Meeting New People and Reinventing Yourself

Awhile back I posted about comment-shyness. Ironically, I think that post got more comments than almost any other post I have written. I'll get back to that in a minute.

One thing I like to do is check out the people who comment on the blogs I read. If I like what they have said in a comment, I will read their blog and sometimes add it to my feeds (Maybe this is why I have 150 + feeds I read regularly). I love hearing people's voices, learning how people think and what motivates them. I guess I am a people person, whether I admit it or not.

In my quest for discovering my personality type (Yes I DO get obsessive once in awhile, yet I usually find that whatever I am obsessed with is something God is motivating in me for one reason or another. For some all-important reason, someone is going to ask me my MBTI type and I'm going to have to know the answer. LOL.) one thing is completely clear. This is the only aspect of my personality that I'm relatively certain of: I'm an introvert. I'm not an extreme introvert, the degree to which I am such depends wholly on the situation. The better I know the people I'm around, the more extroverted I become. I was labelled "shy" from a very young age; I much prefer the word introspective. I am an observer rather than a participant, and though some people might think this is a boring way to live life, I'll tell you, I usually know more about the people I'm around than they know about themselves.

Anyhwoo...where was I going with this...

Ah, yes. Introvert. The blogosphere has found me coming out of my shell. Since my "comment-shy" post and coming to the realization that I'm not the only one who feels this way, I have found a greater degree of confidence to comment on other people's blogs. I think I am becoming a "virtual" extrovert. It's a slow process, but interestingly enough I am finding that it is carrying over into my "real" life, as well. That's another story, but I am beginning to face the possibility that I might not be able to determine my personality type because my personality is changing. Or God is changing it. I am beginning to see the purpose He might have for this season of exile. It's a mystery to me how He is doing this, or why, but I'm willing to go along for the ride.

I know he's using all you new friends to work on me, and I appreciate my new relationships. It's amazing to me how the feeling of "not being alone", even if that feeling comes from net-based friendships, does carry over into the "real" world. Suddenly, knowing there are people who understand me, or at least accept me, makes interacting with people who don't understand or accept me that much easier. There is some psychology behind this. Someone needs to study it.

Likewise, the blogworld is a like a huge virtual icebreaker. It give us an informal way to meet people, to find out what makes them tick before we ever even speak to them. We are all interconnected. This becomes even more apparent as we look at the internet and the linkage that goes on between blogs. Can we play six degrees of blogeration?

I guess what I'm finding is that we are all one big church. One BIG church. And we're all uncertain, searching, and in need of unconditional acceptance. And I find my mental image of the blogosphere is kinda like this: (Yes, this is weird. Try to track with me. I tend to be visual and metaphorical) I imagine we are all in one big room together, and we all are carrying a sign with the name of our blog, every post we've ever written, the name of every person who has commented on our blog, and the name of every blog we have commented on. We can easily see where the commonalities lie between us and the person we are talking to, we can read their blog and their comments, and know a lot about a person before we really know them. To an introvert, this is utopia, but it also aids in an introvert becoming and extrovert. I have more confidence in meeting and relating to someone once I know a little bit about who they are. Am I making any sense? If not, just ignore me.

I spend more time than I should out here in blogtopia. I love to discover new voices and am finding that the confidence to comment comes more easily to me every day. Go figure. Maybe we blog because talking to a virtual person seems "safe". I wonder how many of us bloggers are Introvert types, typically prone to keeping to ourselves, but finding we operate relatively well in the virtual world? It's a safe (there's that word again) place to discover who you really are, find your voice and meet like-minded people. In realizing that you're not so "different", in finding a community of acceptance, you will begin to grow and change.

On change: I cant help but imagine 1990. A sweaty, strange, 8-year-old kid, wearing "Sally-Jesse-Raphael" glasses, nearly friendless, nerdy and overweight, spends countless hours in the basement working on this funky thing called a computer. No one really understands or appreciates the trailblazer he is becoming as he hooks this thing up to a phone line. Voila, he begins to "find himself" on the embryonic internet. He had few friends and therefore no social life, affording him the time to dedicate to this venture of computers. He begins to meet like-minded people over usenet or whatever it was called back then, and he begins to realize that he isn't so "different" after all, he just hasn't met people "like him" until now. He builds relationships with other "computer geeks" and learns more about technology as time goes by. He begins feeling like he possesses valuable knowledge, like he is of some significance, and he gains an enormous personal self-confidence in this process. He begins to appreciate and use his intelligence, rather than seeing it as making him "different". He realizes he is cutting edge, he is cool. He is a part of something that most people don't even dream of yet.

Well, he is no longer overweight or nerdy, no longer wears glasses. He is quite popular, tall and handsome and poised, and now has his own business building computers and supporting them and running servers and web hosting and and such. He knows more about computers and the net than anyone I know. This person is my baby brother, and interaction with similar people on the internet dramatically changed who he is. He is now 24 and I look forward to watching him continue to grow.

So getting to the point today:

• Do you think your internet friendships have changed the way you interact with "real world" relationships?
• Does it seem that finding like-minded people in the blogworld has helped you feel less alone? Does it help you in dealing with "real world" people that may not accept you or your beliefs?
• Do you think you have changed because of your interactions on the internet?

Interested in your $.02.