him to stop me..."Protect me from myself, Lord! Protect me from what my humanity would like to do to my faith!"... and yet I was still able to walk out, almost as if on a tether...

I wonder if He smiles as we walk out...knowing we will be more likely to find "the Church" if we are out of "the church".



Note: Here and other places I use "little c" and "big C" to differentiate between the two kinds of church. The church (little c) is the building where we go to attend services and the specific people who belong to such a building. The Church (big C) is Christ's Body as a whole...all the believers in all places...and the way Christ intended US to be and behave. Church (big C) is also used as meaning the "Kingdom of God"... the order in which God would have all things be.

Sarcasm

My hubby sometimes gets mad at me because he can't always tell when I'm being sarcastic and when I'm being serious. I guess it dawned on me that if he can be in the same room with me and not be able to tell, that sometimes people reading my written word will have that much more trouble discerning my tone. If I have said anything that just seems "off" to you, chances are I wasn't being serious. But if I have offended you by my sarcastic wit, please forgive me.

Maybe sarcasm isn't a Christian virtue, but sometimes I use it to make a point. I certainly don't want there to be any confusion...I'll try to indicate when I'm being sarcastic, but when in doubt, feel free to ask me...

Quizzes

Every so often I pop over to Blogthings just for fun. Sometimes it's entertaining to find out What Kind of Coffee you are or What 2007 Car you should drive.

But the "What Kind Of Soul Are You" one that I posted was so interesting to me that I had to share it. I love the simplicity of something like this...it articulates me so accurately in so few words. It helps me see myself clearly, strenghts and weakenesses and all.

Consider it a snapshot of who Lily is.

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Friends

I usually have a long "to-read" blog list...whenever I come across a post that I want to read, but just don't have the time at that particular moment, I bookmark it to read later.

Once in awhile I have free time that I use to "clean up" my "to-read" list. Today was one of those days...usually once I read something on my "to-read" list, I will move the bookmark elsewhere to a more appropriate category: Articles I Dig, Stuff to Blog, or For Future Reference. This one falls into the "Stuff to Blog" category.

So anyhow...I came across this December 14th post by Scot McKnight at Jesus Creed, titled "The Emerging-Evangelical Discussion: The One Needful thing 1"

This might be an old read for some of you...but I have to tell you how this impacted me. I have shared here and there in my posts about the change I have experienced in some close friendships during my "unchurched" season. It has been hard, as it always is when you find the people you once called "friend" really no longer are...but would be again if I were to return to church.

In this post, Scot is talking about friendship and it's ability to withstand disagreement.

"...no matter where we stand, when we are done discussing something, we still should be friends. We remain friends because we love one another, not because we are convenient for one another or support one another or agree with one another. We remain friends because we are committed to the same Person and the same Vision (Kingdom) and root our identity in the same Theo-Drama (Scripture).

...There are three kinds of friendship, and what kind we have determines whether or not we can remain friends through conversation."

Scot goes on to discuss those three kinds of friendship:

"Three Kinds of Friendship in Aristotle (NE 8.3.1-6)

1 Utility: loving another “in so far as some benefit accrues to them from each other.”

2 Pleasure: loving another “because that person is agreeable to us” or because that person “is a source of pleasure.”

3 Virtue: those who love another and so “wish the good of their friends for their friends’ sake … [and] who love each other for themselves and not accidentally.”

He goes on to say:

"A good way to measure where you are “fit” for this conversation is to see what happens to you when you disagree. Right then you’ll know if your friendship is one of utility, pleasure, or virtue.

The only genuine conversation going on is between friends of virtue."

I'll echo that: "see what happens when you disagree". I think there are some friendships that can only go so far with you...and you them.

I don't think friendships of "utility" or of "pleasure" are necessarily a bad thing...as long as you recognize them as such, and don't expect those friendships to behave as friendships of "virtue".

Jesus had different "levels" of disciples...the 72, the 12, the 3. Beth Moore talks about "the place of further still"...in Matthew 26:36-46 in the garden of Gethsemane...Jesus had the 12 who could go only so far with Him, the 3 who could go a little further yet, but in the end He had to go "further still" to pray, all alone with God. No one could come with Him.

So many of my friends could only go so far with me in this season, I have 3 that were able to go further, but for awhile it was just me and God, I had no one, no other thing, to cling to.

Virtue: Some are friends I can be honest with in my deepest pain and struggles and they will treat me gently. I can agree to disagree with them and know they are still my friends. They want what's best for me and will speak into my life accordingly.

Pleasure: Some I can share "places" in life with - social gatherings, ministry, etc. but I would not choose to reveal my innermost heart to them...not because I don't trust them but because God only intends them to have a certain level of relationship with me.

Utility: Some I can share mutual aspects of life with...like swapping babysitting or carpool, because it is useful to us to be able to share those places, but I would likely not spend much time with socially, not because I dislike them, but because that is just "how far we go" together.

I think the biggest mistake for me was in assuming and believing that all my friends were friends of "virtue", and trusting and revealing myself to them accordingly...and then struggling with the disappointment when finding out that some were only friends of "pleasure" and some were of "utility" - and that was how they viewed their relationship with me, as well. I'm not saying that some of my friends were "bad" friendships, just different.

Finding out, in the season of "disagreement" - i.e., my unchurched status, for one example - the real measure of some of my friendships was hard, and yet, I am reassured in the realization that this is the way God designed it, even for Jesus.

There is a FOURTH level of friend - The "Perfect" friend. The Friend who loves me perfectly, judges me justly, and holds me unfailingly.

So, one of the most important things for me in this season has been learning that some friends can only go so far with me, and learning to be OK with that as part of God's design. So I have had to learn to be willing to go, ALONE, closer into God, where even my friends of virtue could not accompany me.

And yet, I find, I am still not ALONE. There is a Perfect Friend who can "go there" with me.

And I am forever changed by being willing to go, alone with my Jesus, into that "place of further still" with God.

The Mysterious Code

OK I give up...at the very bottom of all my pages there is a little piece of "div" code...yes I know it's there, but I can't seem to find it in my code.

If anyone (hubby are you listening?) wants to take a look at my code and tell me where I've gone wrong...I would appreciate it. You'd be worthy of 100 brownie points...not that they are worth anything...but it's the thought that counts, right?

Wow, this hits a nerve with me...

Article by Kevin Miller at CT titled:

"No Church? No Problem."
"George Barna wants commitment to the local congregation to sink lower than ever."

This is the last paragraph...I like it.
"Do you want to become a Revolutionary? First, trade your copy of "Revolution" for "Life Together", the manifesto written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer during the dark days of Nazi Germany. Then, if you want to do heroic and revolutionary exploits, go back to your local church. That's something so spiritually challenging that several million people no longer want to do it."

I guess that sums it up for me...I have never read "Life Together", but I think I am going to go looking for it. I guess I have been individualistic in this season. While a certain amount of it has been necessary for my own spiritual health...a certain amount has been my lack of desire to DEAL with the church anymore...it's just too dang hard.

But it's at least as hard (I think) to be disassociated from the church (little "c")...to be isolated, to be judged and criticized...and to have this horrible nagging doubt that maybe I AM wrong to be out...not because other people tell me it's wrong, not because the bible says "meet together" (which I do, just not in church)...

...but because Christ wants us all to be unified under the banner of His love and grace. Not because we HAVE to meet together in "church", but because choosing NOT to meet together in "church" leads to disunity.

Another case of having to look at Christianity backwards. Not WHY should we be in church, or WHY we should not be "going it alone", but WHAT happens to the Church (big "C") when we DO NOT meet?

Here's to thinking about it.

via Jason Clark

It's getting to be that time...

After almost a year I am feeling tugged to return. I know I have said that before...but it's growing...not only internally but externally.

Most of my Blog has been rather Me-centric...it's been my venue for healing...venting...and healing some more. I had to complain aloud to hear how I sound. I have had to face my own bitterness...and look inside as well as outside for the reasons for my pain. In the end (is this really the end? I think not.) I have come to realize that complaining doesn't solve anything...leaving doesn't get me heard...anger doesn't get me healed. And is it really Christ-like to, when faced with something painful...to run? To hide? To whine? Of course not. I knew that all along...I just didn't have it in me to fight...I needed to rest. Resting didn't have to involve complaining...I am human...that was what came out of me in sorting through all this.

I feel the healing I have been through in this season has been priceless...and I know I could not have experienced it IN the church...at least the church that I'm out-of. I look back and can't believe, in retrospect, what a wreck I was when I left. I think back to the condition of my spirituality (I was nearly "done" with God), my frame of mind ( I was nearly "done" with the church permanently), the condition of my emotions (I was ready to throw my marriage away)...

What God has done:
1) Freed me from "religion" and allowed me to be a God-lover rather than a God-defender
2) Freed me from the belief that I must believe/obey what I'm told by others (Pastors, teachers) in blind faith
3) Healed my marriage after 10+ years of struggle (that's a long story)

He's also freed me from most of my coping mechanisms...the unhealthy ways in which I dealt with past and present pain...and not that this freedom is permanent...but I've come so far. I know better how to deal, and I know better how to fight a relapse. My coping mechanisms were non-conventional...but they were destructive nonetheless.

I'm not feeling pressured to return...it's more like a stirring from the inside...like a voice calling from far away...I can't quite articulate it.

Thinking of all the reasons I left...those same reasons now seem like reasons to return. Isn't that strange?

Ode to the Ellipsis...

A friend and I were talking a bit...
about the merits of the ellipsis...

it's an unusual way...
to pause what you say...
or to drift off or fade...
or breathe or evade...
it's annoying to some...
you may think it's dumb...
but I do have to tell...
I think its just swell...

Just a note to anyone who wonders...why my speech...is often punctuated...by three small dots...it's a horrible habit...do they have a 12 step program for that...?

Thanks...

to Bob for noticing and mentioning my little bit of cleverness - "pomerganic".

Emerging, postmodern...organic...I guess I get tired of trying to figure out what to call it...sometimes I even get confused...so thought I'd make it simple by combining all of the above. Try explaining THAT word to someone!

Any other words we should add to the mix? Pomerganic+Missional = Pomerganical?

Kidding!

Yes I said "Pomerganic"

If ---> Postmodern + Emerging = Pomerging

Then ---> Pomerging + Organic = Pomerganic

You heard it here first, folks.

OK, This Makes Me Sad!

The Church Report's 50 Most Influential Christians. I've never paid much attention to this list before...for some reason it caught me this year.

via Addison Road...where Michael Lee points out that Billy Graham is only #3.

#1 T.D. Jakes beat Billy Graham? Huh? (OK, sure, but # 1 ???) (#6 last year)

#2 Joel Osteen beat Billy Graham? Double Huh? (Do we REALLY need a church that big? Goes with your head, Joel) (#5 last year)

I guess I should note that Pres. Bush (#1) and Mel Gibson (#2) beat Billy Graham (#3) last year. The man gets no RESPECT. Billy Graham should be the most influential Christian for ALL TIME. My $.02.

....................................................

That said...there are all the "expected" people on the list, but there are some entries I particularly like, dislike, or wouldn't expect. Their previous ranking is noted in parentheses.

#8 President George W. Bush - (#1 last year)

#11 Luis Palau - Portland's man! (Not listed last year)

#23 Jay Sekulow from the ACLJ - This guy is helping us Christians know our rights! (#49 last year)

#25 Rob Bell of Mars Hill and NOOMA - If you haven't checked out NOOMA, you should. (Not listed last year)

#30 Benny Hinn ??? - No comment... (#19 last year)

#32 Len Sweet - He's the man! (Not listed last year)

#40 Sean Hannity - OK, I can see this...didn't expect it tho. (Not listed last year)

#42 Brian McLaren - Need I say more? (Not listed last year)

# 43 Erwin McManus - The Barbarian (#33 last year)

#44 Pope Benedict XVI - Only #44?? (Not listed last year for obvious reasons. Pope John Paul II not listed last year)

#45 Beth Moore - YAY! She taught me everything I know about the Bible! (well not everything...but lots of it.) (Not listed last year)

#50 Dr. Phil ???? Umm, okaaay... in echoing Michael Lee...huh?(#50 last year)

Of Note: Last year Pat Roberston was #17...this year he's noticeably absent. Hmm...is he listening?

You can see more of our "pomerganic" people are being recognized for making a difference! Yay!

Edit: Sometimes I think before I speak. We all do. I just want to say in hindsight if any of my ruminations about this list offended you, I am truly sorry. I was simply poking fun...maybe where I shouldn't have. All these people are working for Gods kindgom...I don't deny that, even if I don't agree with their particular approach. I thank God for people who are willing to give so much of themselves...and I know God can use them.

Why do we watch AI?

So last night hubby and I found ourselves plunked down in front of the moving pictures box...watching American Idol. We came into it about halfway through because we'd had a guest over until then.

And we were engrossed...the kids were in bed (sort-of) and we had a few good laughs over it, just like everyone else in America.

But why? I mean...honestly...why is it entertaining to watch celebrities like Simon Cowell belittle and berate and humiliate these auditioners? Why are the people who are making an honest attempt at a singing career the butt of brutal jokes? I know some of these people are downright ridiculous on purpose...in the hopes of getting on TV not because of their talent, but because of their sheer lack of it...they know they will be made fun of (still, is it right?...I guess, like a comedian, if they want to be laughed at...maybe it's OK)

OK, I know that's not what it's all about...It's the American Dream...fame...fortune...and some of these people will end up with a legitimate opportunity to succeed. I generally like the top 12-and-up part of Idol...the comments from the judges become significantly less harsh and more constructive...

I understand why the producers feel it's necessary to air these humiliations...BECAUSE IT'S ENTERTAINING...

And you can say these people know what they are in for. they have probably watched the other seasons...they know how harsh the judges can be...but they can't possibly foresee every conceivable comment that might come out of Simon's mouth...comments they will have a hard time living down among their family and friends.

Should we as Christians be regular viewers of this show? I'm not sure God would be pleased with our entertainment at the expense of some honestly hopeful individuals.

I'm not taking a Holier-than-thou approach to this...I'm just wondering out loud. I can't say that I won't watch it...I'm just not sure my Father likes it.

Comments?

Tender Kisses....

...from my 6 year old are the best. They were the best from his brother when he was 6 too. Still so much kid and yet still so baby. (He'd hate it if he knew I said that.)

Nothing can make me melancholy like the thought that before long those kisses will give way to soccer cleats and grass stains, algebra and geography, cell phones and curfews.

And eventually empty bedrooms.

And someday (I hope), eventually, those tender kisses will reappear in my babies babies.

Life marches on.

I haven't Forgotten...

Back on December 7, I said I would soon be posting more on my personal beliefs and faith. I haven't forgotten...just have not had the time to devote to study before making any statements I might regret. I am working on it.

I am no intellectual nor theologian...these will be ordinary everyday thoughts on ordinary everyday belief; heaven, hell and the supernatural; creation vs. evolution; tithing; prayer; the authority and infallibility of the Bible; and whatever else comes to mind.

I'm sure some people will have great Biblical and theological arguments against what I have to say, although if it works well in argument and looks good on paper, but doesn't work in practice, or is too difficult to understand, then it doesn't do me much good.

I believe my faith should consist of real everyday practical beliefs...the things I can make a part of my day-to-day-life. I can't grasp lofty and complicated theologies, I can only actually know what I actually live...

And this is certainly not to say that I'm right on these issues or that I believe I have all the answers. These are just going to be my thoughts and my reality based on personal experience and application of my faith in the real world.

But my experiences are subjective and limited. So on anything I might say on these issues...

I could be wrong.

Why Can't We Just Believe?

Words like confession and discipline and consecration...words like ecclesiolology and Trinity and theology...words like parachurch and ecumenical and universality...words like denomination and doctrine and redemption...words like conservative and liberal and evangelical...words like missional and incarnational and historical...words like evolution and creation and intelligent design...words like reformation and revolution and redefinition...words like interpretation and exegesis and hermeneutics...words like sacrifice and sanctification and atonement...words like infallible and literal and absolute...words like liturgy and ritual and sacrament...

How many of the Disciples would understand our religious vocabulary? Would they still recognize the message? Instead they used words like faith hope and love...joy, gospel and grace...

Why must we make it into a science, technical and studious? Why can't we just believe? It's not that simple, you say? Why not? Who complicated it? It wasn't Jesus, that's for sure.

I believe He came in simplicity so we could not complicate it.
I believe He came in humility so we could not take pride in it.
I believe He came in grace so we could not judge.
I believe He came in love so that we could not hate.
I believe He died in the flesh so we could have life in the Spirit.

I Believe.

The Spirituality of 404 Errors and Redirects

So I was lying in bed the other night, having a conversation with God about something that was troubling me. Suddenly, I heard God say He wants to change me from a 404 error (Page Not Found) to a redirect (Page Moved).

Huh? OK, obviously He knows I'm a geek and He spoke to me in my language...I did have to ask Him if He was speaking of my relationship with Him or my relationship with the church. He said the church, and it all made perfect sense to me.

In order to share it more effectively, I went to Wikpedia for some articulate definitions. Here's an abbreviated version of what I found.

404 or Not Found error message is an HTTP standard response code indicating that a client was able to communicate with the server, but the server either could not find what was requested, or was unwilling to fulfill the request for it and did not wish to reveal the reason why.

URL redirection is a technique on the world wide web for making a web page available under many URLs. URL redirection may be used to redirect a URL to a page on the same web server. Or it may be used to redirect a URL to a web page on another web server. In the HTTP computer protocol used by the World Wide Web, a redirect is a response with a status code beginning with 3 that induces a browser to go to another location.

So in the 404 error, with me being the client and the church being the server...I have been frustrated, complaining that the server refuses to meet my needs...and the church just gives me the excuse that it can't give me what I have asked for because it can't find it, or it just says "No" and refuses to tell me why.

In the redirect, the client or browser (me) is being told to go to another page on the same server (a different place in the same church) or to got to another server altogether (another church).

So I decided to do some research. I went to BlueLetterBible and first looked up the word "direct". I came up with a Vine's entry and three verse references.

Direct: Strong's #2720 kateuthuno "to make straight" (kata, "down," intensive, euthus, "straight," euthuno, "to straighten"), is translated "guide" in Luk 1:79, of the Lord's "guidance" of the feet of His people; "direct," in 1Th 3:11, of His "directing" the way of His servants; in 2Th 3:5, of His "directing" the hearts of His saints into the love of God.

So in that sense, I guess He means that he will "direct me again". Cool

But what I found under "lost" (I tried "not found" and "missing" first...no contextual luck) was interesting...it was more work to weed through the matches, but via John 18:9, I ended up at Jeremiah 23: 1-4:

"Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture!" declares the LORD. Therefore this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to the shepherds who tend my people: "Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done," declares the LORD. "I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them and will bring them back to their pasture, where they will be fruitful and increase in number. I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing," declares the LORD."

Just to check my understanding...I went to Matthew Henry at BLB for Jeremiah 23:1-8. I won't quote it here because I want you to go see for yourself. in any case, quoting it would likely give the wrong impression.

I'm not one who takes joy in or gloats over God's perceived wrath...in this case against Pastors who have not cared for their flocks...I make no broad accusations or judgments...I know so many of them do their very best and it is the expectations of the flock that often cause the problems (including me).

I only take away from this that God is paying attention to what is going on, and He knows of the "missing sheep" and will see to their care.

I like that.

I still don't know where I'll be but I know He's preparing the way for me to return. I am no longer one of the "missing" but one of the "moving on".