9.15.2005

This is me...

...this is sooo me. I even have this posted above my computer, printed on pretty paper in a pretty font, so people will stop to read it.

"Either Christianity itself is flawed, failed, untrue, or our modern, Western, commercialized, industrial-strength version of it is in need of a fresh look, a serious revision.

"You can't talk about this sort of thing with just anybody. People worry about you. They may think you're changing sides, turning traitor. They may talk about you as if you came down with some communicable disease. So you keep this sort of thing like a dirty secret, this doubt that is not really a doubt about God or Jesus or faith but about our take on God, our version of Jesus, our way of faith. You can let it out only when you feel you have found someone you can trust. And when you do, and the other person says, "I can't believe you're saying this. I have felt the same way, but I thought I was the only one" --that's a good moment. Relief. Company. Affirmation. It's like you're both pieces of flint, and when your secrets strike one another, a spark of hope flies: "Maybe we're not crazy. Maybe there's a better way. Maybe there's a new way of being a Christian." And then, over time, the two of you discover you're not the only two, that there are many more out there, including some respected people, "important" people, people with names, who are wrestling with the same discontent, experiencing the same disembedding. You begin to wonder if maybe you're at the front edge of something -- if your tentative and anxious steps "off the map" are actually the beginning of a new adventure into terra nova, new ground, fresh territory."

"A New Kind of Christian" - Brian D. Mclaren

Good night.

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