Winter's Moody Blues

Warning, this will be a long-ish post.

For the last two weeks, I have felt horrible.
Like hubby-better-guard-the-credit-cards-or-I-might-run-away-to-Cali horrible.
Yeah, I might. Seems downright enticing, some days.
I'm only half-kidding.

I am doing everything right (the light, the exercise, the eating right), and the Doc said it wouldn't be so bad this year. He was wrong. Bad as ever.

So lately I find myself fantasizing about spending 6 months a year in the southern hemisphere and forgo the autumn and winter completely. Anyone down under want to adopt me? Susan?

Yesterday, Gary Means posted about S.A.D. I had been hesitant to talk about it but after reading Gary's post, and knowing there are others out there who struggle like I do, I decided to write.

First, a refresher. I did post a about SAD here last year, too:

"When I was a kid I used to make fun of retired folks who would get in their motorhomes in October and migrate south for the winter. Now I easily imagine I will join their ranks someday, when the kids are grown and the husband is retired, the sooner the better.

"Without treatment, I am a soggy pile of mush, unable to find motivation for anything, unable to be happy about anything, I want to sleep 14 hours a day, I eat carbs and sugar like a pig (not that that's not a problem otherwise, but it is definitely worse in the winter) and the worst...I am constantly short tempered and angry with my kids, or ambivalent and uninvolved. I also get easily stressed and overwhelmed (to the point of dropping everything, falling on my knees and crying). I get forgetful, have trouble concentrating and remembering appointments and tasks.

"If you suspect you have SAD, or for more information, check out the links at the beginning of this post or Google it, then see your Doctor. Find out from a professional the treatment that's right for you. But don't be ashamed or afraid to admit it. It's not just "all in your head". I'll back you up."

Realizing that post was at the beginning of November last year, it seems that all my "doing everything right" has at least postponed the worst of the depression until like a month later in the year. Of course, the NEW factor this year is my Type II, which contributes to the depression in many ways, but I think also had had it's benefits, because it's only due to the Type II that I have gotten my shit together in the diet and exercise categories this year.

Here's something I said in the comments on Gary's post:

"And it's an evil, self perpetuating cycle because the worse I feel, the more chocolate I eat, which makes my Type II misbehave, which makes my feet hurt, which makes it hard to exercise, which makes my numbers go up more, which makes me more depressed which makes me eat more junk...blah, blah, blah. I try to subvert the cycle by recognizing it and just getting on the treadmill for 5 minutes when I feel like binging. Sometimes I do, sometimes not."

Yes, there is something in chocolate. We already know that. It's my safest drug of choice. Unfortunately, like any drug, chocolate is short-term, and leaves us with a greater downer in the end.

Some lesser known facts about Seasonal Affective Disorder:

SAD seems to be a mystery, a phantom to many people. But it is gaining notoriety. Is the case of SAD more common now than it was 50 years ago? Of course not, now we just have a name for it.

What causes it? In my research, I discovered some interesting information.

Let's think for a minute about winter. What happens in the winter? It gets colder, the light grows dimmer, the shadows longer, the days shorter. What could all this mean, physiologically?

In the winter of long ago, food and heat was in shorter supply. This caused everyone to slow down. Our metabolism slowed, we slept more, ate less, and we respected the changing of the seasons. There was less work to do if the crops were in. We didn't have electric light, forcing us to work within the confines of the light of the shorter day.

Our bodies were designed to do this, sort of a pseudo hibernation. What would happen if our bodies, meant to "hibernate" in the winter, were no longer allowed to? What if we still kept to our 8 hours of sleep, 16 hours of waking schedule? What if we were forced to maintain summer routine throughout the winter, as well? Our bodies were deigned to adapt to seasonal changes. If we don't allow them to adapt, we run into problems.

There is a study about the effect of artificial light on people with SAD. They say we may be less sensitive to artificial light than other people.

I was reading about SAD and birth month, saying people who were born in darker months were more susceptible to SAD. Obviously could be true of me, I'm a December baby.

Some of the suggested remedies:

Light therapy: Check. Does it help? A little. Resets the circadian rhythm.
Exercise: Check. Does it help? A little. Gets those endorphins going.
Eating right: Does it help? I don't know.
Getting outside during daylight hours: Does it work? I don't know, I hate the cold. Being cold is one of the worst manifestations for me. Nothing depresses me more than cold.
Antidepressants: Not for me, personal reasons.
Tanning: Not recommended, but does help some people. I used to do it.
Get away to a warm, sunny place: Yeah, right.

Or my favorite: Drink. A lot. OK, now we're talkin'. Kidding, of course. Well, not exactly. Why do people drink more in the winter? Ok, for many people it's a social thing, for some it's tempting because of the temporary sensation of warmth.

But for many people, winter drinking might be related to depression. Ya think? So why is that a problem? Well because, like chocolate, alcohol is a downer. Not only that, but studies show that alcohol disturbs the circadian rhythm, the circadian rhythm being the major culprit for SAD. So alcohol will make a person with SAD feel better, temporarily, but worse in the long run because it will even further disturb the circadian rhythm.

Circadian rhythm disruptions are genetic, as well. My Dad has SAD. My mom and youngest brother have normal sleep patterns that run 4-5 hours later than normal, meaning they naturally go to bed around 2 or 3 AM, sleep till noon. So the circadian disruption runs in my family. I watch for it in my kids, but it doesn't usually show up till adolescence.

I hope some of this info has helped. I don't have all the answers, if I did I wouldn't have a problem anymore.

So I'm going to go hibernate now. Wake me when it's 70 degrees in Portland again.