Why do we blog?

i'm typing this in my treo and i get tired of having to hit option for capitol letters. so sue me. also when i refer to "real" world versus the virtual, please don't take that as an insult. it's simply a term of differentiation.

i have been thinking lately about why we blog. not just me, but any of us who do this as a hobby rather than a profession. and i'm mostly thinking along the lines of us emerging-postmodern-whatever-the-counter-stream-terminology-is-today (un) churchy-type people.

obviously the first answer is that we have something to say. it may be irrelevant whether or not anyone cares what we are saying (though it's nice to have at least a few regular readers).

i can't speak for everyone, but i think many of us were seeking a platform for our voice. maybe in our "real" world we have no voice, are afforded no opinion. or maybe no one liked what we had to say, maybe we had been quieted and shushed for what we brought up in conversations.

maybe this idea of blogging was simply a place to "think out loud", because many of us know we process out most intense and passionate feelings (especially of a spiritual nature) verbally. i know for myself when i read what i have written, i am presented with new insight simply by rereading my own thoughts.

one more thing. i think many of us simply were searching for other people to tell us we're ok. in our "real" worlds, it can be difficult and there can be so much at stake in revealing some of our innermost thoughts. we can blog (some of us anonymously) with relatively little risk. who cares if strangers don't like what we say? we have no ultimate relationship with them and therefore it is no loss if they dislike us. (i hope you realize i am speaking facetiously. i value all of you and i DO appreciate your opinions, but when i started this blog, i felt there was nothing to lose. if you know what i mean.)

eventually those people who might peruse and comment on our blogs do become friends of a sort. though the manifestation of these types of virtual relationships is different, in many ways it is no less valuable than our "real" relationships. we might need, even treasure the opportunity to know people whom we otherwise would never have met, people we can be altogether transparent with and who can be honest in turn with us. i have to tell you there have been times i have posted and the responses i have received were a far cry from what i wanted or expected to hear. not because the responses were bad or hurtful, but because they were surprisingly honest.

a friend once asked me if i am really myself on my blog of if i find it a place where i can be "anyone i want to be". initially my answer was "of course i'm myself", but upon further consideration i find that really both are true. i am myself, but a more honest, more open version of myself than i can be with almost anyone in my real world. there are people who i know in the "real" world who read my blog, and i think all have been surprised at one time or another by something i have said here. but i feel a freedom in cyberspace to step beyond my usual boundaries, to go to places where i might not go with many of my "real" friends. For fear of hurting them, offending them, or losing them.

but i have never said anything (that I'm aware of) simply because i'm anonymous here, simply because i can. i don't think i have said anything here that was simply to get a reaction or for shock value. instead what i find of myself here is a deeper truer self than i can sometimes be with "real" people. that's not for even a second to say that i have problem with the fact that we may have to guard ourselves more carefully with "real-world" relationships. however, we can certainly experience more fear in losing "real" relationships because we have to be face-to-face with those people. we might feel there is less at stake in the virtual world. does that mean i never regret what i write here? of course not. there is probably 25% regret on this blog, maybe not always for the content (though often for the content) but for how i may have worded things, how i may have offended someone, been simply foolish or even a little crazy. i don't want to offend you, i don't want you to think i'm crazy, but this is a learning experience for me, and you all for the most part have been incredibly patient with me.

so moving right along.

i can't help but wonder if there is something missing in the real lives of many bloggers, that we seek and find something out here in virtualland, something so valuable and profound, and yet so intangible. why are we so many voices? we are countless, nameless and faceless. what are we seeking that motivates us to expose ourselves to total strangers?

is it wrong to gain something in "virtual" relationships like we do when we blog? (and please know I'm speaking at the moment of the kind of friendships we may develop in the "christian" blog world. virtual love affairs and such are an entirely different matter.) is there something inherently problematic to have friendships with people you have never (probably never will) met?

does it signify something to be missing in the church as a whole that we are all out here in cyberspace looking for sympathetic friends? are we really that unable to accept people in the "real" world who share our faith but serve a different version of it, that we chase them into this digital reality in order to find acceptance? it's these things i wonder. and no i'm not being critical of blogging or thinking of leaving this space. i'm just wondering if it is significant that there are so many of us and so many of us are church leavers, church break-takers, or at least disillusioned enough to turn to this blogosphere in order to be heard. maybe church leaders need to be less concerned with the content of our words than they should be with the fact that we are sharing those words with virtual people because "real" people have ceased to hear us? maybe they should look hard at how people with dissident voices are treated in their community, wonder what is it that drives us not only to the net but into anonymity and relative obscurity.

so... in case you didn't know, my hubby is a regular reader here; i'm not keeping any secrets from that all-important relationship. and at least 4 of my closest friends read here, also. my mom has read here on occasion, though she doesn't visit very often. so i'm not really hiding from anyone other than the people from the church i left who might chose to use my words against me.

but what is missing from the tangible world that we come to blogger or typepad or whatever? is it the desire to be heard, to be read? is it seeking to fill a void? is it seeking the camaraderie of people who understand what we are going through? do we hope to have some bit of wisdom to offer someone who is going through what we've been through, in the hopes of making life easier for them?

why do i blog?

i come here to process out loud. i come here to hear what other people have to say about my voice, in the relative comfort and safety of my living room. i come here to make new friendships, i come here when i need to be me.

i come here because i love to write and i hope someday i will have the guts to put my name behind my words.

but mostly i come here because i have found in YOU a measure of acceptance that i treasure.

why do you blog?